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CHARACTER  TRAINING 
IN  CHILDHOOD 


TO  MAKE  IMAGINATION 
SERVICEABLE 

Every  achievement  in  the  world  was 
first  a  picture  in  someone's  imagination. 

Through  constructive  imagination 
possibihty  becomes  reahty. 


Waits  imagining  the  steam-engine. 

The  continuous  reahzation  of 
the  dream  is  progress. 

Guide  your  childs  imagination 
toward  achievement. 


HOW  TO  DEVELOP 
SELF-EXPRESSION 

Encourage  children  to  tell  or  act  the 
story, to  sing  or  play,  to  model  ordesi^n.to 
express  in  action  what  ihey  think  and  feel. 


It  is  not  what  you  "drive  into" 
a  child,  but  what  you  "draw  out" 
of  him  that  counts. 

The  child  ^rows  through  his  own 
self-expression  and  not  through 
the  achievement  of  parent  or  teacher 


WHY  CHILDREN 
SHOULD  PLAY 


All  Work-No  Play       Nothing  in  the  World  io  Do 

Rob  children  of  play- Y^^ 
dull  them  for  life. 


^ 


CHARACTER  TRAINING 
IN  CHILDHOOD 


BY 
MARY  S.   HAVILAND 

Research  Secretary  of  the  National  Child 
Welfare  Association 


BOSTON 

SMALL,  MAYNARD  &  COMPANY 

PUBLISHERS 


Copyright,  1921, 
Bt  small,  MAYNARD  &  COMPANY 

(INCOEPOEATED) 


Ha 

H&3 


TO 

THE  FATHERS  AND  MOTHERS 

OF  AMERICA 

TO  WHOM  IS  ENTRUSTED  THE  TASK  OF 

MOULDING  THEIR  COUNTRY'S   FUTURE 

THROUGH  MOULDING  HER  CITIZENS 


CONTENTS 
I 

THE  PHYSICAL  BASIS  OF  CHARACTER 

PAGH 

A  Healthy  Heritage 3 

Preparation"  for  Motherhood 10 

Health    Habits 19 

Proper  Nourishment 28 

Cleanliness 37 

II 
EARLY  HABIT  FORMING 

Begin  in  Babyhood 47 

Establish  Right  Habits 54 

Direct  the  Will 63 

Control  the  Emotions 74 

Cultivate  Self-Reliance       .     .     .     .     .     .     .     .  83 

in 

GROWTH  THROUGH  PLAY 

Children  Need  Play 95 

Guide  the  Play  of  Children 102 

The  Make-Believe  op  the  Child 108 

Constructive  Play 115 

Cooperative  Play 122 


Contents 

IV 
GROWTH  THROUGH  STUDY 

_  PAGE 

Train'  the  Senses 129 

Make  the  Imagination  Serviceable 138 

Studies  and  Life 148 

Effective  Thinking 156 

Develop   Self-Expression      .     .     • 166 

V 

GROWTH  THROUGH  WORK 

Make  Work  Interesting 179 

Train  the  Child  to  Use  Materials 188 

Train  Eye,  Hand,  and  Judgment 197 

Develop  Power 202 

VI 

THE  CHILD  AND  HIS  VOCATION 

The  Right  Choice  of  a  Life  Work 213 

Why  Children  Leave  School 221 

Untrained  Boys  and  Girls 230 

Training  for  Home-Making 238 

The  Drone  and  the  Worker 247 

VII 

THE  RELIGIOUS  EDUCATION  OP  THE  CHILD 

The  Religion  of  a  Child  .,.....,.  259 

Religion  and  the  Home 269 

Religious  Education 276 

Religion  Is  a  Per'^onal  Power 284 

Religion  Is  a  Social  Power 290 


THE  PHYSICAL  BASIS  OF. 
CHARACTER 


CHARACTER  TRAINING  IN 
CHILDHOOD 

■A  HEALTHY  HERITAGE 

In  the  old  tale  of  the  Sleeping  Beauty,  all 
the  fairies  gathered  around  the  cradle  to  be- 
stow their  gifts  upon  the  newborn  princess. 
But  you  remember  that  the  royal  parents 
had  neglected  to  invite  one  fairy,  who  in  re- 
venge, laid  a  curse  upon  the  innocent  baby 
—  a  curse  which  fell  upon  her  when  she  had 
attained  the  first  bloom  of  girlish  beauty. 

This  story,  or  some  variation  of  it,  is 
found  in  every  language,  for  it  is  based  upon 
a  universal  truth  —  the  truth  that  we  all 
come  into  this  world  with  certain  gifts  and 
certain  defects.  We  may  cultivate  the 
gifts,  or  neglect  them ;  we  may  overcome  the 
defects  or  we  may  yield  to  them  and  bring 


4         Character  Training  in  Childhood 

the  inherited  curse  upon  us.  The  Life 
Force  metes  out  to  each  one  his  heritage,  for 
him  to  invest  or  to  squander,  as  he  will. 

In  the  old  Scottish  law,  the  word  ''  heri- 
tage "  was  used  to  mean  property  handed 
down  to  a  man  from  his  father,  as  distinct 
from  property  which  the  man  himself  ob- 
tained by  purchase  or  conquest.  So,  the 
word  nowadays  is  used  to  mean  all  those 
tendencies  of  body,  mind  and  temperament, 
all  those  *'  family  traits  "  which  are  horn 
in  a  man,  as  distinct  from  those  traits  which 
he  himself  acquires  during  his  journey 
through  this  world. 

In  the  case  of  any  one  individual,  it  is 
often  extremely  difficult  to  discover  whether 
a  certain  trait  is  inborn  or  acquired.  John's 
violent  temper  may  be  inherited  from  his 
father,  or  it  may  be  mere  imitation  of 
his  father.  His  love  of  music  may  be  an 
inheritance  from  his  mother's  family,  or  it 
may  be  due  to  his  having  heard  good  music 
from  his  earliest  infancy.  So  interwoven 
are  our  inheritance  and  our  acquisitions 


A  Healthy  Heritage  5 

that  often  even  a  parent  cannot  say  which  is 
which  in  his  own  child. 

And  yet  it  is  most  important  that  parents, 
actual  and  prospective,  should  understand 
the  law  of  heredity,  in  its  main  aspects.  It 
is  vitally  important  that  they  should  invite 
all  the  good  fairies  to  preside  over  the  birth 
of  their  child,  and  that  they  should  not  un- 
wittingly, like  the  royal  pair  in  the  fairy 
tale,  bring  a  curse  on  their  baby's  innocent 
head. 

In  the  first  place,  since  the  child  is  formed 
from  the  germ  cells  of  father  and  mother, 
and  since  we  know  that  each  human  being 
is  born  with  his  quota  of  germ  cells  and  does 
not  add  to  their  number,  during  his  life,  it 
follows  that  the  child  cannot  inherit  any 
trait  which  was  acquired  by  either  parent. 
He  can  inherit  only  such  traits  as  were,  in 
turn,  inherited  by  his  parents  from  their 
parents. 

For  instance,  generations  of  Chinese 
women  have  acquired  deformed  feet,  from 
the  practice  of  binding  them  in  infancy,  yet 


6         Character  Training  in  Childhood 

Chinese  babies  are  born  with  perfect  feet. 
In  many  savage  tribes,  it  is  the  custom  to 
pierce  the  ears  or  nose,  yet  no  child  is  born 
so.  An  industrious  scientist  once  cut  off  the 
tails  of  many,  many  generations  of  rats,  but 
the  baby  rats  always  came  into  the  world 
with  as  long  tails  as  ever. 

No  parent  need  fear  to  hand  down  to  his 
children  any  affliction  which  he  himself  did 
not  inherit.  If  a  man  is  blinded  in  an  acci- 
dent, or  made  deaf  by  scarlet  fever,  it  can- 
not affect  his  children,  for  the  first  great  law 
of  heredity  is  that  acquired  characteristics 
cannot  be  inherited. 

A  second  great  law  is  that  any  innate  char- 
acteristic possessed  by  both  parents  is  doubly 
liable  to  be  passed  on  to  the  child.  If  both 
father  and  mother  are  extremely  nervous, 
the  child  will  probably  be  so.  If  there  is  a 
tendency  to  epilepsy  on  both  sides  of  the 
family,  the  danger  is  very  great  that  some 
of  the  children  will  develop  it.  A  case  has 
never  been  known  where  two  feebleminded 
Xjarents  had  a  normal  child. 


THE  BIRTH  RIGHT 

Definite  laws  govern  the  production 
of  crops  and  human  beings. 

Better  seeds;  better  soil;  better  crops. 
Better  parents;  better  homes-,  better  children. 


1 

1 

1 

If 

»- 

'  li 

iC 

.4 

t 

V  '-fc  • 

'.> 

«t: 

■-^'-^- 

The  most  valuable  crop; 
the  children. 

Every  child  has  "the  righi 
to  be  well  born. 


A  Healthy  Heritage  7 

A  third  fact  that  should  be  more  generally 
known  is  that  certain  defects  or  tendencies 
to  disease  are  especially  liable  to  he  handed 
down  to  one 's  children.     No  one  should  have 
children  whose  family  shows  a  marked  tend- 
ency to  feeblemindednes,  insanity,  epilepsy, 
St.  Vitus'  Dance,  or  deaf  mutism.     The  af- 
fliction may  skip  a  generation  but  is  almost 
certain  to  crop  out  again.     It  is  estimated 
that  eighty  per  cent,  of  feeblemindedness  is 
hereditary.    What  an  awful  responsibility 
rests  upon  any  human  being  who,  by  marry- 
ing a  normal  member  of  a  mentally  defective 
family,  hel^DS  to  pass  on  the  defective  seed 
to  future  generations. 

The  venereal  diseases,  syphilis  and  gonor- 
rhea, are  not,  strictly  speaking,  hereditary, — 
that  is,  they  are  not  passed  down  by  the  germ 
cells,  sometimes  skipping  a  generation,  as 
is  the  case  with  epilepsy,  insanity,  etc.  The 
venereal  diseases  may,  however,  infect  the 
unborn  child.  Thousands  of  innocents  are 
yearly  slaughtered  because,  before  birth, 
they  caught  the  infection  from  their  moth- 


8         Character  Training  in  Childhood 

ers, — mothers  often  innocent  also,  but  in- 
fected by  a  diseased  husband.  No  more  aw- 
ful blight  can  fall  upon  a  child  than  to  be 
fathered  by  such  a  man.  No  more  horrible 
mistake  can  be  made  by  any  girl  than  to 
fancy  she  can  help  such  a  man  by  marry- 
ing him.  No  crop  in  the  world  is  so  terrible 
as  that  which  a  youth  reaps,  for  himself  and 
his  children,  from  the  sowing  of  his  ''wild 
oats." 

In  our  agricultural  colleges,  we  teach  the 
truth  concerning  the  rearing  of  plants  and 
breeding  of  cattle,  to  the  end  that  we  may 
have  bumper  crops  and  fine  stock.  Does  it 
not  seem  a  little  strange  that  not  one  child 
in  a  thousand  is  ever  taught  the  laws  of 
heredity  which  apply  just  as  rigidly  to 
hiunan  beings  as  to  plants?  Is  it  not  odd 
that  we  teach  our  daughters  interpretive 
dancing,  that  they  may  be  graceful,  and  per- 
haps even  train  them  in  cookery  that  they 
may  be  practical,  while  we  never  show  them 
how  loveliness  and  power  or  ugliness  and 


A  Healthy  Heritage  9 

death  may  be  passed  on  by  them  to  their 
children? 

There  is  no  question  that  environment — 
the  things  which  are  around  a  human  be- 
ing— have  a  tremendous  effect  in  moulding 
his  character,  but  it  is  equally  certain  that 
the  traits  horn  in  a  man  are  enormously  im- 
portant. Good  soil  can  do  much,  but  it  can- 
not quite  make  up  for  poor  seed. 

Holmes  wittily  said  that  to  reform  a  man 
you  must  begin  with  his  grandfather.  Simi- 
larly, the  first  step  in  building  a  child's  char- 
acter is  to  give  him  the  right  sort  of  parents. 
And  that  means  not  merely  loving,  wise  par- 
ents, but  parents  who  can  give  him  a  Heri- 
tage of  sound  health,  sound  mind  and  good 
character. 


PEEPAKATION  FOR  MOTHERHOOD 

In  his  book  ''Expectant  Motherhood,"  the 
noted  Scotch  physician,  Dr.  J.  W.  Ballan- 
tyne,  writes,  "The  building  of  a  ship  is  more 
wonderful  than  the  launching  of  it  on  its  first 
cruise,  the  sculpturing  of  a  statue  is  a  greater 
thing  than  the  unveiling  of  it;  and  so  the 
making  and  growth  of  the  infant  in  the  womb 
are  more  momentous  than  its  entrance  into 
the  life  that  follows  birth." 

Not  equally  momentous,  you  observe,  but 
^'more  momentous."  How  few  women  real- 
ize that  fact!  They  make  every  arrange- 
ment for  the  wonderful  day  when  His  High- 
ness, the  baby,  shall  enter  the  world.  They 
secure  the  services  of  doctor  and  nurse 
months  ahead.  They  devote  hours  of  time 
and  untold  measures  of  their  precious 
strength  to  preparing  the  tiny  wardrobe. 
But  how  many  make  the  best  use  of  those 
crucial  months  during  which,  in  darkness, 

10 


PRENATAL  CARE 

Birth  is  not  the 
beginning  of  life. 


Prenatal 
■*  Unpreparedness 

Poor  and 
insufficient  food. 
Overwork.. 
Foul  Ain 
Worry 


"S^i 


Nature  follows  strictly  the 
law  of  cause  and  eifeet. 


,Vg 


Prenaial 
Preparedness 

Vi^  Food. 
Sleep. 
Fresh  Air. 
Happiness 


^3 


At  no  other  period  of  life  is 
the  contribution  to  the  future 
welfare  of  the  child  so  important 


Preparation  for  Motherhood  11 

and  far  underground  as  it  were,  are  laid  the 
foundations  of  the  House  of  Life — that 
earthly  tenement  in  which  the  coming  soul 
must  pass  its  days  ? 

The  average  young  mother  expecting  her 
first  baby,  knows  next  to  nothing  about  the 
facts  or  the  hygiene  of  pregnancy  and  most 
of  what  she  thinks  she  knows  is  false !  For 
instance,  you  will  hear  such  a  mother  say,  *'I 
hardly  dare  to  go  out.  There  is  a  hospital 
full  of  wounded  soldiers  near  our  house  and 
I'm  afraid  I  might  see  some  dreadful  sight 
that  would  'mark'  the  baby." 

I  have  heard  otherwise  intelligent  women 
talk  this  sort  of  nonsense,  when  every  doctor 
agrees  that  such  "marking"  is  absolutely 
impossible.  It  is  true  that  a  severe  shock 
may  affect  the  mother's  blood,  from  which 
the  baby  draws  his  food  supply,  and  may 
thus  be  injurious  to  him — anything  which 
upsets  the  mother  is,  in  this  way,  bad  for  the 
child.  There  is,  however,  no  nerve  connec- 
tion between  the  mother  and  child.  Hence 
no  nervous  shock  can  deform  him.    In  any 


12       Character  Training  in  Childhood 

case,  the  form  of  the  child's  body  is  perma- 
nently fixed  during  the  first  six  weeks  of  his 
prenatal  life,  so  that  it  cannot  be  altered 
later.  Therefore,  tales  of  an  unborn  child's 
being  "marked"  by  a  fright  to  his  mother  a 
few  weeks  before  his  birth  are  utterly  un- 
founded. 

It  follows  that  we  must  also  reject  the 
popular  stories  of  musical  prodigies  who 
were  made  so  by  their  mothers'  constant  lis- 
tening to  music,  and  of  artists  who  were 
moulded  by  their  mothers'  gazing  on  the 
Sistine  Madonna.  In  no  such  fashion  can 
we  determine  what  our  children  shall  be. 
All  that  any  mother  can  do  is  to  lead  a  sim- 
ple, wholesome,  happy  life  during  the 
months  of  her  waiting,  and  leave  the  rest  to 
Nature. 

The  young  mother  is  likely  to  do  one  of 
two  things.  Either,  as  has  been  suggested, 
she  gives  no  thought  to  laying  the  founda- 
tions of  health  for  her  baby,  or  she  gives  en- 
tirely too  much,  fussing  over  every  detail 
of  the  day's  routine  and  making  a  martyr- 


Preparation  for  Motherhood  13 

dom  of  what  should  be  a  time  of  happiness. 

In  the  first  case,  you  will  see  her  in  a  stuffy 
department  store  spending  her  strength  in 
shopping.  In  the  second,  you  are  likely  to 
find  her  conscientiously  ''resting"  on  a  sofa 
all  day  thinking  of  and  dreading  the  com- 
ing ordeal. 

The  past  century,  the  past  fifty  years  even, 
have  taught  us  a  vast  amount  about  moth- 
ers and  babies.  The  modern  doctor  knows 
that  since  child-bearing  is  a  perfectly  nat- 
ural function,  the  expectant  mother  should 
lead  as  nearly  normal  a  life  as  possible — a 
life  that  includes  plenty  of  fresh  air,  as 
much  exercise  as  she  finds  comfortable, 
rather  more  sleep  than  usual,  simple  food, 
enough  light  work  to  keep  her  occupied,  and 
plenty  of  happiness.  The  modern  doctor 
frowns  equally  upon  the  washings  and  house- 
cleanings  that  our  grandmothers  persisted  in 
despite  their  condition,  and  the  invalidism 
which  so  many  women  nowadays  assume  as 
a  natural  attitude. 

One  of  our  best  obstetricians  declares  that 


14       Character  Trainirig  in  Childhood 

if  a  woman's  daily  life  has  been  hygienic,  she 
need,  during  pregnancy,  change  it  only  very 
slightly,  and  should,  so  far  as  possible,  forget 
her  condition. 

The  matter  of  diet  is  one  of  the  most  im- 
portant parts  of  hygiene  for  the  future 
mother.  In  general  it  may  be  said  that 
whatever  keeps  the  mother  in  the  best  condi- 
tion will  also  be  best  for  the  child.  Diet  is 
always  an  individual  matter.  There  are  cer- 
tain articles  that  one  person  seems  to  need 
while  they  violently  disagree  with  another. 
However,  all  doctors  agree  that  the  moth- 
er's food  should  be  simple,  nutritious,  easily 
digested,  and  laxative.  She  should  have 
plenty  of  ripe  fruit  and  vegetables,  whole 
wheat  or  other  coarse  bread,  drink  at  least 
three  quarts  of  liquid  (mostly  water)  a  day, 
eat  meat  but  once  a  day,  or  less,  and  avoid 
cake,  candy,  sweets,  fried  food  and  other 
''frills." 

The  idea  that  the  mother  must  "eat  for 
two"  is  exploded.     Dr.  J.  Morris  Slemons, 


Preparation  for  Motherhood  15 

one  of  our  foremost  obstetricians,  declares 
that  '*For  the  average  woman,  it  is  wiser 
to  take  less  during  pregnancy  rather  than 
more,  for  over-indulgence  is  apt  to  lead  to 
indigestion."  He  also  points  out  that  small 
amounts  of  food  taken  five  or  six  times  daily 
are  usually  better  than  large  meals,  as  this 
method  lessens  the  tendency  to  nausea,  espe- 
cially during  the  latter  months. 

Fresh  air  is  essential.  Open  air  walks, 
stopping  the  minute  she  begins  to  tire,  sitting 
warmly  wrapped  on  the  porch  or  in  a  sunny 
window,  and  sleeping  on  a  porch  or  with 
wide  open  windows  v^ll  ventilate  the  moth- 
er's whole  system  and  carry  plenty  of  oxygen 
into  the  blood. 

Light  work  is  very  desirable,  both  for  the 
exercise  it  gives  and  because  it  occupies  the 
mind  and  prevents  "the  blues."  Do  not, 
however,  make  the  mistake  made  by  a  young 
friend  of  mine,  who  was  seized  with  a  de- 
sire to  transplant  some  shrubs  and,  in  lift- 
ing a  heavy  pot,  brought  on  a  miscarriage. 


16       Character  Training  in  Childhood 

Lifting,  stair-climbing,  sweeping,  running 
the  sewing  machine,  and  all  heavy  work  must 
be  tabooed. 

Sleep  and  rest  are  never  so  much  needed 
as  during  pregnancy.  Eight  to  ten  hours 
in  bed  is  none  too  much  and  an  afternoon 
nap  is  an  investment  that  will  bear  interest 
in  added  strength  and  cheerfulness.  The 
mother  should  try  to  plan  her  work  so  that 
she  may  have  frequent  rest  periods,  and 
should  never  hurry  from  one  task  to  an- 
other, or  "drive"  herself  to  finish  a  piece 
of  work.  It  is  far  better  that  the  task 
should  be  undone  than  that  she  should  be 
' '  done  up. ' ' 

In  the  matter  of  bathing,  the  best  authori- 
ties advocate  a  tepid  bath  each  night,  just 
before  bedtime,  for  the  skin  needs  thorough 
cleansing  and  the  tepid  bath  is,  for  most 
people,  a  soothing  preparation  for  sound 
sleep. 

Concerning  clothing  there  is  but  little  to 
say  except  that  it  should  be  light,  warm, 
loose,  and  give  support  to  the  abdomen  and 


Preparation  for  Motherhood  17 

breast.  Anything  that  binds  or  tires  the 
body  is  most  harmful.  High  heels  create 
bad  posture.  Let  the  heels  be  low  and  of 
rubber. 

If  you  go  through  the  few  paragraphs  of 
advice  just  given,  it  is  clear  that  prepara- 
tion for  motherhood  is  nothing  but  leading 
a  natural  life,  with  rather  more  rest  and  less 
responsibility  than  usual.  The  woman  who 
follows  this  regime  will  usually  have  no 
complications,  but  it  is  always  wise  to  pre- 
vent these  by  discovering  them  in  time. 
Therefore,  every  mother  should  see  the  doc- 
tor or  nurse  at  frequent  intervals,  to  make 
sure  that  all  is  going  as  it  should. 

It  has  been  estimated  that  the  loss  of  in- 
fant life  before  birth  is  even  greater  than 
that  during  the  first  year  of  life.  And  how 
terrible  it  is  to  think  that  the  greater  part 
of  this  fearful  waste  could  be  avoided — not 
to  mention  the  additional  waste  in  sickness 
and  suffering  which  comes  in  later  life  as 
the  result  of  this  neglect  before  birth. 

Blessed  is  the  baby  who  is  given  a  **  square 


18       Character  Training  in  Childhood 

deal,"  in  that  he  has  a  heritage  of  health  and 
that,  during  the  dark  and  silent  months  be- 
fore he  enters  this  world,  that  heritage  is 
confiiTQed  by  the  simple,  healthful  habits  of 
a  wise  mother. 


HEALTH  HABITS 

It  is  an  old  and  trite  saying  that  we  are 
"creatures  of  habit."  Ordinarily  the 
phrase  is  taken  to  mean  merely  that  we  all 
do  things  in  certain  accustomed  ways.  But 
the  true  meaning  of  the  word  "creature"  is 
"that  which  is  created/'  so  that  the  phrase 
really  was  intended  to  convey  the  truth  that 
we  are  created  by  habit. 

I  have  sometimes  thought  of  man  as  thrice 
created, — first  by  the  Life  Force  which  is 
his  inborn  heritage,  next  by  the  good  or  evil 
habits  which  mould  his  infancy  and  child- 
hood, and  last  by  his  own  ivill,  which  can 
master  habit  and  may  even  conquer  inherited 
tendencies. 

We  have  spoken  already  of  the  child's 
heritage,  and  shall  talk  later  of  his  will. 
Let  us,  for  a  moment,  consider  those  habits 
which  create  his  health  or  illness. 

19 


20       Character  Training  in  Childhood 

The  first  habit  of  all,  that  which  is  the 
basis  of  all  good  habits,  is  regularity. 
There  is  a  great  deal  of  chatter  nowadays 
about  abolishing  rules,  following  the  lead 
of  the  child's  desires,  not  "tying  him  down" 
to  set  times  and  tasks — the  idea  being  that 
we  shall  thus  encourage  his  individuality 
and  prevent  him  from  becoming  a  "ma- 
chine. ' ' 

I  recently  met  an  unusually  clever  but  ex- 
tremely nervous  woman  who  had  been 
brought  up  on  this  theory — or  rather,  had 
grown  up  in  the  practice  of  irregularity. 
She  told  me  that,  as  a  child,  she  had  never 
had  a  regular  bedtime,  but  had  sat  around 
the  open  fire  with  her  seniors  listening  to 
their  talk  until  she  fell  asleep.  Meals  were 
served  "when  they  were  ready."  The  life 
of  the  whole  household,  on  a  charming  south- 
ern plantation,  drifted  along  haphazard,  ac- 
cording to  the  whims  of  its  members.  She 
ended  her  reminiscences  by  saying,  "We 
children  all  grew  up  as  nervous  as  could 
be,  and  I've  always  thought  it  was  largely 


V:] 


EARLY  HABIT  FORMING 

Habits  be^iii  io  be  formed,  from  birth. 

Regular  feeding,  sleeping  and 
play  establish  right  habits. 

"Pacifiersr  "soothing- syrups!'  etc. 
start  self-indul^enf  habits. 


The  Proper  Balance 

REGULAR  CARE  ^  LETTING  ALONE 
^ives  the  child  a  chance  for 
Self  Activity  and  Self  Control, 
Future  Health  and  Character 


Health  Habits  21 

due  to  there  being  no  system  and  no  regular- 
ity about  our  childhood." 

I  am  not  denying  that  regularity  may  be 
carried  to  the  extreme  of  cast-iron  rigidity, 
but  nowadays  the  trend  is  all  the  other  way 
and  it  is  a  trend  very  dangerous  to  the  health 
of  any  child,  and,  more  subtly  and  indirectly, 
to  his  character  also. 

To  be  regular  is  not  to  be  like  a  machine, 
it  is  to  be  like  Nature  herself.  The  planets 
revolve  in  regidar  orbits;  day  and  night, 
siunmer  and  winter,  come  and  go  with  never 
varying  regularity.  So  with  our  bodies: — 
the  heart,  if  it  be  healthy,  beats  with  a  meas- 
ured, regular  throb;  the  breath  comes  and 
goes  steadily;  at  a  certain  age  certain  pow- 
ers develop,  at  a  later  age,  others — all  is 
regular,  ordered,  rhythmic.  It  is  only  when 
we  are  ill  that  the  breath  becomes  spasmodic, 
the  heart-beat  irregular,  and  tranquil  regu- 
larity gives  place  to  disorder  and  pain. 

Therefore  the  first  and  most  fundamental 
of  all  habits  is  that  of  regularity.  Let  the 
baby  be  fed,  bathed  and  laid  down  for  his 


22       Character  Training  in  Childhood 

nap  or  night's  sleep  at  the  same  hour  each 
day.  There  is  nothing  so  unsettling  to  a 
child's  health  and  happiness  as  being  with- 
out a  fixed,  daily  routine. 

Grown  people  often  have  a  mistaken  idea 
that  little  children  love  change  and  should 
be  constantly  given  special  treats  to  "break 
the  monotony"  of  their  uneventful  lives — 
whereas,  monotony  is  the  last  thing  that  ever 
bores  a  small  child.  To  him  this  world  is 
a  brand-new  and  highly  exciting  spectacle, 
whose  various  aspects  he  must  study  and 
view  and  review  again  and  again.  That  is 
why  a  small  child  prefers  to  hear  the  same 
story  over  and  over,  and  when  the  parent, 
bored  to  the  verge  of  despair,  suggests  ' '  such 
a  lovely  new  story,"  the  conservative  infant 
will  none  of  it,  but  demands  the  threadbare 
favorite  all  over  again. 

No,  regularity  and  monotony  may  bore 
us  grown-ups,  but  not  the  youngsters. 

The  second  great  law  of  the  nursery  is 
tranquillity.  We  cannot  hang  our  papoose 
to  a  tree,  as  the  squaw  does,  and  leave  him 


Health  Habits  28 

to  his  own  devices  all  day, —  he  must  be 
bathed,  fed,  laid  down  for  his  nap  and  ''seen 
to"  more  or  less,  at  frequent  intervals.  But 
why,  in  the  name  of  commonsense,  should 
we  wait  upon,  talk  to,  entertain,  carry  about 
and  generally  excite  the  child  during  his 
every  waking  moment? 

Just  being  alive,  just  lying  and  gazing 
at  this  marvellous,  new  universe  gives 
''thrills"  enough  to  anyone  newly  arrived 
therein.  The  baby  brain  finds  wonders  on 
every  side  with  which  to  occupy  itself  and 
has  no  need  of  our  constant  "entertain- 
ment." I  often  wonder  what  the  baby 
thinks  of  the  adult  who  whistles,  chucks  him 
under  the  chin,  claps  his  hands  and  per- 
forms all  sorts  of  other  antics,  with  the  ob- 
ject of  being  "entertaining." 

I  happen  to  know  a  young  couple,  both 
rather  nervous  and  high-strung,  who  have  a 
charming  boy  of  three  and  a  baby  girl  a  few 
months  old.  So  far  from  being  nervous, 
they  are  the  most  serene  children  I  have 
ever  seen.     Their  mother  explained  this  by 


24       Character  Training  in  Childhood 

saying,  *'I  realized  that  Sonny  and  Baby 
were  likely  to  have  rather  a  nervous  tend- 
ency, because  their  father  and  I  are  that 
way.  So  I  determined  to  give  them  just  as 
quiet  and  peaceful  a  start  in  life  as  possible. 
Of  course.  Baby  has  to  be  seen  to  frequently, 
and  I  talk  to  her  and  play  with  her  a  little 
when  I  bathe  her,  but  between  times  she 
stays  quietly  by  herself,  playing  with  her 
fingers  and  toes  and  getting  used  to  this 
strange,  new  world.  I  go  in  now  and  then 
to  see  that  she  is  dry  and  comfortable  and 
to  smile  and  speak  to  her,  but  she  is  so 
used  to  being  let  alone,  that  she  never  cries 
for  company. 

*'I  did  the  same  with  Brother  when  he  was 
little.  Of  course,  now  that  he  is  older,  he 
is  more  with  us,  but  he  amuses  himself  by 
the  hour  on  the  porch  or  in  the  backyard, 
with  merely  an  occasional  word  or  smile 
from  me.  When  we  have  company,  he  en- 
joys them  with  the  rest  of  us,  but  if  I  see 
that  he  is  beginning  to  grow  excited  or  nerv- 
ous, I  send  him  off  to  play  by  himself. 


Health  Habits  25 

There's  nothing  like  quiet  and  plenty  of  soli- 
tude for  soothing  the  nerves." 

I  mentally  contrasted  her  method  with 
that  of  another  acquaintance  who  has  a  boy 
of  the  same  age  as  Sonn}^  Little  Jack,  from 
the  time  he  was  born,  has  gone  everywhere 
and  done  everything  with  his  parents ;  sho^D- 
ping,  visiting,  travelling,  dining  in  restaur- 
ants, he  is  always  the  center  of  interest  be- 
cause of  his  cherub  face  and  lively  prattle. 
He  is  undoubtedly  more  precocious  than 
peaceful  little  Sonny,  but  he  is  fast  becoming 
an  extremely  nervous  child,  and  I  fear  will 
make  a  capricious,  superficial  man. 

As  I  look  at  him,  I  think  of  Matthew  Ar- 
nold's lines, 

"What  shelter  to  grow  ripe  is  ours? 
What  leisure  to  grow  wise?" 

No  human  body  can  develop  into  health 
and  vigor,  no  human  soul  can  gain  wisdom 
and  power,  unless  it  has  shelter  from  the 
crowd  and  leisure  hours  for  thought  and 
peaceful  growth.  We  Americans  suffer, 
physically  and  spiritually,  from  our  atmos- 


26       Character  Training  in  Childhood 

phere  of  crowds  and  haste.  Let  us  at  least 
make  an  *'isle  of  safety"  around  our  chil- 
dren, where  they  can,  as  the  poet  says, 
''ripen"  into  a  serene,  strong  maturity. 

If  these  two  great  laws  of  regularity  and 
tranquillity  are  supreme  in  the  nursery, 
there  is  little  need  to  warn  against  certain 
bad  practices.  I  mean  the  use  of  pacifiers, 
soothing  syrups  and  other  means  of  keep- 
ing the  baby  quiet. 

Soothing  syrups  are  often  ''doped"  and 
should  never  be  used,  except  under  a  doctor's 
express  direction.  Many  a  baby  has  been  in- 
jured for  life  or  even  killed  by  the  careless 
use  of  such  drugs. 

As  for  pacifiers,  they  distort  the  child's 
mouth,  lead  to  mouth-breathing,  often  cause 
adenoids,  and  may  make  the  teeth  grow  in  a 
bad  position.  They  are  also  likely  to  be 
dirty.  Often  and  often  I  have  seen  a  paci- 
fier drop  to  the  ground,  only  to  be  replaced 
in  the  baby's  mouth  after  a  hasty  wipe. 

Another  serious  count  against  the  paci- 
fier or  any  other  artificial  means  of  sooth- 


Health  Habits  27 

tng  the  baby  is  that  thej  start  self-indulgent 
habits.  A  baby  who  has  been  used  to  suck- 
ing all  day  on  a  pacifier  will  cry  when  de- 
prived of  it.  But  it  is  not  natural  for  the 
baby  to  suck  all  day,  any  more  than  it  is 
natural  for  his  mother  to  munch  candy  all 
day  or  for  his  father  to  smoke  all  day.  Yet 
all  three  of  these  habits  can  become  so  fixed 
that  to  break  them  causes  real  pain.  The 
sensible  adult  does  not  enslave  himself  to 
any  useless  and  harmful  habit  which  is  as 
bad  for  his  character  as  for  his  health.  Nor 
should  the  parent  fix  upon  the  helpless  child 
any  harmful  habit.  It  will  imperceptibly, 
but  very  really,  weaken  his  power  of  will 
and  self-control,  if,  every  time  he  cries,  his 
mouth  is  stopped  and  his  attention  dis- 
tracted by  a  pacifier.  If  the  crying  is 
caused  by  real  discomfort,  remove  the  cause. 
If  the  baby  cries  for  company  or  from  anger, 
let  him  have  his  cry  out.  It  will  exercise  his 
lungs  and  show  him  that  crying  is  not  the 
way  to  get  things  in  this  world. 


PEOPER  NOURISHMENT 

The  saying  "There  is  no  accounting  for 
tastes"  may  contain  a  grain  of  truth,  but  it 
is  mostly  falsehood,  for  tastes  are  largely 
accounted  for  by  habit.  Nowhere  is  this 
more  evident  than  in  the  matter  of  food. 
The  Eskimo  devours  blubber  with  delight, 
the  Chinaman  enjoys  birds'  nests,  the  Euro- 
pean eats  oysters,  frogs'  legs  and  lobster. 
Each  one  marvels  at  the  disgusting  diet  of 
the  others. 

This  conservatism  in  the  matter  of  food, 
this  dislike  to  try  any  unfamiliar  dish,  is 
especially  noticeable  in  children.  Just  as 
the  child  likes  to  hear  the  same  story  over 
and  over  again,  so  he  has  a  strong  desire  to 
eat  the  same  things  every  day,  and  even  at 
every  meal. 

While  the  baby  is  small,  this  tendency  is 
a  safeguard.  Up  to  about  nine  months,  the 
child  needs  only  milk.     Then,  gradually,  the 

28 


NOURISHMENT 

Proper  nourishment  induces  righi 
feeliii^.coniributes  to  ri^htihink- 
ing  and  makes  for  right  conduct. 


IGNORANCE.  Unwise  choice  of  food, 
irregularity  in  meal^-.  bolting  of  food, 
lack  of  exercise  and  fresh  air.contribuie 
to  an  irritable  state  of  mind. 


INTELLIGENCE.  Simple  food,  reguianty. 
proper  mastication,  plenty  of  exercise, 
fresh  air  and  sleep.contribufe  to  a 
cheerful  state  of  mind. 

Information  about  diet  may  be  had  from 
the  City  or  State  Department  of  Health. 


V 


Proper  Nourishment  29 

diet  should  be  enlarged  to  include  strained 
cereals,  steAved  fruits,  broths,  toast,  soft  eggs, 
green  vegetables  well  mashed,  in  increasing 
amounts  and  variety  until,  at  seven  years, 
the  child  should  be  eating  any  sort  of  simple, 
well-cooked  food. 

But  the  trouble  is  that  most  of  us  do  not 
know  enough  to  work  with  Nature.  When 
the  baby  is  small,  we  are  eager  to  give  him 
*'just  a  taste"  of  everything  in  sight.  I 
repeat  that  babies  do  not  naturally  crave  a 
widely  varied  diet.  It  is  no  hardship  for 
the  baby  to  eat  his  bread  and  milk  while 
the  family  dine  on  meat  and  vegetables — no 
hardship  unless  his  naturally  simple  taste 
has  been  ruined  by  being  fed  with  tidbits 
from  father's  or  mother's  plate.  It  is  quite 
possible  so  to  spoil  a  baby's  taste  and  ruin 
his  digestion  by  this  sort  of  indulgence  that 
he  will  cry  for  every  dish  he  sees. 

And  when  a  baby's  natural  instinct  for 
simplicity  is  thus  upset,  the  whole  basis  of 
his  baby-life  is  upset  with  it.  If,  instead  of 
simple  meals  at  regular  hours,  he  is  given 


30       Character  Training  in  Childhood 

whatever  lie  cries  for,  whenever  he  wants  it, 
the  very  bases  of  character  are  made  un- 
sure. The  little  child  who  is  permitted  to 
eat  as  much  as  he  wishes,  of  whatever  he 
wishes,  whenever  he  wishes,  is  not  merely 
building  a  sickly  body  and  a  weak  digestion ; 
he  is  also  building  a  weak  will  and  a  self- 
indulgent  character. 

After  the  child  is  about  seven  years  old,  he 
should  have  a  varied  diet,  but,  oddly  enough, 
the  baby  who  eats  everything  is  very  likely 
to  grow  into  the  child  who  will  eat  only  a 
few  things.  I  have  in  mind  a  poor  Irish 
family  that  I  once  knew.  Little  Minnie, 
aged  eighteen  months,  sat  at  the  table  with 
the  family  and  ate,  as  her  mother  proudly 
announced, ' '  wid  the  best  of  us. ' '  That  is  to 
say,  she  devoured  meat,  potatoes  and  cabbage 
and  dearly  loved  to  drink  from  her  father's 
cup  of  coffee.  She  always  demanded  loudly 
her  right  to  taste  of  every  dish,  but  never 
ate  a  great  deal.  "I  niver  give  her  much, 
but  sure  a  wee  taste  can't  hurt  her,"  said 
Mrs.  Sullivan. 


Proper  Nourishment  31 

With  the  older  girl,  Katie,  aged  eleven, 
who  should  have  been  eating  a  wide  variety, 
it  was  just  the  other  way  around.  She 
would  eat  nothing  but  meat,  potatoes,  tea 
and  sweets,  as  we  found  to  our  chagrin  when 
we  took  her  for  a  visit  in  the  country.  She 
could  not  be  induced  to  eat  any  green  vege- 
tables, she  refused  cereals,  and  begged  for  a 
cup  of  tea  in  place  of  her  glass  of  new  milk. 

Katie  was  the  victim  of  two  fundamental 
mistakes  in  diet.  As  a  baby,  her  digestion 
had  been  weakened  and  a  capricious  appetite 
encouraged  by  eating  "everything"  like  lit- 
tle Minnie.  And  a  second  mistake  had  been 
made  by  allowing  her,  as  she  grew  older,  to 
eat  the  two  or  three  things  that  she  liked 
best,  to  the  exclusion  of  other  dishes. 

I  do  not  mean  that  a  child  should  be  forced 
to  eat  quantities  of  distasteful  food,  but  he 
should  be  made  to  try  a  little  of  each  new 
dish  until  he  learns  to  like  it,  or  until  it  is 
clear  that  his  dislike  is  a  natural  and  permis- 
sible antipathy  and  not  a  mere  whim. 

I  emphasize  this  matter  of  a  balanced  diet 


32       Character  Training  in  Childhood 

so  strongly  because  many  parents  do  not 
realize  that  a  child  may  be  fed,  but  not  nour- 
islied.  Examination  of  countless  school 
children  shows  that  undernourishment  is  not 
merely  a  matter  of  poverty.  Many  and 
many  a  child  of  wealth  is  undernourished. 

Plenty  of  fresh  air  and  sleep  are  needed 
for  a  well  nourished  body,  but,  above  all,  we 
must  give  our  children  well  selected  food. 

It  is  not  necessary  for  parents  to  be  ex- 
per  dietitians  but  they  should  understand  a 
few  simple  facts  about  food. 

Food  is  needed  to  keep  the  body  warm,  to 
give  it  fuel  with  which  to  work,  and  to  pro- 
vide material  with  which  to  grow  and  to  re- 
pair waste. 

The  tissue-building  and  waste-repairing 
foods, — proteids,  as  the  scientists  call  them, 
— are  meat,  fish,  eggs,  milk,  cheese.  To 
these  may  be  added  beans,  peas,  oatmeal, 
cornmeal,  barley,  macaroni  and  all  forms  of 
whole  wheat.  This  second  list  contains  a 
large  amount  of  tissue-building  material 
but  also  possesses  much  heat  and  energy- 


Proper  Nourishment  33 

making  power,  so  that  the  foods  on  this  sec- 
ond list  are  doubly  valuable. 

The  foods  which  are  almost  entirely  com- 
posed of  heat  and  energy-giving  materials 
are  the  starches  and  sugars  (carbohydrates) 
and  the  fats.  The  principal  starchy  foods 
are  potatoes,  rice,  tapioca,  white  crackers, 
white  bread,  bananas,  cakes,  sugar  and  all 
forms  of  sweets.  The  main  fat  foods  are 
cream,  butter,  cocoa,  chocolate,  oil  and  the 
fat  of  meats. 

Since  the  human  machine  in  childhood 
must  be  kept  warm,  must  have  energy  for 
almost  constant  motion,  and  must  also  have 
building  material,  with  which  to  make  mus- 
cle, blood  and  bone,  it  is  clear  that  a  child 
fed  on  potatoes,  white  bread  and  sweets,  or 
a  child  fed  on  meat,  eggs  and  milk,  is  not,  in 
either  case,  well  nourished. 

But  there  is  still  another  class  of  foods, 
poor  in  building  materials  and  also  in 
warmth  and  energy,  but  rich  in  mineral  salts 
and  absolutely  necessary  to  keep  the  body  in 
good  running  order.     These  are  the  green 


34       Character  Training  in  Childhood 

vegetables  and  fruits  such  as  corn,  lima 
beans,  green  peas,  spinach,  string  beans, 
celery,  tomatoes,  onions,  apples,  pears, 
peaches,  berries,  etc. 

The  diet  of  every  child,  if  it  is  to  keep  well 
and  grow  as  it  should,  must  contain  these 
various  materials  and  the  family  table  should 
be  so  planned  as  to  include  them  all. 

As  to  what  foods  to  avoid,  the  matter  may 
be  briefly  summed  up  by  saying  that  chil- 
dren should  be  given  only  plain,  nutritious, 
easily  digested  food.  This  rule  cuts  out  rich 
pastry,  fancy  dishes,  fried  food,  pickles,  too 
much  sweets,  and  all  tea  and  coffee.  Older 
stomachs  may  be  able  to  stand  such  diet,  but 
no  child's  digestion  should  have  such  a  strain 
put  upon  it. 

I  know  that  many  a  parent  will  point  out 
that  children  are  always  hungry,  and  that 
many  a  boy  or  girl  devours  candy  and  pickles 
between  meals  without  any  visible  bad  ef- 
fects. My  reply  is  that  evil  effects  will  show 
immediately  only  in  the  case  of  a  child  with 
an  already  weak  digestion.     Our  stomachs 


Proper  Nourishment  35 

are  amazingly  tough  and  usually  stand  a  long 
course  of  ill  treatment  before  objecting  so 
violently  that  we  notice  it.  I  have  in  mind 
a  friend  who,  as  a  child,  had  an  almost  per- 
fect digestion.  It  was  a  family  jest  that 
*'Ada  could  eat  nails  and  thrive  on  them." 
Ada,  presuming  on  this  fact,  ate  anything 
and  everything  at  all  hours  of  day  and  night, 
with  the  result  that  at  twenty  her  digestion 
was  seriously  impaired  and  at  forty  she  has 
to  be  very  careful  in  her  diet. 

Again  I  must  repeat  that  diet  is  not 
merely  a  matter  of  our  children's  bodies, — 
it  is  also  a  matter  of  their  characters.  It 
is  not  only  a  matter  of  their  physical  growth, 
but  of  their  spiritual  development. 

We  must  see,  and  make  our  children  see, 
that  food,  like  all  of  Nature's  gifts,  has  a 
double  purpose, — ^an  immediate  and  a  far-off 
one, — a  present  tickling  of  our  palate,  and 
a  future  building  up  of  our  bodily  strength. 
Both  purposes  are  right,  but  we  must  not 
set  one  against  the  other.  We  must  not 
gratify  our  sense  of  taste  at  the  expense  of 


36       Character  Training  in  Childhood 

our  bodily  strength.  The  child  must  not, 
for  instance,  drink  coffee  or  tea  because, 
though  they  ''taste  good,"  they  will  weaken, 
not  strengthen  his  body. 

Food  is  a  very  real  interest  in  the  life  of 
a  healthy  child.  I  am  not  pleading  for  any 
suppression  of  the  child's  frank  enjoyment 
thereof.  By  all  means  let  him  have  his  turn 
at  "choosing  dessert"  and  let  him,  as 
Stevenson  did,  count  food  among  his  daily 
pleasures  and  blessings.  But  even  a  little 
child  can  and  should  begin  to  realize  the 
meaning  of  the  words,  "Is  not  the  life  more 
than  meat?"  And  unless  he  does  begin  to 
learn,  in  childhood,  that  present,  momentary 
pleasure  is  worth  less  than  future,  perma- 
nent gain,  the  chances  are  that  he  may  learn 
it  too  late,  or  not  at  all. 


CLEANLINESS 

Among  the  health  habits  that  are  most  dif- 
ficult to  instil  into  children  none  is  more  baf- 
fling than  the  habit  of  cleanliness.  "Tom 
seems  to  love  dirt,"  wails  his  mother,  and  her 
plaint  is  echoed  by  every  mother  of  her  ac- 
quaintance. 

It  is  true  that  Tom's  begrimed  'appear- 
ance often  seems  to  warrant  his  mother's 
declaration  that  he  "loves  dirt,"  but  if  we 
take  "the  road  to  yesterday"  and  search  our 
own  childish  memories,  I  think  we  shall  free 
Tom  of  this  accusation. 

I  distinctly  recall — who  does  not? — ^being 
often  reproved  for  coming  to  table  with  un- 
washed hands.  Did  I  do  so  because  of  any 
special  liking  for  dirt  ?  Not  at  all.  My  un- 
washed hands  were  merely  a  result  of  three 
different  causes.  Firstly,  I  had  not,  from 
babyhood,  formed  the  habit  of  washing  be- 

37 


38       Character  Training  in  Childhood 

fore  meals,  so  that  it  was  a  distinct  effort  for 
me  to  remember  it.  Secondly,  hand-wash- 
ing was  a  dull,  uninteresting  performance 
which  stole  precious  moments  from  my  en- 
grossing paper  dolls.  Therefore  I  played 
until  the  last  moment  and,  fearing  a  reproof 
for  lateness  at  table,  went  thither  unwashed 
and  strove  to  hide  my  hands  beneath  the 
cloth.  Thirdly,  I  saw  no  especial  import- 
ance in  this  eternal  washing. 

Now  every  line  of  conduct  is  based  on  one 
of  these  three  motives,  which,  as  I  have  said, 
I  lacked.  Church-going,  for  instance,  is  due 
in  a  great  many  cases  to  hadit.  The  habit  is 
often  reinforced  by  a  realisation  of  the  im- 
portance of  church  going,  both  for  oneself 
and  for  the  community.  Thirdly,  church 
going  may  be  the  result  not  of  habit,  nor  of 
any  special  sense  of  its  importance,  but  be- 
cause the  service  or  the  minister  is  found  in- 
teresting. 

Let  us  apply  these  facts  to  the  problem  of 
Tom's  dirty  hands.  In  the  first  place, 
shocking  as  it  sounds,  there  are  compara- 


CLEANLINESS 

Ninety  per  cent  of  all  diseases 
are  due  io  some  lack  of 
cleanliness,  internal  or  external. 


Glean  Air  V 

Dusty  or  unaired 
rooms  are  a 


common  cause 


/eieanJFoodN 
and  Water 

Neiiher  should  be 
exposed  +0  diis-t, 
sects.or  bodily    i 


'Clo^^ed  pores  of 
the  skin  overwork 
other  organs  thai 
throw  off  waste.  / 


fAClean^^ 


i^estive  Tract  \ 

toother  with  a  clean   \ 
lifnouth.teeth  and  tonsils.N 
V  If.elimination  is 
V  insufficient  or  irregulac 
/A   disease  follows.      > 


/ 

Inielligence  brings 

^GOOD  luck:" 

in  health. 


Cleanliness  89 

tively  few  homes  where  cleanliness  is  made 
a  habit.  I  have  often  wondered  why  a 
mother  will  bathe  the  baby  daily  and  yet  con- 
sider a  weekly  or  bi-weekly  ''tub"  sufficient 
for  the  older  children  who  accumulate  more 
dirt  in  a  day  than  the  baby  does  in  a  week. 
The  fact  is  probably  not  that  she  thinks  the 
children  need  less  washing,  but  that  it  takes 
more  time  and  trouble  than  she  thinks  she 
can  spare  to  see  that  the  entire  brood  are 
bathed. 

There  is  no  doubt  that  it  does  take  a  little 
time  and  thought,  but  the  forming  of  a  life- 
long health  habit  is  surely  worth  it,  and  a 
child  who  has  formed  the  habit  of  daily  bath- 
ing and  of  washing  before  meals  will  not 
have  to  remember  to  do  so. 

As  I  said,  we  cannot  expect  the  child  to 
remember  to  do  anything  which  seems  to 
him  utterly  unimportant.  Therefore  we 
ought  to  explain  the  ''why"  of  hand- wash- 
ing. Tom  will  wash  much  more  willingly 
if  he  understands  that  dirt  often  contains 
germs  and  that  washing  is  a  real  protection 


40       Character  Training  in  Childhood 

against  eating  the  seeds  of  disease.  As  it 
is,  Tom  is  prone  to  consider  washing  before 
meals  an  unnecessary  bore  devised  by  grown- 
ups for  the  special  annoyance  of  boys. 

Thirdly,  Tom  must  somehow  be  given  a 
real  interest  in  hand-washing.  This  can  be 
done  in  a  variety  of  ways,  depending  on 
Tom's  age,  interests  and  the  other  circum- 
stances. Man}^  little  children  can  be  greatly 
interested  by  making  a  sort  of  story-game  of 
the  washing.  Instead  of  saying  to  the  six 
year  old,  "Oh  what  dreadful  hands!  Go 
wash  them  this  minute  1"  why  not  say,  ''Mis- 
tress Mary,  quite  contrary,  how  does  your 
garden  grow?"  Then  show  Mary  the  ten 
rosy  nails  that  should  be  oval  like  bells,  and 
the  ten  knuckles  that  stand  for  the  "cockle- 
shells" and  the  ten  slim  fingers  that  stand 
like  "pretty  maids  all  in  a  row,"  and  exclaim 
in  dismay  over  the  untidy  ' '  garden. ' '  Mary 
will  be,  if  she  is  like  most  children,  eager 
to  polish  the  bells,  clean  the  cockle  shells  and 
wash  the  faces  of  the  pretty  maidens.  And 
next  time  the  mere  inquiry,  "How  does  your 


Cleanliness  41 

garden  grow?"  will  be  likely  to  send  her, 
with  a  smiling  face,  to  the  wash-basin. 

If,  instead  of  six  year  old  Mary,  you  have 
ten  year  old  Tom  to  deal  with,  why  not  en- 
list him  in  the  "Modern  Health  Crusade"? 

This  movement  for  interesting  children  in 
the  formation  of  health  habits  is  based  on 
child  psychology  and  has  been  enormously 
successful  in  enlisting  the  enthusiasm  of  its 
young  members.  The  children  by  constant 
repetition  form  the  habits  of  cleanliness, 
good  posture,  tooth-brushing,  etc.  They  are 
taught  the  importance  of  these  habits  as  the 
necessary  basis  of  health  and  self-respect 
and  lastly, — but  really  the  most  important 
of  all, — they  are  interested  in  health,  because 
it  is  made  an  imaginative  crusade,  an  in- 
spiring contest,  in  which  all  join,  for  these 
older  children  have  reached  the  stage  where 
they  enjoy  team-games,  clubs  and  all  forms 
of  joint  work  and  play. 

We  must  never  forget  that  health  is  from 
within.  Compare  two  mothers,  both  equally 
eager  for  the  health  of  their  children.    Mrs. 


42       Character  Training  in  Childhood 

A.  surrounds  her  children  with  every  care, 
giving  them  carefully  selected  food,  sending 
them  to  bed  early,  keeping  her  home  clean 
and  well  ventilated,  bathing  the  small  ones 
and  seeing  that  the  older  ones  bathe  them- 
selves regularly  and  often.  Her  babies  will 
probably  be  healthy,  but  her  older  children, 
never  having  been  told  the  "why"  of  all  these 
health  regulations,  are  likely  to  regard  them 
as  a  nuisance.  They  will,  in  all  likelihood, 
eat  between  meals  on  the  sly,  lie  awake  to 
read  a  surreptitious  story-book  and  do  no 
more  bathing  than  is  necessary  to  pass  in- 
spection. 

Mrs.  B.,  like  Mrs.  A.,  gives  her  children 
good  surroundings  and  care,  but  she  also 
explains  the  need  of  care  for  one's  health 
and  makes  keeping  healthy  and  strong  a 
jolly,  delightful  game,  from  the  baby  who 
plays  "ducky  daddies"  in  his  bath,  to  the 
older  ones  who  have  tooth-brush  drills  and 
are  much  excited  over  their  height  and 
weight  records  and  the  doing  of  their  Health 
Crusade  "chores." 


Cleanliness  43 

The  difference  between  these  two  moth- 
ers is  that  the  first  is  working  from  without, 
trying  to  plaster  health  onto  her  children, 
as  it  were,  while  the  second  mother  is  trying 
to  encourage  the  spirit  of  health.  The  first 
is  trying  to  remove  dirt  and  the  second  is 
endeavoring  to  foster  cleanliness. 

The  latter  method  is  the  only  one  that  can 
ever  have  a  lasting  effect,  for  in  health  mat- 
ters, as  in  all  else,  growth  cannot  be  forced 
from  without, — it  must  be  fostered  from 
within. 


II 

EARLY  HABIT  FORMING 


BEGIN  IN  BABYHOOD 

Thus  far  we  have  spoken  only  of  the  phys- 
ical habits  which  make  for  health  and  form 
the  strong  physical  basis  of  a  strong  char- 
acter. 

When  shall  we  begin  the  actual  moral 
training  of  our  children?  How  early  shall 
we  start  to  guide  and  develop  their  char- 
acters ? 

To  this  query  I  have  heard  many  a  fond 
parent  reply,  *'0h,  I  can't  bear  the  thought 
of  punishing  baby.  I  don't  believe  in  disci- 
plining children  until  they  are  old  enough 
to  understand." 

But  discipline  does  not  mean  punishment, 
although  wise  punishment  may  at  times  be  a 
useful  form  of  discipline.  The  word  ' '  disci- 
pline" is  formed  from  a  Latin  word  mean- 
ing *'to  learn,"  and  discipline,  conscious  or 
unconscious,  begins  for  each  of  us  when  life 

47 


48       Character  Training  in  Childhood 

itself  begins,  for  the  beginning  of  life 
means  the  beginning  of  learning. 

As  for  baby's  being  "too  young  to  under- 
stand, ' '  that  depends  upon  what  it  is  that  you 
wish  him  to  understand.  A  child,  even  at 
six  years  of  age,  is  too  young  to  understand 
an  abstract  sermon  on  self-control,  but  even 
at  six  months,  he  is  quite  old  enough  to  un- 
derstand that  he  will  gain  more  by  self  con- 
trol than  by  screaming.  It  is  quite  true  that 
small  children  do  not  understand  theories 
and  long  explanations  and  arguments,  but 
they  do  understand  results. 

Everyone  who  has  ever  trained  a  dog 
knows  that  his  education  in  honesty,  obedi- 
ence and  general  good  behavior  must  begin 
in  his  early  puppyhood.  No  one  dreams  of 
postponing  his  training  until  he  is  ''old 
enough  to  understand,"  for  the  trainer 
knows  that  the  basis  of  dog-education  is  to 
make  the  dog  understand. 

Just  so  it  is  our  business  to  make  the  in- 
fant understand  that  smiles  bring  attention 
but  that  screams  result  in  solitude. 


BEGIN  IN  BABYHOOD 

"We  must  be^in  not  with  the  adults 
whose  habits  and  ideals  are  set,  but 
with  children  who  are  still  plastic. 
We  must  be^invvith  children  in  the 
home,  the  school,  the  street  and 
the  playground." 


To  guide  first  steps  rightly  is 
better  than  to  alter  false  steps  later. 


Begin  in  Babyhood  49 

A  dog  who  has  been  well  trained  in  puppy- 
hood  will,  when  older,  almost  never  need  any 
punishment  other  than  his  master's  reproof. 
Just  so  a  child  who,  in  the  animal  stage  of 
infancy,  has  formed  habits  of  good  temper 
and  self  control,  will,  when  older,  seldom 
need  other  punishment  than  his  mother's  sad 
face  and  words  of  reproach  and  disappoint- 
ment. 

But  if  all  discipline, — that  is  to  say,  all 
conscious  training  of  the  child's  character, 
— is  postponed  until  he  is  five  or  six  years 
old,  he  has  usually  developed  into  a  selfish 
little  animal  who  is  the  slave  of  his  own 
whims  and  upon  whom  his  mother's  sorrow- 
ful reproof  and  his  father's  arguments  have 
no  effect. 

I  very  vividly  recall  \dsiting  in  the  fam- 
ily of  a  small  girl  who  was  being  brought  up 
on  the  theory  that  she  must  understand  be- 
fore she  was  required  to  do  anything.  The 
family  would  be  sitting  on  the  piazza  reading 
aloud  when  Anna,  aged  four,  would  appear 
beating  on  a  tin  pan.     Her  mother  would 


50       Character  Training  in  Childhood 

smile  and  gently  say,  "Take  your  pan  over 
there  on  the  lawn,  darling,  so  we  can  read/' 

Anna  would  shake  her  head  and  continue 
drumming. 

Her  mother  would  repeat  her  request  and 
Anna  would  reply,  "No,  I  want  to  play 
here."  Then  would  follow  a  long  discourse 
by  Mother,  explaining  that  the  grown  peo- 
ple wanted  to  read,  that  Anna's  driun  pre- 
vented this,  and  that  she  was  sure  that  Anna 
wanted  to  be  a  good  girl  and  be  kind  to 
others. 

To  all  of  this  Anna  merely  repeated,  "But 
I  want  to  beat  my  drum  here."  And  so  she 
did,  w^hile  the  grownups  beat  a  retreat  into 
the  house,  leaving  her  in  possession  of  the 
field,  and  her  mother  apologetically  mur- 
mured, "She's  so  little  that  she  can't  really 
understand. ' ' 

I  agreed  that  Anna  did  not  understand 
her  patient  mother's  long  explanation,  but 
she  did  understand  just  one  thing  and  that 
was  that  she  could  treat  others  selfishly  and 
unjustly,  with  no  unpleasant  result  whatever 


Begin  in  Babyhood  51 

to  herself.  Her  patient,  conscientious,  gen- 
tle mother  was  actually  training  the  child 
in  selfishness,  even  while  she  urged  her  to  un- 
selfishness, for  I  repeat  that  small  children 
do  not  understand  talk,  they  understand  re- 
sults. They  will  learn  the  joy  of  service  by 
serving,  they  will  acquire  respect  for  others* 
rights  by  being  made  to  respect  those  rights 
and  by  having  their  own  rights  respected; 
but  they  will  never  learn  any  virtue  by  hear- 
ing it  talked  about. 

Therefore  I  repeat  that  we  must  begin  in 
earliest  infancy  to  train  our  children,  not  by 
constant  talking  and  nagging,  but  by  see- 
ing that  they  reap  the  fruits  of  their  actions. 
Later  in  life,  verbal  explanations  and  ex- 
hortations may  have  some  use,  but  not  yet. 

In  the  case  which  I  have  mentioned,  lit- 
tle Anna  should  have  been  pleasantly  in- 
formed that  she  must  either  beat  her  drum 
at  a  distance,  where  it  would  not  interfere 
with  others,  or  that  she  must  give  it  up  en- 
tirely. If  this  resulted  in  her  losing  her 
drum  until  she  was  willing  to  make  proper 


52       Character  Training  in  Childhood 

use  of  it,  she  would  immediately  have 
grasped  the  idea  that  selfish  disregard  of 
others'  rights  does  not  bring  pleasure  to  one- 
self. 

There  is  no  greater  tragedy,  to  me,  than 
that  of  a  '' spoiled"  child.  Fond  parents 
say,  *'0h,  well,  Tom  is  such  a  little  fellow. 
He'll  outgrow  his  naughtiness  as  soon  as  he 
is  old  enough  to  reason  with."  They  do  not 
seem  to  see  that  the  law  of  cause  and  effect  is 
reasoning  with  Tom  every  day  of  his  life, 
and  that  his  conduct  is  formed  according  to 
the  results  which  he  sees  it  produces  for  his 
comfort  or  discomfort. 

Put  yourself  in  Tom's  place.  If  by  kick- 
ing and  screaming  we  could  alter  the  laws 
of  our  universe,  which  of  us  would  not  yell 
his  loudest?  If  our  temper,  our  selfishness 
and  injustice  never  reacted  upon  our  own 
heads,  which  of  us  is  so  perfect  that  he  would 
always  be  gentle,  kind  and  just? 

Tom  is  but  human  in  taking  the  means 
which  bring  about  his  desired  end.  It  is 
our  business,  to  see  that  those  means,  do  not 


Begin  in  Babyhood  53 

bring  his  desired  end,  but  some  end  very  un- 
desirable to  him.  Tom  will  speedily  catch 
the  point  and  seek  to  win  his  happiness  in 
some  other  way. 

These  early  years,  from  birth  to  seven 
years  old,  are  the  most  important  ones  in  the 
child's  whole  life,  for  in  them  is  laid  the 
basis,  physical  and  moral,  of  what  the  future 
man  is  to  be.  The  brain  is  plastic,  just  as 
the  bones  are  soft.  The  soft  bones  may 
be  so  warped  that,  a  few  years  later,  the  bow- 
legs can  be  cured  only  by  a  cruel  breaking 
of  the  bones.  Just  so  the  baby  brain  may  ac- 
quire the  false  idea  that  selfishness,  temper 
and  other  ugly  traits  pat/,  and  in  later  years 
this  idea  can  be  altered  only  by  a  painful 
wrenching  and  breaking  process  that  means 
infinite  trouble  and  suffering  for  both  parent 
and  child. 

Let  us  have  done  with  this  nonsensical, 
wasteful  business  of  spoiling  our  babies  and 
then  unspoiUng  our  children.  Let's  begin 
where  Nature  begins,  at  the  beginning. 


ESTABLISH  EIGHT  HABITS 

One  vital  reason  for  beginning  to  train  a 
child  in  infancy  is  that  the  early  years  are 
the  habit-forming  years,  par  excellence.  As 
we  have  said,  in  infancy  and  early  childhood, 
the  brain  tissue,  like  all  other  bodily  tissues, 
is  plastic,  that  is  to  say,  impressions  are  eas- 
ily made,  are  deep,  and  therefore  the  char- 
acter is  given  a  "set"  that  can  be  changed 
later  only  with  great  difficulty  if  at  aU.  It 
is  as  if  we  were  modelling  wet  clay, — ^we 
must  handle  it  swiftly  and  give  it  the  form 
we  desire,  ere  it  becomes  "set"  and  the  time 
for  moulding  is  past. 

The  acts  which,  by  constant  repetition, 
have  become  habits  with  us  we  perform  eas- 
ily and  often  unconsciously.  That  is  why, 
as  we  said  in  discussing  cleanliness,  habit  is 
such  a  help,  such  a  saving  of  labor  and 
strain,  in  forming  character. 

A  young  woman  once  said  to  me,  "When 


54 


ESmBLISH  RIGHT  HABITS 

Habit  is  the  basis  of  character. 

Habit-forming  begins  at  birth. 

Therefore,  train  the  baby  in  right  habits. 


r'". 


Puiiing  things  away. 


Right  habits  are  unconsciously 
formed  by  continually 
repeated  right  action,  imitation 
of  right  example. 


Establish  Right  Habits  55 

I  was  little,  Mother  never  insisted  on  my  do- 
ing anything,  for  fear  of  weakening  my  will. 
So  she  would  always  explain  exactly  why  I 
ought  to  do  as  she  asked.  Of  course  that 
was  right,  but  I  was  so  little  that  I  didn't 
really  care  anything  about  reasons, — all  I 
thought  of  was  that  I  wanted  to  do  this  for- 
bidden thing,  or  not  to  do  this  other  thing 
that  Mother  was  talking  about.  So  I  would 
argue  and  argue  and  often  end  by  flatly  re- 
fusing. I  never  'gave  in'  without  endless 
argument  and  sulking,  even  when  I  was  old 
enough  to  know  that  Mother  was  right. 
You  see,  I  had  gotten  into  the  habit  of  argu- 
ing, and  to  this  day  I  have  the  greatest 
trouble  in  making  myself  do  what  I  know  is 
right.  My  old  habit  of  eternal  arguing  pre- 
vents my  ever  giving  in  cheerfully  and 
promptly.  Mother  meant  well,  but  oh  how 
much  trouble  she  would  have  spared  me  if 
only  she  had  trained  me  in  the  habit  of 
quickly  and  cheerfully  doing  what  I  knew 
was  right." 
Many    a    man    and    woman,    struggling 


56       Character  Training  in  Childhood 

against  a  bad  habit,  has  echoed  her  wish, 
''Oh  if  my  parents  had  only  taught  me  the 
habit  of  acting  differently!"  And  surely 
we  owe  this  much  to  our  children.  Since 
good  or  bad  habits  formed  in  early  child- 
hood, before  the  age  of  reason,  may  make  or 
mar  the  child's  whole  life,  surely  it  is  our 
duty  to  train  him  in  right  habits.  We  have 
no  right  to  let  him  form  habits  against 
which,  later  on,  he  may  struggle  in  vain. 
On  the  other  hand,  if  in  childhood,  he  forms 
habits  of  cheerfulness,  order,  industry,  un- 
selfishness and  truthfulness,  he  will  not  have 
an  uphill  struggle  to  acquire  these  habits 
after  the  habit-forming  years  are  past. 

Now  how  are  habits  formed  ? 

Habit-tracks,  if  we  may  coin  the  term, 
are  worn  in  the  brain  very  much  as  paths 
are  worn  across  a  grassy  meadow,  by  a  con- 
tinuous succession  of  travellers.  The  foot- 
steps of  the  first  traveller  lay  in  no  beaten 
path,  but  found  their  own  way  across  the  un- 
trodden meadow,  leaving  a  faint  track  be- 
hind.   As  each  successive  pedestrian  fol- 


Establish  Right  Habits  57 

lowed  this  same  path,  it  became  a  well  de- 
fined road,  for  each  found  it  natural  to  fol- 
low the  path  rather  than  to  make  a  new 
route  for  himself.  So  it  is  that  the  paved 
streets  of  Boston  are  said  to  follow  the 
winding  ways  taken  by  the  wandering  cows 
of  Boston's  early  history,  and  the  chance 
footsteps  of  a  grazing  animal  determined  the 
course  of  a  busy  city's  traffic. 

In  much  the  same  way,  successive  acts 
wear  a  pathway  through  our  brain  tissue. 
Perhaps  the  baby's  aimlessly  wandering 
thumb  finds  its  way  into  his  mouth  when  he 
is  laid  down  for  his  nap.  Next  day,  at  nap 
time,  the  thumb  is  likely  to  wander  again 
in  the  same  direction.  Each  time  is  easier 
than  the  last,  until  a  regular  habit  is  formed 
of  sucking  the  thumb  at  nap  time. 

How  shall  we  break  bad  habits  and  form 
good  ones? 

To  return  to  our  comparison  of  the  cow- 
path,  it  is  clear  that  the  only  way  to  restore 
the  grass  on  the  beaten  track  is  to  keep  the 
cows  off  until  the  grass  has  a  chance  to  grow 


58       Character  Training  in  Childhood 

up  and  obliterate  the  path.  Just  so  with  a 
habit,  the  only  way  to  break  it  is  simply  to 
put  up  the  bars,  if  possible, — to  turn  the  ac- 
tivities abruptly  and  entirely  in  some  other 
direction. 

Take  the  habit  of  thumb-sucking, — a  pe- 
culiarly hard  habit  to  break  because  the 
child  is  very  little  so  that  he  cannot  be  ex- 
pected to  make  any  effort  to  break  it,  and 
also  because  it  is  usually  done  without  any 
intention,  but  quite  unconsciously. 

The  only  way  that  I  know  of  to  break  this 
habit  is  simply  to  use  some  means  of  making 
it  impossible  for  the  thumb  to  enter  the 
mouth.  There  are  various  ways  of  doing 
this,  such  as  pinning  the  sleeves  to  the  mat- 
tress, wearing  mittens,  etc.,  but  I  think  the 
best  device  is  a  sort  of  perforated  aluminum 
ball  which  can  be  bought  at  any  large  store 
and  which  fits  over  the  baby's  hand.  It  is 
light  and  comfortable  but  so  large  that  it  is 
quite  impossible  for  it  to  go  into  the  baby's 
mouth.  Its  use  is  likely  to  cause  rebellion 
at  first,  but  the  habit  will  speedily  be  for- 


Estahiish  Right  Habits  59 

gotten  and  the  baby's  mouth  saved  from  dis- 
figurement, and  possible  adenoids. 

This  hard  and  fast  method  is  the  only  sure 
way  of  breaking  a  bad  habit  or  of  forming 
a  good  one.  We  know  that  if  only  one  per- 
son per  week  treads  a  path,  the  grass  will 
begin  to  grow  in  it  and  it  will  not  be  kept 
open.  Just  so,  if  little  Mary  is  put  to  bed 
at  six  o'clock  several  nights  in  the  week,  but 
on  the  other  nights  is  allowed  to  remain  up 
until  seven  or  later  because  she  cries, 
she  will  never  form  the  habit  of  going 
happily  to  bed  at  a  fixed  hour.  If  John, 
whenever  his  mother  thinks  of  it,  is  required 
to  put  away  his  toys  at  night,  but  is  allowed 
frequently  to  leave  them  for  his  nurse  to 
clear  away,  John  will  not  form  the  habit  of 
orderliness. 

The  secret,  as  William  James  says,  of 
forming  or  breaking  a  habit  is  never  to  al- 
low an  exception,  but  to  do,  or  not  do  the 
desirable  or  undesirable  thing  every  time. 

In  his  delightful  chapter  on  Habit,  James 
recalls  Rip  Van  Winkle's  reiterated  excuse 


60       Character  Training  in  Childhood 

for  drinking,  "Just  one  glass.  I  won't 
count  this  time,"  and  he  continues,  ''Well! 
he  may  not  count  it,  and  a  kind  Heaven 
may  not  count  it;  but  it  is  being  counted 
none  the  less.  Down  among  his  nerve-cells 
and  fibres  the  molecules  are  counting  it,  reg- 
istering and  storing  it  up  to  be  used  against 
him  when  the  next  temptation  comes." 

It  is  far,  far  easier  to  form  good  habits 
than  to  break  bad  ones.  Therefore  our  ef- 
forts should  be  directed  not  merely  to  check- 
ing wrong  tendencies,  but  to  fostering  right 
ones.  It  may  be  necessary  sometimes  to  say 
"don't,"  but  whenever  possible,  we  should 
say  "do"  instead.  We  should  aim  to 
"crowd  out"  bad  habits  by  developing  good 
habits  opposed  to  them. 

For  instance,  Mrs.  Y  's  little  Robert  had  a 
habit  of  snatching  from  his  playmates  any- 
thing he  wanted.  For  a  time  she  merely  in- 
sisted on  his  restoring  the  snatched  toy,  but 
his  progress  in  overcoming  the  habit  was 
slow.  She  therefore  drew  Eobert  to  her  one 
day  and  said, ' '  This  afternoon  Hugh  is  com- 


Establish  Right  Habits  61 

ing  over  to  visit  us,  with  his  mother.  I  am 
going  to  get  out  some  of  my  pretty  china  to 
show  her,  and  what  do  you  think  Hugh 
would  like  to  play  with?  Let's  both  see 
how  happy  we  can  make  our  company  and 
how  nice  we  can  be  to  them." 

So  the  toys  were  attractively  arranged  for 
Hugh  to  take  his  choice  and  all  the  after- 
noon Mrs.  Y.,  who  had  whispered  a  hint  in 
her  friend's  ear,  was  especially  gracious  and 
attentive  to  Hugh's  mother  and  made  a 
special  point  of  seeing  that  Robert  offered 
each  toy  to  his  guest  and  played  the  host 
kindly  and  thoroughly  in  every  detail. 

When  Hugh  was  leaving,  his  mother  said, 
**How  very  kind  you  and  Robert  have  been. 
Hugh  and  I  have  had  a  beautiful  visit." 

Of  course  Robert  did  not  acquire  the  habit 
of  courtesy  all  in  one  afternoon,  but,  little 
by  little,  as  by  his  mother's  example  and  co- 
operation, he  learned  the  pleasure  of  being 
courteous,  the  ugly  trick  of  snatching  had  to 
be  corrected  less  and  less  often  and  was 
crowded  out  by  the  spirit  of  courtesy. 


62       Character  Training  in  Childhood 

As  we  have  said  before,  children  learn 
practically  nothing  from  talking,  a  great 
deal  from  example,  and  most  of  all  from 
doing.  As  Shakspere  says,  '*How  use  doth 
breed  a  habit  in  a  man!"  It  is  every  par- 
ent's business  to  see  that  by  becoming  used  to 
courtesy,  order,  truth,  industry  and  all  other 
fine  qualities,  the  little  child  shall  form  the 
liahits  of  being  courteous,  orderly,  truthful 
and  helpful.  A  wise  man  once  said,  '*We 
first  make  our  habits  and  then  they  make 


us.'' 


DIRECT  THE  WILL 

There  is  probably  no  subject  upon  which 
there  is  more  general  confusion  of  mind  than 
the  Will  and  how  it  can  best  be  trained. 
Nine  people  out  of  ten  mistake  obstinacy 
for  will  power,  whereas  obstinacy  is  often 
the  sign  of  a  weak  will.  As  someone  has 
wittily  remarked,  obstinacy  is  due  not  to 
will-power,  but  to  ''won't-power." 

The  word  "obstinate"  is  derived  from  two 
Latin  words  meaning  "to  stand  against," 
and  that  is  just  what  the  obstinate  person 
does.  He  does  not  push  forward  and  exert 
his  will,  he  stands,  unable  to  budge,  even 
when  he  secretly  longs  to  do  so  and  knows 
that  he  ought.  He  is  not  the  master  of  a 
strong  will,  but  the  victim  of  a  weak  one. 

In  an  institution  for  colored  children  I 
was  once  called  upon  to  deal  with  a  refrac- 
tory child.  Julia  was  about  eleven  years 
old,   rather  dull   and  without   any  of  the 

63 


64       Character  Training  in  Childhood 

powers  of  energy,  perseverance  and  leader- 
ship which,  mark  the  strong  will.  She  had 
been  engaged  in  some  wilful  naughtiness 
which  had  resulted  in  her  being  sent  to  me. 
I  talked  with  her  for  some  time,  trying  to 
get  her  point  of  view,  but  could  elicit  no 
answer  whatever.  She  simply  sat  like  a 
little  black  thunder-cloud,  brow  wrinkled, 
lips  pouting,  refusing  to  speak,  even  in  an- 
swer to  my  request  for  her  explanation  of 
her  conduct. 

I  finally  told  her  that  since  she  chose  to 
act  like  a  baby,  I  should  have  to  send  her  up 
to  the  babies'  dormitory  to  sleep.  No  an- 
swer except  the  deepening  of  her  scowl. 
She  flatly  refused  to  go  upstairs,  saying  not 
a  word  but  remaining  rooted  to  her  chair. 
As  I  could  not  have  dragged  her  upstairs, 
even  if  I  had  wished  to  do  so,  I  led  her,  kick- 
ing and  struggling  into  a  small,  but  light 
and  airy  room  adjoining  my  own  room  and 
locked  her  in.  At  frequent  intervals  dur- 
ing the  afternoon  and  evening,  I  went  to  her 
door  to  inquire  whether  she  would  like  to 


DIRECT  THE  WILL 

The  will  should  not  be  repressed 
hut  stimulaLted 
<xnd  guided 


Overcome  stubbornness 

ty  suggestion 

*  The  dehberAte  I  will  is  the  basis 
ofixiYiAns  character  and  the 
I  will  of  the  crises  in  life 
is  being  made  by  the  I  will' 
of  each  day. 


Direct  the  Will  65 

come  out  and  was  ready  to  go  upstairs. 
Every  inquiry  was  greeted  with  silence. 
Finally,  at  ten  o'clock  (she  had  been  alone 
for  six  hours)  I  said,  "Julia,  I  am  very  tired 
and  am  going  to  bed.  Are  you  going  to  sleep 
on  the  floor  in  there,  or  upstairs'?" 

A  very  small  and  gentle  voice  replied,  "I 
want  to  come  out  and  sleep  upstairs."  As 
we  walked  upstairs  together,  Julia's  arm 
stole  around  my  waist  and  her  lips  were 
raised  for  the  goodnight  kiss  of  peace  and 
restored  happiness.  She  slept  happily  in 
the  nursery,  was  returned  to  her  own  cottage 
next  day  and  never  again,  in  her  relations 
T\ith  me,  fell  a  victim  to  her  own  perverted 
will. 

Did  I  ''weaken"  Julia's  will?  Quite  the 
contrary.  She  had  wanted  to  do  right  all 
along,  but  her  will  was  thwarted  by  an  inner 
check  so  strong  that  she  was  powerless.  She 
could  not  throw  off  the  evil  spell  until,  at 
last,  her  real  will  asserted  itself  and  she  did 
w^hat  she  had  wanted  to  do  from  the  first  and 
was  happy  and  reconciled. 


6Q       Character  Training  in  Childhood 

Many  and  many  a  time,  especially  among 
colored  children,  I  have  seen  a  child  sulky, 
unhappy  and  stubborn,  unable  to  rouse  his 
will  and  shake  off  the  chain  of  obstinacy. 

In  extreme  cases  such  as  Julia's  there 
seems  to  me  to  be  no  way  except  to  wait 
until  the  fit  wears  off,  always  seeing  that  the 
child  gains  nothing  hy  Ids  obstinacy.  In  the 
course  of  time,  the  most  stubborn  child  will 
see  that  obstinacy  merely  makes  him  un- 
happy and  does  not  carry  his  point. 

With  almost  all  small  children,  however, 
the  matter  of  obstinacy  ought  not  to  have  to 
come  to  a  "show  down,"  such  as  I  have  de- 
scribed. An  ounce  of  preventive  tact  is 
worth  a  j)ound  of  dictatorial  command. 

Imagine  yourself  deeply  engrossed  in  a 
fascinating  piece  of  work.  Suddenly  a 
sharj)  voice  cries,  "It's  bedtime.  Put  those 
toys  down  at  once  and  go  upstairs!" 

You  plead  for  a  moment  or  two  more,  so 
that  you  may  finish  your  work.  The  voice, 
sharper  than  ever,  replies,  "Did  you  hear 


Direct  the  Will  67 

what  I  said?  Go  at  once!  I  won't  have 
you  disobeying  me ! ' ' 

Being  merely  himian,  you  probably  set 
your  jaw  and  determine  to  finish  your  work 
anyliow,  and  are  summarily  hauled  off,  kick- 
ing and  struggling,  the  victim  of  sui)erior 
force. 

Now  this  distressing  scene  could  just  as 
easily  have  been  avoided  as  not.  Suppose 
the  voice  had  said,  "In  just  five  more  min- 
utes it's  going  to  be  bedtime,  so  begin  to  get 
ready,  dear."  Then,  five  minutes  later 
Mother  had  called  "All  aboard  for  Bedville! 
Get  your  tickets,  ladies  and  gentlemen, 
you've  just  time  to  catch  the  train!" 

"With  such  a  jovial  suggestion,  who  would 
not  join  in  the  game,  take  the  bit  of  news- 
paper representing  the  "ticket"  and  canter 
upstairs  cheerfully? 

If  our  children  are  stubborn,  it  is  usually 
because  ive  are  somehow  at  fault.  In  the 
case  of  Julia,  she  had,  from  infancy,  been 
allowed  to  sulk  and  knew  from  experience 


68       Character  Training  in  Childhood 

that  if  she  ''stood  out"  long  enough  she 
could  exhaust  the  patience  of  the  grown-ups 
and  follow  her  own  whims. 

As  I  have  intimated,  with  many  children 
obstinacy  is  the  result  of  the  inconsistency 
and  unreasonableness  of  their  elders.  We 
have  no  right  to  call  a  child  from  some  en- 
grossing pleasure,  summoning  him  sharply 
and  unsympathetically,  and  expect  him  to 
drop  his  task  instantly  and  be  all  eagerness 
and  cheerfulness  in  obeying  our  commands. 

Nor  have  we  any  right  to  allow  or  deny 
pleasures  according  to  the  whim  of  the  mo- 
ment. Any  intelligent  child  knows  per- 
fectly well  whether  you  are  denying  him  be- 
cause you  really  feel  that  it  is  right,  or 
whether  you  are  denying  merely  for  your 
own  convenience. 

Nor  can  we  expect  a  child  to  be  reasonable 
when  we  ourselves  are  inconsistent  and  for- 
getful. 

Consider  a  moment  the  forgetful,  absent- 
minded  mother.  My  neighbor  Mrs.  L.  sits 
sewing   and   talking  with  me  while  little 


Direct  the  Will  69 

George,  aged  four,  sits  on  the  floor  scribbling 
on  some  blank  paper.  Presently  George,  in 
search  of  fresh  material,  starts  to  scribble  on 
a  book  lying  on  the  table.  Mrs.  L.  shakes 
her  head,  '*No,  dear,  don't  spoil  the  book. 
Turn  your  paper  over  and  draw  on  the  other 
side  of  that." 

For  a  few  moments,  George  does  so,  then 
he  begins  again  to  scribble  on  the  book  cover. 
Mrs.  L.,  deeply  interested  in  her  conversa- 
tion, is  utterly  oblivious  for  some  time.  At 
last  she  wakes  up,  exclaiming,  '^Georgie, 
Mother  told  you  not  to  do  that.  If  you  spoil 
the  books,  I'll  have  to  take  away  the  pencil." 

Thus  reproved,  George  subsides  peace- 
fully into  harmless  drawing  on  the  paper, 
but  soon  finds  it  tedious  and  again,  with  a 
side  glance  at  Mother,  starts  outlining  the  in- 
teresting pattern  on  the  book  with  his  pencil. 
He  continues  undisturbed  until  his  mother, 
rising  to  leave,  suddenly  discovers  the  mutil- 
ated book.  ''Did  you  ever  see  such  an  ob- 
stinate child!"  she  exclaims  to  me.  "He  is 
simply  determined  to  have  his  own  way." 


70       Character  Training  in  Childhood 

Now  George  is  really  not  a  strong  willed 
child  at  all.  He  is  rather  a  listless,  dreamy 
child,  absent-minded  like  his  mother.  He 
did  not  have  any  passion  for  scribbling  on 
the  book,  nor  did  he  consciously  determine 
to  have  his  own  way.  He  was  bored,  found 
drawing  on  plain  paper  monotonous  and 
could  think  of  nothing  more  amusing  than 
to  scribble  on  the  first  thing  that  came  to 
hand.  He  knew  from  experience  that  his 
mother's  "don't"  meant  nothing  whatever 
and  consequently  he  continued  idly  and 
thoughtlessly  to  do  what  she  forbade. 

No,  the  will  is  not  trained  by  allowing  a 
child  to  follow  his  own  whims  or  to  be  the 
slave  of  his  own  obstinacy.  It  is  developed 
by  justice,  consistency  and  sympathetic  tact 
on  the  parent's  part  and  by  letting  the  child 
think  for  himself,  decide,  plan  and  act  for 
himself,  just  as  far  as  his  age  will  permit. 

I  recall  when  a  child  my  keen  enjoyment 
in  being  allowed  to  select  the  "company" 
china  which  should  be  used  for  the  Thanks- 
giving dinner  table.    It  was  a  delightful  re- 


Direct  the  Will  71 

sponsibility.  The  exciting  task  of  bu}dng 
ten  and  fifteen  cent  presents  for  all  the 
family  at  Christmas  was  another  cause  of 
endless  thought  and  careful  decision.  And 
whenever  there  was  any  festivity  or  family 
plan  afoot,  we  children  were  allowed  to  join 
in  the  preliminary  planning  and  even  al- 
lowed to  cast  the  deciding  vote  as  to  whether 
we  should  picnic  at  the  beach  or  in  the  park. 
We  knew  that  no  one's  selfish  whims  had 
any  consideration  whatever,  but  that  our 
wishes  and  opinions  would  receive  respectful 
weight  in  the  family  councils. 

And  we  were  helped  to  that  best  of  all 
will-tonics,  the  habit  of  success.  There  is 
nothing  that  hampers  the  will  more  than  the 
memory  of  failures  and  the  expectation  of 
more  failures. 

The  boy,  all  afire  with  a  brand-new  scheme, 
will  rush  in  exclaiming,  "We  fellers  are 
going  to  give  a  circus  and  spend  the  money 
on  buying  baseball  togs.  It's  going  to  be 
grand ! ' ' 

If  his  mother  looks  up  languidly  and  says, 


72       Character  Training  in  Childhood 

"Oh  dear,  Willie,  I  wish  you  wouldn't  shout 
so.  Now  go  upstairs  and  wash  for  supper," 
while  his  father  merely  grunts,  ''Circus! 
Who  do  you  think  will  want  to  watch  you 
kids  play  circus?  You'd  better  spend  some 
time  on  your  geography,  instead  of  learning 
circus  stunts," — if,  I  say,  Willie's  wonder- 
ful idea  is  thus  cold-watered,  he  will,  as  the 
years  go  by,  get  to  saying,  "What's  the 
use?"  And  the  boy  who  forms  the  habit  of 
saying  and  feeling  that,  has  buried  his  will 
power  so  deep  that  it  is  likely  never  to  rise 
again. 

How  well  I  remember  the  "tragedy" 
which  my  sister  and  I  once  composed  and 
solemnly  acted  before  the  grown  folks.  We 
were  treated  with  as  much  respect  and  our 
efforts  furthered  as  kindly  as  if  we  had  been 
professionals.  We  were  allowed  to  rum- 
mage through  old  trunks  for  costumes  and 
"properties,"  were  given  shawls  to  use  for 
curtains  and  were  assisted  in  learning  our 
lines.  At  the  final  grand  performance,  the 
grown-ups  capped  the  climax  of  their  kind- 


Direct  the  Will  73 

ness  by  listening  with  perfect  gravity  to  our 
comic  tragedy. 

The  result  was  that  we  were  tremendously 
exhilarated.  We  were  not  hampered  by  a 
sense  of  futility.     Our  wills  were  set  free. 

This,  I  believe,  is  the  secret  of  will-devel- 
opment,— ^not  .to  let  the  child  remain  the 
slave  of  his  whims,  as  the  "disobedient" 
child  usually  is, — but  so  to  encourage,  aid 
and  inspire  him  that  he  shall  form  the  habit 
of  successfully  carrying  out  his  real  wishes. 
Thus  his  will  is  set  free,  both  from  his  own 
obstinacy  and  from  the  discouraging  checks 
caused  by  repeated  failures,  for  the  freeing 
of  the  will  is  nothing  but  the  freeing  of  the 
soul,  that  it  may  triumph  over  its  own  lesser 
nature  and  over  outer  circumstances. 


CONTROL  THE  EMOTIONS 

As  habit  and  will  power  form  the  basis  of 
conduct  and  character,  so  what  we  call  tem- 
perament, or  personality,  depends  upon  the 
emotions.  When  we  touch  a  man's  feelings, 
emotions  and  desires,  we  touch  the  man  him- 
self. Not  as  a  man  thinketh  in  his  mind,  but 
''As  a  man  thinketh  in  his  heart,  so  is  he." 

Now,  what  part  do  we  want  emotion  to 
play  in  the  lives  of  our  children  % 

There  is  perhaps  no  more  vital  question  in 
the  whole  range  of  education.  A  man's 
emotional  life  is  a  very  fire  within  him,  and 
fire  may  be  the  motive  force  which  drives  the 
ship  to  its  happy  haven,  or  the  raging  demon 
which  lays  waste  the  homes  and  harvests  of 
men.  It  is  simply  a  question  of  use  and  con- 
trol. 

Children  vary  very  greatly  in  the  strength 
of  their  emotions,  in  the  degree  to  which 
their  emotions  show  on  the  surface,  and  in 

74 


tXMROL  THE  EMOTIONS 

Emotion,  like  fire,  is 

"a  good  servant, 
but  a  bad  master." 


He"waniswhat  he  wants  when  he  wants  ii" 

Lead  the  child  to  want  the  right 
thing  at  the  right  time. and  show 
him  how  to  get  it  in  the  right  way. 

Desires  and  emotions  are 
the  mainsprings  of  life. 


Control  the  Emotions  75 

the  extent  to  wliich  tliey  consciously  control 
their  emotions. 

People  may  be  roughly  divided  into  three 
types,  the  unemotional,  stolid  type ;  the  emo- 
tional, excitable,  "gushing"  type;  and  the 
emotional  but  controlled  type.  We  cannot 
help  our  children  to  the  right  sort  of  emo- 
tional life  unless  we  first  understand  to 
which  type  they  belong. 

Unemotional  natures  are  usually  even- 
tempered,  practical,  reliable  and  thorough, 
but  they  lack  imagination,  quick  sympathy 
and  high  idealism. 

Very  emotional  natures  are  imaginative, 
sympathetic,  and  often  extremely  idealistic, 
but  they  are  prone  to  anger,  impracticality, 
unreliability,  impatience  and  the  sort  of 
selfishness  which  springs  from  too  much  self 
analysis. 

The  controlled,  but  emotional  nature  is  a 
happy  combination  of  the  steadiness  and 
strength  of  the  stolid  man  and  the  imagina- 
tion and  quick  sympathy  of  the  emotional 
one. 


76       Character  Training  in  Childhood 

It  is  only  tlie  rare  individual  who  is  so 
fortunate  as  to  be  })orn  into  this  third  type. 
Most  of  us  acquire  it  only  with  long  effort  if 
at  all,  but  it  is  an  ideal  worth  striving  for, 
for  reliability  without  emotion  makes  a  man 
stolid,  while  emotion  without  reliability 
makes  him  shallow  and  fickle. 

Suppose  we  have  to  deal  with  a  stolid 
child,  such  as  little  Franz  K.,  who  is  slow  in 
thought  and  action,  strong  willed,  and  much 
wrapped  up  in  his  own  little  circle  of  life, 
with  little  interest  in  others  and  seldom 
showing  any  keen  emotion. 

Franz  needs  to  be  "waked  up,''  stimu- 
lated, given  new  and  varied  experiences. 
He  actually  needs  an  amount  of  excitement 
that  would  ruin  an  emotional,  nervous  child. 
He  should  be  sent  to  Kindergarten,  thrown 
constantly  with  other  children,  given  pets, 
shown  pictures,  fed  on  fairy  tales,  taught  to 
dance  and  sing,  especially  in  company  with 
others.  For  such  a  child  it  is  ruinous  to  be 
left  to  vegetate  in  a  placid  household  of 
matter-of-fact  adults,  where  life  flows  along 


Control  the  Emotions  77 

in  an  uneventful  stream.  He  should  have 
"something  doing"  constantly.  His  eyes 
and  ears  should  be  subjected  to  a  succession 
of  new  sights  and  sounds.  This  continued 
stimulus  to  his  nerves  will  gradually  stimu- 
late his  brain  and  shake  it  into  a  more  lively, 
impressionable,  responsive  state.  He  will 
probably  always  remain  "one  of  the  quiet 
sort, ' '  but  he  will  no  longer  be  stolid,  unsym- 
pathetic and  devoid  of  imagination. 

A  more  usual  type  among  American  chil- 
dren is  the  emotionally  uncontrolled  child, 
such  as  Betty  L.  Betty  is  always  in  motion. 
She  loves  gaiety,  excitement  and  pleasure. 
She  is  full  of  short-lived  enthusiasms,  alter- 
nating with  equally  brief  fits  of  the  "blues." 
She  is  not  stubborn,  but  capriciously  wilful, 
— angry  at  being  crossed,  but  ready  to  throw 
her  arms  about  her  mother's  neck  the  next 
moment.  She  loves  company  and  everyone 
"takes  to  her,"  for  she  is  sympathetic  and 
ready  to  show  affection  to  everyone,  but  she 
is  inconstant  and  unreliable.  She  is  quick, 
clever,  artistic,  but  unwilling  to  apply  her- 


78       Character  Training  in  Childhood 

self  or  to  carry  through  any  uncongenial 
task. 

Betty  is  the  result  of  giving  a  naturally 
emotional  temperament  too  much  stimulus 
and  too  little  control.  Her  parents'  con- 
stant travelling  has  caused  her  to  attend  first 
one  school  and  then  another,  so  that  she 
could  never  ''take  root"  anywhere,  but  no 
sooner  began  to  form  friendships  than  she 
was  wrenched  away  from  them.  This  con- 
tinual moving  also  robbed  her  of  concentra- 
tion mentally,  for  her  studies  were  inter- 
rupted and  she  never  followed  any  course  of 
instruction  through  to  the  end.  Even  as  a 
baby,  she  lacked  that  regular,  peaceful  rou- 
tine which  would  have  calmed  her  nerves  and 
given  her  poise  and  strength. 

An  emotional,  excitable  child  like  Betty 
needs  exactly  opposite  treatment  from 
Franz.  Instead  of  constant  companionship, 
she  needs  a  certain  amount  of  solitude  and 
quiet  play  with  a  few  friends.  Instead  of 
being  ' '  shown  off, ' '  she  should  be  kindly  but 
firmly  kept  in  the  background.     Her  imag- 


Control  the  Emotions  79 

ination  and  love  of  beauty  should  be  fed  but 
not  over  stimulated ;  that  is,  she  should  enjoy 
a  few  simple  and  beautiful  things,  rather 
than  be  allowed  to  flit  from  one  enjoy- 
ment to  another.  The  keynote  of  her  life 
should  be  regular  habits,  physical  and 
mental,  the  enjoyment  of  continuous  friend- 
ships with  a  rather  small  circle,  and  above 
all,  training  in  service  of  others. 

The  emotional  child  especially  needs 
training  in  service,  because,  as  James  points 
out,  emotion  that  "evaporates"  without  re- 
sulting in  action  is  a  weakening  form  of 
mere  self-indulgence.  Therefore  the  emo- 
tional little  Betties  should  be  given  responsi- 
bility and  every  opportunity  of  thinking  and 
working  for  others. 

Betty  is  fond  of  pets.  Very  well,  by  all 
means  let  her  have  pets,  but  let  her  bear  the 
responsibility  for  their  care,  feeding  and  ex- 
ercise. If  she  flings  her  arms  around 
Rover's  neck  and  calls  him  her  "darling 
doggie,"  but  cannot  remember  to  feed  him 
and  see  to  his  comfort,  her  love  is  a  mere 


80       Character  Training  in  Childhood 

sentimental  weakness.  If  she  constantly 
kisses  and  caresses  her  family,  do  not  repress 
her,  but  see  that  her  affection  is  proved  by 
her  willingness  to  be  helpful  and  unselfish. 

The  emotional  nature  is  typified  by  the 
story  of  the  Eussian  Countess  who  wept  over 
the  mimic  sorrows  of  a  stage  heroine,  while 
her  own  coachman  froze  to  death  waiting  for 
her  outside  the  theater.  Just  so  the  emo- 
tional child  whose  emotion  is  never  tested 
and  crystallized  into  action  will  become  the 
man  or  woman  who  is  "so  warm-hearted'* 
but  thoroughly  selfish,  "so  sjrmpathetic, " 
but  never  ready  to  give  any  real  help,  "so 
enthusiastic,"  but  never  on  hand  to  put  a 
shoulder  to  the  wheel  and  work  for  any 
needy  cause. 

Yet  the  emotional  child,  through  a  regular, 
well-organized  childhood,  where  emotion  is 
transmuted  into  noble  action,  will  become  the 
finest  type  of  manhood  or  womanhood, 
keenly  sympathetic  and  helpful,  imagina- 
tive, creative, — truly  the  savior  of  a  worka- 
day, colorless  world. 


Control  the  Emotions  81 

It  is  so  easy,  with  the  emotional  child,  to 
make  the  emotional  appeal,  that  a  word  of 
warning  must  be  sounded.  An  emotional 
child  will  respond  very  quickly  to  the  plea, 
*' Don't  make  me  unhappy.  Do  this  for  my 
sake.*' 

Now  we  cannot  expect  very  little  children 
to  grasp  abstract  principles ;  they  are  neces- 
sarily swayed  mostly  by  the  desire  of  ap- 
proval and  affection.  With  older  children, 
however,  we  must  make  a  higher  appeal. 
**This  you  should  do,  not  because  I  wish  it, 
but  because  it  is  right."  *'I  trust  you  to 
avoid  this  evil  habit,  not  because  of  your  af- 
fection for  me,  but  because  of  your  own  self- 
respect,  because  of  your  love  of  truth  and 
justice  and  right." 

The  child  who  is  appealed  to  only  on  the 
score  of  his  personal  affections  and  emotions 
is  not  likely  ever  to  develop  that  sturdy  man- 
hood which  stands  for  truth  in  the  face  of 
popular  prejudice,  and  for  justice,  even 
when  it  works  suffering  to  him  and  his. 

On    the    other    hand,    the    boy    who    is 


82       Character  Training  in  Childhood 

grounded  in  principle  even  more  deeply 
than  in  personal  emotion  will  be  the  man 
who  serves  his  country  rather  than  his  party. 
The  girl  so  reared  will  become  the  woman 
who  resolutely  hides  her  own  grief  and 
smilingly  gives  her  children  to  the  service 
of  the  world. 


CULTIVATE  SELF-RELIANCE 

Children  differ  greatly  in  the  degree  to 
which  they  are  naturally  self-reliant. 
Children  in  the  same  family,  given  the  same 
training,  show  marked  differences  in  this  re- 
spect. I  know  a  family  where  the  two  boys, 
aged  seven  and  five,  were  always  loth  to 
dress  themselves,  or  wait  on  themselves  in 
any  way,  while  their  little  sister  of  three 
would  cry  with  vexation  if  she  was  not  al- 
lowed to  ''Do  it  her  own  self,"  as  she  said. 

In  speaking  of  the  will,  this  matter  of  self- 
reliance  was  glanced  at,  but  it  is  so  vital  an 
element  in  the  training  of  character  that  it 
deserves  further  study. 

Self-reliance  springs  from  self-confidence, 
and  self-confidence  results  from  successful 
effort. 

Apply  this  reasoning  to  your  own  adult 
life,  and  you  will  see  how  absolutely  true  it 
is.     For  instance,  you  may  be  like  a  friend 

83 


84       Character  Training  in  Childhood 

of  mine  who  is  full  of  original,  sound  ideas, 
but  who  can  never  be  induced  to  voice  these 
ideas  in  public.  She  shrinks  behind  the  per- 
son next  to  her,  murmuring,  "Oh  no,  it 
scares  me  horribly  to  talk  before  anyone. 
You  do  it. ' ' 

Now  this  is  an  exhibition  of  dependence 
ridiculous  in  any  grown  person.  This  clever 
woman  wants  others  to  speak  for  her,  be- 
cause she  lacks  confidence  in  her  ability  to 
speak  clearly  and  well  herself.  And  she 
thinks  she  cannot  speak  acceptably  because 
she  has  never  made  the  effort  successfully. 
If  she  would  once  summon  her  will  to  make 
the  effort,  the  chances  are  that  she  would 
succeed,  would  gain  self-confidence,  and 
would  never  again  ask  someone  else  to  do  her 
speaking  for  her.  "Nothing  succeeds  like 
success."  The  man,  woman,  or  child  who 
has  once  done  anything  whatever,  success- 
fully, gains  a  feeling  that  he  will  do  it  suc- 
cessfully next  time,  and  the  person  who  ex- 
pects to  succeed  has  taken  an  important  step 
toward  succeeding. 


CULTIVATE  SELF-RELIANCE 

Self-confidence  springs  from 
successful  effort  and  wise  praise. 


'Wi 


"Help"  ihe  baby 
by  letting  him  help  himself 

The  child  who  shares  in  the 

work  and  responsibility 
of  the  home  will  become 

the  man  who  shares 
in  the  social  and  civic  work. 


ofth 


e  communi 


ty- 


Cultivate  Self-Reliance  85 

Apply  this  same  reasoning  to  children. 
No  child  will  ever  become  self-reliant  unless 
he  is  given  opportunity  to  gain  self-confi- 
dence by  doing  tilings.  No  matter  if  his 
early  efforts  are  imperfect.  Let  him  keep 
on  until  he  succeeds. 

One  winter  I  had  charge  of  a  little  girl 
of  seven  years  who  was  amiable  and  lovable, 
but  sadly  lacking  in  mil  power  and  self-re- 
liance. She  was  the  youngest  of  her  family 
and  had,  accordingly,  been  *' babied"  to  an 
extent  which  increased  her  inherent  weak- 
ness. Her  mother  spoke  to  her  and  of  her 
as  **Baby"  and  evidently  considered  her  in- 
fantine and  not  to  be  held  responsible  in  any 
way. 

During  the  time  that  little  Helen  was  with 
me,  I  tried  to  see  that  no  one  did  for  her 
anything  that  she  was  in  the  least  capable 
of  doing  for  herself.  If  she  pleaded  that 
she  "didn't  know  how,"  she  was  carefully 
shown,  her  efforts  sympathetically  encour- 
aged, and  her  final  triumph  warmly  ap- 
plauded. 


86       Character  Training  in  Childhood 

I  found  it  necessary  also  to  attack  the 
problem  from  another  angle.  One  day 
Helen  said  to  me  rather  wistfully,  ''Babies 
are  much  cunninger  than  little  girls,  aren't 
they?" 

'*0h  yes,"  I  replied,  ''perhaps  they  are. 
We  don't  expect  people  to  be  'cunning'  after 
they  stop  being  babies;  but  I  think  little 
girls  are  ever  so  much  nicer  and  more  fun. 
You  do  so  much  to  help  me  and  we  have  such 
good  times  together, — I'm  ever  so  glad  that 
you  aren't  a  baby."  And  as  I  put  my  arm 
around  her,  she  smiled  into  my  face, — the 
wistfulness  replaced  with  a  look  of  proud 
and  happy  responsibility. 

I  mention  this  little  scene  because  in  many 
families  the  baby  is  so  petted  and  praised 
that  the  older  children  are  very  likely  to 
cast  a  wistful  glance  backward  and  sigh  for 
the  privileges  of  babyhood.  It  is  very  im- 
portant that  every  child  should  feel  that 
added  years  mean  added  freedom  and  ap- 
preciation,— not  merely  added  work  and  re- 
sponsibility. 


Cultivate  Self-Reliance  87 

The  cultivation  of  self-reliance  is  a  matter 
not  of  days,  but  of  months  and  years,  yet  it 
is  surprising  what  progress  a  child  will  make 
in  this  respect,  once  he  is  thoroughly  imbued 
\\dth  a  desire  to  be  independent.  When 
Helen  had  been  with  us  for  a  few  months, 
she  not  only  dressed  herself  and,  with  a  little 
supervision,  bathed  herself,  but  she  made 
her  own  bed,  and,  with  some  assistance  in 
the  matter  of  the  carving  knife,  could  make 
the  toast  and  cocoa  for  her  luncheon.  In- 
stead of  wanting  to  play  ''baby"  and  be  con- 
sidered cunning,  she  took  great  pride  in 
showing  how  much  she  could  do  and  how 
little  help  she  needed. 

While,  as  I  said,  some  children  seem  to  be 
born  independent  and  self-reliant,  most 
children's  instincts  in  that  direction  will 
wither  away  unless  they  are  given  scope.  I 
well  remember  a  friend's  exclamation, 
''How  self-reliant  Helen  is!  Why  our 
Bobbie,  who  is  the  same  age,  could  no  more 
peel  his  own  orange,  as  she  does,  he  would 
make  a  perfect  mess  of  it,  and  as  for  mak- 


88       Character  Training  in  Childhood 

ing  his  own  toast,  I^m  sure  he'd  set  himself 
afire. ' ' 

The  truth  was  that,  as  I  have  said,  Helen 
was  naturally  very  dependent,  of  a  clinging, 
*'-soft"  nature,  and  that  Bobbie  was  by  na- 
ture more  sturdy  and  independent  than  she. 
But  Bobbie's  mother  was  a  nervous,  appre- 
hensive, devoted  soul,  who  hovered  over 
Bobbie  always  ready  to  *'help"  him,  impa- 
tient with  his  slow  little  fingers,  her  own 
nimble  ones  always  itching  to  take  their 
place.  She  ''couldn't  wait"  for  Bobbie  to 
do  things,  it  was  far  easier  to  do  them  her- 
self. Besides  she  was  nervous  and  fearful. 
If  Bobbie  climbed  up  to  reach  his  ball  from 
the  shelf,  he  might  fall;  if  he  removed  the 
dishes  from  the  table,  he  might  drop  them; 
if  he  peeled  his  apple,  he  might  cut  him- 
self. And  so  Bobbie 's  natural  independence 
was  curbed,  his  fingers  remained  clumsy  for 
lack  of  exercise,  he  gained  no  self-confidence, 
because  instead  of  expecting  to  succeed,  he 
was  told  that  he  would  surely  fail  and  that 
someone  older  had  better  do  it  for  him. 


Cultivate  Self-Reliance  89 

Madame  Montessori  tells  a  delightful 
story  of  a  tiny  boy  who  was  eager  to  watch 
what  was  going  on  in  her  school,  but  could 
not  see  over  the  heads  of  the  other  children. 
*'His  eye  lighted  on  a  little  chair,  and  evi- 
dently he  made  up  his  mind  to  place  it  be- 
hind the  group  of  children  and  then  climb 
up  on  it.  He  began  to  move  toward  the 
chair,  his  face  illumined  with  hope,  but  at 
that  moment  the  teacher  seized  him  brutally 
(or,  perhaps,  she  would  have  said,  gently) 
in  her  arms,  and  lifting  him  up  above  the 
heads  of  the  other  children  showed  him  the 
basin  of  water,  saying,  'Come,  poor  little 
one,  you  shall  see  too.' — The  little  fellow 
had  been  about  to  feel  himself  a  conqueror, 
and  he  found  himself  held  within  two  im- 
prisoning arms,  imjDotent.  The  expression 
of  joy,  anxiety  and  hope  faded  from  his 
face  and  left  on  it  the  stupid  expression  of 
the  child  who  knows  that  others  will  act 
for  him." 

This  is  a  very  simple  little  anecdote,  but 
it  admirably  illustrates  the  way  in  which  we 


90       Character  Training  in  Childhood 

unconsciously  check  our  children's  educa- 
tion and  development,  by  giving  them  what 
they  want  to  get  for  themselves.  Wje  f orgiet 
that  it  is  not  having,  but  doing,  that  makes 
for  happiness  and  strength.  We  forget  that 
we  can  never  teach  our  children  to  do,  by 
doing  for  them,  but  only  by  allowing  them 
to  do  for  themselves.  It  is  as  if  we  expected 
them  to  acquire  the  art  of  swimming  without 
ever  going  into  the  water  or  even  practising 
the  strokes. 

This  well-meant,  clumsy  kindness  of  par- 
ents and  grownups  in  general,  robs  our  chil- 
dren of  the  ''joy  of  conquest."  It  deprives 
them  of  that  sense  of  power  which  comes 
from  successful  effort.  It  makes  them 
weaklings,  dependent  on  the  service  or  favor 
of  others,' unfit  to  play  their  part  in  a  de- 
mocracy where  every  man  should  stand  on 
his  own  feet. 

There  are,  therefore,  three  reasons  why 
we  must  train  our  children,  from  infancy, 
to  perform  as  many  actions  as  possible  for 
themselves. 


Cultivate  Self -Reliance  91 

In  the  first  place,  it  will  make  them  far 
happier  during  their  childhood  and  far 
better  equijDped  to  make  their  own  happi- 
ness in  manhood.  Secondly,  it  will  give 
them  a  self-confidence  and  proficiency  which 
will  serve  them  well  throughout  life. 
Thirdl}^  it  will  make  them  truly  democratic, 
ashamed  to  depend  upon  the  services  or  the 
favors  of  others,  hating  the  thought  of  para- 
sitism in  any  of  its  forms. 

Mothers  long  to  keep  their  babies.  They 
sigh  at  the  growing  independence  of  the  tiny 
boy  or  girl.  "Let  mother  do  it  for  you,  dar- 
ling," is  the  wistful  cry  of  the  mother  who 
sees  her  baby  fast  turning  into  a  self-suffi- 
cient boy. 

It  does  hurt  to  feel  that  we  are  no  longer 
needed, — but  after  all,  is  not  that  what  all 
motherhood,  all  friendship,  all  service 
means, — namely,  the  showing  those  whom 
we  serve  how  to  serve  themselves? 

The  teacher  is  glad  to  promote  her  pupils. 
Their  promotion  is  a  sign  of  her  success. 
The  true  doctor  promotes  hygiene  and  looks 


92       Character  Training  in  Childhood 

forward  to  the  time  when  doctors  may  be 
ahnost  unnecessary.  The  social  worker  is 
eager  to  get  her  proteges  "on  their  feet," 
that  they  may  be  independent  of  her  aid. 
Just  so  the  mother  must  forget  self  in  re- 
joicing to  see  her  child's  growing  independ- 
ence. She  must  learn,  as  Montessori  says, 
to  treat  him  not  like  a  doll,  when  he  is,  in 
reality,  *^a  man  confided  by  nature  to  her 


care." 


in 

GROWTH  THROUGH  PLAY 


CHILDREN  NEED  PLAY 

Next  to  hunger,  the  i^lay-impulse  is  the 
most  deeply  rooted  of  all  the  child 's  instincts. 
We  speak  of  the  "play-life"  of  children,  but 
the  term  is  a  mistal^en  one,  for  the  child's 
play  is  his  life.  A  child  who  does  not  play 
is  ill,  either  physically  or  mentally,  and 
very  ill,  for  even  the  pale  little  inmates  of 
the  hospital  are  eager  for  such  play  as  their 
slender  strength  permits. 

In  this  passion  for  play,  the  child  is  like 
all  young  creatures.  The  starving  kitten, 
once  warmed  and  fed,  will  respond  to  a  coax- 
ing forefinger  by  a  feeble,  but  playful  pass 
with  her  paw.  The  puppy  will  even  leave 
his  dinner  to  join  in  a  game  of  ball.  Among 
all  the  higher  animals,  infancy  is  a  time  of 
play,  and  the  higher  in  the  scale  the  animal, 
the  longer  is  this  play-time. 

Among  the   less   evolved   animals,   play 

95 


96       Character  Training  in  Childhood 

seems  to  be  unknown.  So  far  as  we  can  un- 
derstand them,  insects,  fishes,  and  for  the 
most  part,  birds,  do  not  play, — although  I 
have  known  pet  parrots  and  a  pet  toucan 
who  hugely  enjoyed  playing  with  their  mas- 
ter. 

Similarly,  if  you  visit  an  institution  for 
the  feeble-minded,  you  will  find  that,  below 
a  certain  grade  of  mentality,  the  ability  to 
play  is  lacking.  And  you  will  also  find  that 
in  such  institutions,  play  is  the  great  method 
of  education  and  development. 

Let  us  consider  just  what  it  is  that  play 
does  for  our  children. 

Its  first  and  most  obvious  effect  is  on  the 
child's  body.  The  baby  spends  most  of  his 
waking  hours  in  play,  flinging  his  spoon 
down  that  you  may  pick  it  up,  and  when  he 
is  older,  trotting  ujj  and  down  the  hall  play- 
ing '*choo-choo,"  inventing  a  thousand  dif- 
ferent ways  of  exercising  his  body  and  train- 
ing his  muscles.  Some  years  ago  Professor 
Curtis,  examining  a  large  number  of  chil- 
dren, found  that  the  toddlers  from  three  to 


Children  Need  Play  97 

six  years  old  covered  in  a  day  the  amazing 
distance  of  9%  miles.  If  one  watches  a 
small  child  for  half  an  hour,  one  is  convinced 
that  perpetual  motion  is  not  a  myth,  but  the 
everyday  performance  of  the  American 
youngster. 

It  is  absolute  cruelty  to  make  a  small  child 
sit  still  for  any  but  a  very  short  period  of 
time.  His  whole  body  cries  out  for  the  ex- 
ercise without  which  it  cannot  keep  health, 
gain  strength,  or  acquire  skill.  Even  among 
older  children,  frequent  play  periods  should 
alternate  with  study  hours.  Play  is  Na- 
ture's method  of  education  and  we  interfere 
with  it  at  our  peril. 

Perhaps  the  most  serious  indictment  of 
child  labor  is  not  that  it  keeps  children  out 
of  school,  but  that  it  prevents  their  playing. 
When  Mrs.  Browning  denounced  the  evils 
of  child  labor  in  England,  seventy  years  ago, 
she  based  her  appeal  on  the  child's  divine 
right  to  play: — 

"The  young  lambs  are  bleating  in  the  meadows; 
The  young  birds  are  chirping  in  the  nest ; 


98       Character  Training  in  Childhood 

The  young  fawns  are  playing  with  the  shadows ; 
The  young  clouds  are  blowing  toward  the  west — 
But  the  young,  young  children,  0  my  brothers, 

They  are  weeping  bitterly ! — 
They  are  weeping  in  the  playtime  of  the  others, 

In  the  country  of  the  free." 

But  great  as  are  the  evils  of  child  labor 
in  stunting  bodies,  cramping  minds  and 
warping  characters,  we  must  not  lose  sight 
of  the  ''poor  little  rich  girl"  whose  body, 
mind  and  character  are  almost  equally 
starved  not  by  work,  but  by  idleness.  It  is 
really  an  open  question  whether  the  lad  who 
works  in  a  factory,  but  plays  ball  vigorously 
during  his  noon  hour,  is  not  better  off,  physi- 
cally, mentally  and  morally  than  the  "gilded 
youth"  who  lolls  on  the  apartment  house 
steps  gossiping  with  the  janitor,  or  lounges 
on  the  corner  waiting  for  something  to  dis- 
pel his  boredom.  No,  what  our  children 
need  is  not  freedom  from  work,  but  oppor- 
tunity for  wholesome  play. 

"But,"  people  often  say,  "why  all  this" 
fuss  about  helping  children  to  play?  All 
children  play.     It  is  their  nature.    Why 


Children  Need  Play  99 

should  a  child's  parents  or  teachers  provide 
him  with  opportunities  to  do  what  he  will 
do  of  his  own  accord,  without  their  help*?" 

The  answer  to  this  very  natural  question 
is  that  of  course  children  will  play  without 
help,  just  as  they  will  eat  without  help,  but 
that  we  train  our  children  to  eat  what  they 
should  and  as  they  should,  and  in  equal 
measure  we  should  train  them  to  play  games 
that  will  give  them  bodily,  mental  and  spiri- 
tual help  and  to  play  in  the  right  way. 

Left  to  himself,  the  small  boy's  play  is 
likely  to  mean  torment  for  the  cat,  exaspera- 
tion for  the  family,  and  a  training  in  wan- 
ton destruction  for  himself.  I  know  a  very 
active  and  energetic  little  girl  who,  at  the 
age  of  three  or  four  was  left  very  much  to 
her  own  devices,  as  her  mother  did  not  ap- 
prove of  entertaining  her.  But  she  took  no 
pains  to  supply  the  restless  brain  and  active 
body  with  any  suitable  material  upon  which 
to  work.  The  result  was  that  little  Grace,  a 
really  charaiing  child,  was  a  source  of  ter- 
ror to  all  her  mother's  friends.     She  could 


100     Character  Training  in  Childhood 

not  be  left  alone  for  a  moment,  lest  the  glass- 
ware, bedspread,  wall-paper  or  other  fur- 
nishings should  be  destroyed.  At  five, 
Grace  was  sent  to  kindergarten,  where,  sup- 
plied with  proper  materials  and  given  a 
chance  for  right  play,  she  became  a  ''star 
pupil." 

Among  older  children,  the  tendency  to 
mischief  and  destruction  is  much  less, — 
though  many  a  city  ash-barrel  hurled  upon 
its  side,  can  testify  to  the  survival  of  this 
spirit  in  the  growing  lad.  The  boy's  tend- 
ency is  to  play  too  limited  a  range  of  games. 
Every  boy  plays  baseball,  but  a  large  per- 
centage can  neither  swim,  skate,  row,  wres- 
tle, box  nor  hit  a  target.  Moreover,  many 
a  bookish  lad  and  an  even  larger  number  of 
girls  prefer  quiet,  indoor  games,  which  often 
give  good  mental  training,  but  provide  no 
vigorous  bodily  exercise. 

Another  strong  reason  for  helping  the 
child  to  right  play  is  that  children,  left  to 
themselves,  frequently  develop  a  tendency 
to  evade  the  rules  of  the  game  and  to  pliune 


Children  Need  Play  101 

themselves  on  successful  deception.  A  wise 
elder  can  overcome  this  by  making  it  clear 
that  no  game  can  be  successfully  played  un- 
less all  the  players  abide  by  the  rules.  Thus 
the  play  whi  ch  formerly  was  direct  training 
in  slyness  becomes  a  mode  of  training  in  hon- 
esty, fair  play  and  coo]3eration. 


GUIDE  THE  PLAY  OF  CHILDREN 

If  we  are  to  guide  our  children  aright  in 
this  most  vital  matter  of  play,  we  must  un- 
derstand the  successive  stages  of  the  child's 
mental  development  and  how  best  to  meet 
his  needs  at  each  stage. 

By  this  I  do  not  mean  that  the  too-anxious 
parent  should  stand  over  his  child  superin- 
tending his  play, — such  constant  supervision 
is  far  worse  than  no  guidance  at  all.  What 
is  needed  is  that  we  comprehend  our  chil- 
dren's developing  play-instincts  and  supply 
them  with  opportunity  for  gratifying  those 
instincts.  Be  assured  that  if  we  do  not  pro- 
vide proper  material  for  such  instincts  to 
work  upon,  the  child  himself  will  find  im- 
proper material. 

I  have  in  mind  two  mothers  of  my  ac- 
quaintance, each  the  proud  possessor  of  a 
small  boy  "going  on  two."    Mrs.  X.  admits 

102 


pnppi"" 


i 


GUIDANCE  OF  PLAY 

Workwiih  Nature-  noi  against  it. 
Encourage  play  that:  aces 

Develops  muscles  and  senses,  aboui  l-o 
Lays  foundation  For  unapination,  "  S~G 
Gives  basis  for  self  confidence.  "  (3~' 1 
Trams  in  loyalty  and  Fairness.       "'    U'*' 


Choose  plaything's  that  stimulate 
the  imagination  to  act. 


•^HVH 


Choose  games  thai  develop  the  child. 


Guide  the  Play  of  Children         103 

that  she  is  ''driven  almost  crazy  by  Bob's 
mischief."  He  runs  all  over  the  house  in- 
vestigating bureau  drawers,  turning  on  fau- 
cets, emptying  her  cologne  bottle,  and  dash- 
ing china  on  the  floor  in  order  to  hear  the 
delightful  crash. 

Mrs.  Y.'s  little  Tom  is  equally  active  and 
equally  interested  in  all  the  sights,  sounds, 
tastes  and  smells  of  this  boundless  and  en- 
trancing world.  But  Mrs.  Y,  understands 
Tom.  She  knows  that  during  these  first 
three  years  of  his  life  he  must  learn  more 
than  in  any  of  the  years  that  follow.  She 
knows  that  his  muscles  fairly  cry  aloud  for 
exercise,  his  eyes  and  ears  are  strained  to 
catch  every  sight  and  sound,  that  his  fin- 
gers ache  to  clutch  and  feel  and  that  his  baby 
brain  yearns  passionately  to  know.  But 
Mrs.  Y.  prefers  to  provide  Tom's  educa- 
tional material  rather  than  to  let  Tom  find 
it  in  bureaus  and  china  closets. 

When  I  visited  her  the  other  day,  the 
house  was  so  silent  that  I  thought  Tom  must 
be  asleep.    Not  at  all, — ^he  was  seated  on 


104     Character  Training  in  Childhood 

the  kitchen  floor  with  a  glass  pint  jar,  an 
iron  spoon  and  a  small  pile  of  rice.  An 
expression  of  intense  earnestness  as  he  care- 
fully put  each  spoonful  of  rice  into  the  jar 
changed  to  a  smile  of  delight  as  he  poured 
it  in  a  tinkling  cataract  from  the  jar  into 
his  tin  pail. 

On  another  day,  he  spent  a  full  hour  put- 
ting a  stick  of  macaroni  through  the  holes 
in  a  cane-seated  chair,  through  the  wide 
meshes  in  the  window-curtains,  and  through 
a  series  of  spools. 

In  Tom's  backyard,  there  is  a  sand-pile 
provided  with  discarded  kitchen  ware. 
There  is  also  a  firmly  fixed  ladder  of  three 
steps  and  a  low  swing.  For  indoor  play 
he  has  a  variety  of  bottles,  spools  and  blocks 
of  differing  sizes  and  colors,  a  ball  for  throw- 
ing and  a  football  for  kicking,  and  most 
cherished  of  all,  a  much-battered  doll,  soft, 
washable  and  comforting  to  take  to  bed  with 
one.  When  he  wants  to  "make  music,"  he 
is  not  given  a  spoon  and  a  tin  pan,  but  adult 
ears  are  spared  and  his  own  trained  by  al- 


Guide  the  Play  of  Children         105 

lowing  him  to  pound  on  a  xylophone  with  a 
padded  stick. 

The  eminent  psychologist,  William  James, 
has  pointed  out  that  every  instinct  has  a 
time  for  flowering  and  that  if  the  instinct  is 
hampered  at  this  time,  it  will  never  again  de- 
velop to  its  full  power.  So  with  the  child. 
If  during  the  first  three  years,  which  were 
meant  to  be  filled  with  muscular  activity, 
with  investigation  of  sights,  sounds,  tastes, 
feelings  and  smells,  the  baby  is  thwarted  or 
has  access  to  only  a  limited  range  of  objects, 
he  is  forever  the  loser.  These  are  the  years 
which,  in  Nature's  school,  are  devoted  to 
muscle  and  sense  training.  Let  us  work 
with  Nature  who  supplies  the  instinct,  by 
supplying  the  materials. 

The  years  from  three  to  six  are  those  when 
the  imagination  becomes  most  active, — when 
the  desire  to  imitate,  to  dramatize,  to  ^'make 
believe,"  is  uppermost. 

From  six  to  eleven  comes  the  age  of  grow- 
ing self-confidence,  the  age  which  Joseph 
Lee  so  appropriately  calls  the  ''Big  Injun" 


106     Character  Training  in  Childhood 

age,  when  the  child  measures  his  skill 
against  that  of  his  mates,  when  every  con- 
versation is  an  argument  and  every  game 
a  contest. 

And  at  about  eleven  years,  the  senses  hav- 
ing been  trained,  the  imagination  kindled 
and  the  self-confident  will  developed,  comes 
the  dawn  of  the  last  and  highest  form  of 
play, — the  play  that  lasts  as  long  as  life  it- 
self and  that  trains  the  child  to  live  in  a 
socialized  world.  In  team-play,  the  boy  and 
girl  realize  themselves  as  parts  of  a  larger 
whole,  existing  not  merely  for  their  own 
pleasure,  but  for  the  common  good,  playing 
not  for  self  but  for  their  "side." 

If  we  once  fully  realize  that  play  is  Na- 
ture's method  of  education,  her  method  of 
preparation  for  life,  we  see  that  play  is  the 
most  serious  thing  in  child  life.  That  is 
why  children  take  it  so  seriously.  Watch 
bo3^s  building  a  snow  fort,  or  girls  tending 
their  dolls  and  note  the  dead-earnestness  of 
their  faces,  the  intense  seriousness  with 
which  they  conduct  this  vital  business. 


Guide  the  Play  of  Children         107 

With  grown  people,  play  is  recreation,  re- 
laxation from  the  effort  of  work,  but  with 
children  play  takes  the  place  that  congenial 
work  takes  with  men  and  women.  In  fact, 
congenial  work  is  the  play  of  the  man,  just  as 
play  is  the  work  of  the  child.  Edison  has 
been  credited  with  saying  that  he  has  never 
done  a  day's  work  in  his  life, — so  filled  is  he 
with  the  play  spirit. 

Perhaps  the  best  reason  for  seeing  that 
the  child  has,  at  each  stage  of  his  develop- 
ment, a  full,  rich  and  satisfying  life  of  play, 
is  so  that  he  may  preserve  into  manhood 
the  play-spirit, — so  that  he  may  never  cease 
to  pla}",  but  find  in  his  life-work  the  same 
soul-satisfaction  that  he  found  in  his  boy- 
ish games.  The  child  who  has  never  had 
the  right  sort  of  play  is  likely  to  become  the 
man  who  takes  no  pleasure  in  work.  It  was 
a  wise  man  who  said,  "The  child  without  a 
playground  is  father  to  the  man  without  a 
job!" 


THE  MAKE-BELIEVE  OF  THE 
CHILD 

The  child  of  three  is  no  longer  content 
with  merely  exercising  his  muscles  by  aim- 
less kicking,  climbing  and  running,  or  with 
mere  seeing,  hearing  and  feeling  for  the 
sake  of  gratifying  his  curiosity.  If  he 
climbs,  he  is  now  a  monkey  at  the  zoo.  If 
he  runs,  he  is  an  automobile  or  a  "choo- 
choo. ' '  The  dishpan,  which  in  his  babyhood 
was  merely  a  source  of  pleasing  noise,  now 
becomes  a  drum  and  the  scarlet  table-cloth 
which  formerly  attracted  him  merely  by  its 
brilliant  color,  forms  a  delightful  tent  un- 
der which  he  can  hide. 

The  years  from  three  to  six  are  those  in 
which  the  imagination, — ^most  priceless  of 
all  man's  possessions, — is  most  developed. 
It  has  been  truly  said  that  if  you  can  train 
a  child  for  the  first  seven  years  of  his  life, 
you  will  have  given  his  character  a  ''set" 

108 


IMAGINATIVE  PLAY 

lb  imiiate  and  io "find  out  g'ives  the 
child  SYmpathy  witii  ihe  world  about  him. 


L:4 


V- 


Not  to^look  hke"  but  to'^feel' 
and  "be  like''someone. 


Children's  dancing  and  sinking  develops 
their  sense  of  music  and  art. 

Imaginaiive  play  develops  under- 
•'  standing  and  creative  power. 


The  Make-Believe  of  the  Child      109 

that  no  later  training  can  undo.  This  is  so 
because  a  man 's  life  is  largely  determined  by 
his  imagination  and  his  imagination  is 
largely  determined  before  he  is  seven  years 
old. 

This  may  sound  like  rather  a  sweeping 
statement,  but  the  experience  of  anyone  who 
carefully  watches  a  developing  child  will 
bear  it  out.  During  these  early  years,  the 
child  is  rehearsing,  as  it  were,  his  future  part 
in  the  world-drama.  And  as  he  is  a  born 
actor,  he  copies  faithfully  the  figures  in  his 
little  world.  But  he  is  no  mere  mimic  like 
his  brother,  the  monkey,  who  copies  only  the 
outward  actions  of  men.  His  imagination 
carries  him  completely  out  of  himself  and, 
for  the  moment,  he  actually  is  a  bear,  an 
express  train,  or  an  Indian. 

So  real  are  the  creatures  of  the  child's 
imagination  that  often  they  refuse  to  die 
with  the  passing  of  his  childhood,  but  per- 
sist, though  more  dimly,  throughout  his  life. 
I  know  a  woman  of  forty  who  says  that  most 
of  her  casual  acquaintances  are  less  real  to 


110     Character  Training  in  Childhood 

her  even  now,  than  the  dolls  whom  she  once 
endowed  with  life. 

The  child  feels  cramped  by  the  narrow 
bounds  of  his  own  personality.  Uncon- 
sciously, he  longs  to  enter  into  the  larger 
life  of  humanity  and  he  fulfils  this  longing 
by  giving  his  imagination  rein  and  so  be- 
coming, for  a  time,  the  grocer,  the  conductor, 
the  policeman,  his  own  father,  and  each  of 
the  figures  that  make  up  his  world. 

Watch  a  child  and  you  may  gather  a  very 
fair  idea  of  his  or  her  habitual  associates. 
Children  are  mirrors  in  which  we  may  see 
faithful  reflections  of  ourselves.  I  vividly 
remember  once  playing  "house"  with  a 
small  boy,  a  new  acquaintance,  who,  in  his 
role  of  father  amazed  and  puzzled  me  by  say- 
ing, "Now  I'll  make  believe  'rush  the 
growler.'  "  With  which,  he  picked  up  my 
tin  pail  and  went  off  to  a  saloon  in  the  fence- 
corner.  Such  conduct  on  the  part  of  fathers 
was  a  novelty.  Where  in  the  world  had 
Julius  seen  a  father  that  acted  that  way? 
I  wondered. 


The  Make-Believe  of  the  Child      111 

And  this  brings  me  to  the  practical  plea 
that  I  wish  to  make  in  dealing  with  this 
matter  of  the  childish  imagination.  We 
owe  to  our  children  a  chance  to  embody  in 
their  play  not  the  ugly  and  sordid,  but  the 
lovely  and  true.  When  they  are  older,  they 
will  perforce  see,  all  too  soon,  the  seamy  side 
of  life,  but  while  they  are  in  the  sensitive, 
formative  years  of  earliest  childhood,  while 
they  are  imconsciously  looking  for  models  to 
copy,  let  us  strive  to  give  them  the  most 
beautiful  ones  possible. 

This  means  not  merely  that  parents  should 
be  loving  and  courteous  and  that  the  child's 
companions  should  be  desirable,  but  that  his 
toys  should  be  artistic,  not  grotesque  nor  vul- 
gar. It  means  that  the  inane  vulgarities  of 
the  comic  supplement  and  the  "custard-pie 
comedy"  should  be  abolished.  They  are  an 
insult  to  the  child's  intelligence  and  they  are 
poison  to  his  imagination. 

"But,"  many  parents  will  say,  "Johnnie 
just  loves  the  comic  supplement."  It  is 
true  that  Johnnie  often  does,  just  as  many 


112     Character  Training  in  Childhood 

grown  people  find  a  horrible  fascination  in 
reading  the  details  of  sensational  murders. 
Unfortunately,  there  is  a  perverse  streak  in 
human  nature  that  makes  most  of  us  hanker 
after  unwholesome  things.  But  five  year 
old  Johnnie's  love  of  mince  pie  is  no  rea- 
son for  allowing  him  to  eat  it.  Nor  is  his 
morbid  pleasure  in  grotesque  toys,  stories 
like  Bluebeard,  and  hideous  or  silly  pictures 
a  reason  for  allowing  his  imagination  to 
feast  on  them.  ^ 

As  I  have  said,  our  first  duty  is  to  sur- 
round our  children  ^4th  wholesome  food  for 
imitation, — which  is  one  of  the  first  forms 
taken  by  imagination.  Our  next  duty  is 
that  of  aiding,  or  at  least  respecting,  their 
imaginative  play. 

When  the  small  girl  urges  you  to  buy  some 
of  her  mud  pies,  it  is  really  cruel  to  say, 
''For  goodness  sake,  child,  don't  bring  that 
mud  in  here."  Why  not  reply,  "They  do 
look  delicious  with  all  that  chocolate  icing 
on  them;  but  I'm  afraid  the  crumbs  will 
spoil  my  carpet.     Suppose  you  lay  them 


The  Mahe-Believe  of  the  Child      113 

aside  for  me  on  your  bakery-shelf  and  I'll 
call  for  them  when  I  go  marketing. ' '  Such 
an  answer  will  spare  your  floors  and  at  the 
same  time  make  your  small  daughter  feel 
that  you  understand  and  enter  her  world. 
For  we  must  remember  that  children  cannot 
enter  our  world, — it  is  we  who  must  enter 
theirs. 

The  great  trouble  with  parents  and  grown- 
ups generally  is  that  they  have  forgotten 
how  they  felt  when  they  were  children. 
They  have  forgotten  that  play,  to  the  child, 
is  a  vitally  serious  thing,  and  that  to  laugh 
at  or  destroy  his  play-creations  is  absolutely 
cruel.  We  adults,  too,  have  our  moments  of 
disillusionment,  when  a  cynical,  super-adult 
voice  seems  to  whisper,  ' '  Silly  child !  Why 
are  you  working  so  hard  to  paint  that  pic- 
ture, to  write  this  book,  to  build  up  this 
business  ?  Do  you  not  see  that  it  can  never 
really  be  what  you  dreamed?  Why  waste 
your  life  on  a  useless  vision?"  Any  adult 
who  has  had  such  moments  of  disillusion, — 
and  who  has  not? — should  realize  just  what 


11 4     Character  Training  in  Childhood 

he  is  doing  when  he  laughs  at  the  child's 
no  less  real  play. 

Yes,  imagination  is  the  divine  faculty 
which  enables  man  to  see  beneath  the  sur- 
face of  things,  to  understand  their  inner 
reality  and  so  to  become  one  with  them.  It 
is  the  basis  not  merely  of  art  and  invention, 
on  the  mental  side,  but  of  sympathy  and 
religion  on  the  spiritual  side  of  our  natures. 

Then  let  us  feed  our  children's  minds  and 
souls  with  beautiful  imaginings  as  we  feed 
their  bodies  with  pure,  strengthening  food. 
Let  us  encourage  them  to  act  out  in  little 
dramas  the  stories  they  read  and  hear.  Let 
the  family  circle  be  a  focus  around  which  its 
members  weave  stories  and  even  write 
verses  and  chant  songs.  Childhood  is  all 
too  brief  and  unless  we  make  the  most  of  its 
imaginings,  we  shall  continue  to  have,  as  we 
have  now,  a  race  whose  children  are  poetic, 
but  whose  men  and  women  are  hopelessly 
heavy  and  stolid. 


CONSTRUCTIVE  PLAY 

A  wise  writer  on  childhood  and  its  ways 
has  pointed  out  that  there  is  but  one  way  to 
understand  children,  and  that  is  to  think 
your  way  back  through  the  mists  of  time 
and  to  remember  how  you  yourself  felt,  as 
a  child.  Most  of  us  do,  indeed,  "put  away 
childish  things," — put  them  so  far  away  that 
we  have  lost  the  key  to  our  children's  minds. 

If  we  all  remembered  vividly  our  own 
childhood,  we  should  not  be  surprised  and 
annoyed  when  Willie  pulls  his  mechanical 
toy  apart  so  as  to  use  the  wheels  in  making 
a  wabbly  wagon  of  his  very  own.  Nor 
should  we  wonder  that  Agnes,  after  a  few 
hours,  throws  aside  her  expensive  talking 
doll  and  is  found  nursing  a  towel  rolled  into 
the  semblance  of  a  baby. 

Willie  and  Agnes  know  what  we  once 
knew,  but  what,  alas,  the  years  have  taught 

115 


116     Character  Training  in  Childhood 

us  to  forget, — that  it  is  not  having  but  mak- 
ing that  is  life's  greatest  joy. 

It  is  true  that  children,  like  grown-ups, 
are  dazzled  for  a  moment  by  the  glories  of 
the  toy-shop  and  will  eagerly  plead  for  every 
toy  in  sight,  but,  once  possessed,  no  toy  will 
be  long  valued  unless  the  child  himself  can 
do  or  make  something  with  it.  At  Christ- 
mas time  the  shops  are  full  of  mechanical 
toys,  monkeys  that  climb  up  one  side  of  a 
stick  and  down  the  other,  dancing  bears, 
revolving  Ferris-wheels,  and  hundreds  of 
other  elaborate  machines  for  doing  one  thing 
over  and  over. 

If  we  grown-ups  remembered  our  own 
childhood,  these  toys  that  merely  amuse  for 
an  instant  would  vanish  and  in  their  place 
the  shops  would  sell  fewer,  but  more  lasting 
toys.  They  would  offer  toys  with  which  the 
child  could  do  something, — blocks,  balls, 
crayons,  paints,  tools,  dolls  that  can  be  un- 
dressed, horses  than  can  be  unliarnessed  and 
put  into  the  stable,  soap-bubble  pipes,  skates, 
bows  and  arrows, — any  and  every  sort  of  toy 


CONSTRUCTIVE  PLAY 

How  the  building  instinct 
shapes  the  child. 


Not  things  made  for  them-  but  things 
they  make  themselves  insure    growth. 

Constructive  play  fulfills  innate 
desire  for  adion  and  inveniion,and^ives 
ability  for  work  with  mind  and  hands. 


Constructive  Play  117 

that  the  child  can  really  use,  not  merely  sit 
and  look  at. 

Here  again,  the  ^^poor  little  rich  girl"  is 
at  a  disadvantage.  I  recall  once  seeing  on 
the  street  a  pile  of  builder's  sand  in  which 
a  swarm  of  ill-clad,  but  gleeful  youngsters 
were  having  a  glorious  play.  The  boys  had 
erected  a  castle  and  were  triumphantly 
planting  the  stars  and  stripes  on  its  sum- 
mit. The  girls,  with  a  variety  of  old  bot- 
tles and  tin  cans,  were  playing  at  grocery- 
store.  And  the  smaller  ones  were  bliss- 
fully engaged  in  making  sand-pies,  with  peb- 
bles for  raisins  and  twigs  for  citron. 

Past  this  enchanting  scene  of  happy  ac- 
tivity walked  a  small  maiden,  about  five 
years  old,  dragging  an  expensive  toy 
mounted  on  wheels.  She  herself  was 
dragged  by  an  absent-minded  nursegirl. 

As  they  passed  the  gates  of  Eden,  the  poor 
child  stretched  out  a  longing  hand.  **Look, 
Nora,  what  lovely  sand!  Let's  play  here 
instead  of  in  the  park." 

But  Nora  was  deaf.    *'0h,  no,  darlin',  the 


118     Character  Training  in  Childhood 

sand's  all  dirty.  The  park  is  ever  so  much 
nicer  for  little  girls."  And  off  the  wistful 
little  figure  was  dragged,  to  sit  on  the  park 
bench  or  to  drag  her  stupid  toy  along  the 
asphalt  walks. 

Of  course,  the  ideal  play-place  for  chil- 
dren is  the  country, — largely  because  it  of- 
fers to  the  child  an  inexhaustible  supply  of 
materials.  It  contains  more  toys,  usable  in 
more  ways,  more  endlessly  fascinating,  than 
all  the  toy-shops  in  the  world.  There  is  the 
brook  to  be  dammed  in  summer  and  the  pond 
to  be  skated  on  in  winter.  There  are  the 
trees  to  climb  and  to  build  play-houses  in. 
There  are  delightful  caves  in  which  to  play 
Indians.  There  are  cones,  seed-pods,  moss 
and  twigs,  which  can  be  turned  into  the  most 
delightful  furnishings  for  the  doll-house 
marked  out  with  stones  under  the  apple- 
tree.  One  can  make  spears  from  cat-tails 
and  whistles  from  the  willow  tree.  And 
what  more  delightful  than  a  corn-cob  doll, 
with  such  lovely,  silky,  brown  hair? 

But,  alas,  many  of  us  cannot  take  our  chil- 


Constructive  Play  119 

dren  to  the  country.  What  shall  we  do 
about  it? 

In  the  first  place,  it  is  usually  possible  to 
give  even  the  city  child  far  more  country- 
play  than  he  gets.  Why  not,  on  Sunday 
afternoon,  trolley  out  into  the  country  and 
come  home  laden  with  horse-chestnuts, 
acorns,  cones,  and  such  other  play-material 
as  the  children's  sharp  eyes  are  sure  to  dis- 
cover ? 

"And  clutter  up  the  whole  house  with  rub- 
bish?" the  tidy  housewife  will  exclaim. 
"Not  necessarily  so,"  I  reply,  for  the  chil- 
dren can  and  should  be  taught  to  care  for 
their  possessions  and  clear  them  away  after 
they  have  finished  playing.  But  even  if  the 
"rubbish"  is  somewhat  disturbing  to  the 
household  neatness,  is  it  not  better  to  have 
a  slightly  disordered  house  than  to  have  a 
set  of  dull,  unimaginative,  listless  children 
who  can  invent  nothing  and  who  have  no  re- 
sources within  themselves? 

In  his  delightful  play,  "The  Admirable 
Crichton,"  Barrie  pictures  the  shipwreck 


120     Character  Training  in  Childhood 

upon  a  desert  island  of  an  aristocratically 
helpless  English  family  and  their  butler. 

The  family,  accustomed  from  infancy  to 
merely  ''push  the  button"  of  life,  are  be- 
wildered by  their  unaccustomed  plight. 
They  know  not  what  to  do  and  turn  for 
guidance  to  the  butler,  Crichton,  who  takes 
the  helm,  lays  all  the  plans  and  sets  the  oth- 
ers to  work. 

It  is  frankly  a  caricature,  but  it  is  based 
on  solid  truth,  the  truth  that  you  cannot  do 
everything  for  a  child, — even  his  playing, — 
and  expect  him  to  become  a  self-rehant,  or- 
iginal man. 

Therefore,  not  merely  because  your  child 
will  be  happier,  but  because  he  will  be 
stronger,  more  inventive,  more  imaginative, 
more  skilful,  let  his  toys  be  such  as  he  can 
make,  or  can  at  least  use.  Before  we  buy  a 
toy,  let  us  ask,  "How  much  can  my  child 
really  get  out  of  this  plaything?  Will  he 
tire  of  it  tomorrow,  throw  it  aside,  and  so  be 
trained  in  fickleness  and  waste?  Or  is  it 
something  that  will  be  a  real  tool  for  him  to 


Constructive  Play  121 

use  in  countless  ways?  Is  it  something 
upon  which  he  can  exercise  his  skill  and 
power  and  that  will  be  a  means  to  more 
power?" 

Unless  a  toy  will  stand  this  test,  it  would 
better  be  left  on  the  toy-shop  shelf.  I  know 
of  a  family  of  children  who  had  numberless 
beautiful  toys,  but  their  chief  joy  was  an  old 
rounded  trunk-lid.  With  a  broom-stick 
mast,  they  sailed  away  to  the  orient,  rocking 
delightfully  over  calm  seas,  or  pitching 
frightfully  in  a  hurricane.  The  make- 
believe  cargo  of  silks  and  spices  that  they 
brought  back  from  their  voyage  was  a  joy 
to  them.  It  was  not  until  years  afterward 
that  they  realized  the  more  precious  cargo 
of  imagination,  inventiveness,  and  joy  in 
making  that  they  had  gained  from  their 
play. 


COOPERATIVE  PLAY 

By  the  time  a  boy  or  girl  is  about  eleven 
years  old,  the  senses  and  muscles  should  be 
fairly  well  trained,  the  imagination  actively 
developed,  and  a  sense  of  self-confidence  es- 
tablished. At  this  age,  games  of  imagina- 
tion and  contests  in  strength  and  skill  are 
still  popular,  but  it  is,  above  all  else,  the 
team-game  that  now  holds  sway. 

Anyone  who  has  tried  it  knows  how  hard 
it  is  to  get  a  group  of  ten-year-olds  to  **pull 
together."  Each  one  wants  to  be  "boss.'' 
Each  one  wants  to  assert  his  own  superior- 
ity. Partners  in  the  croquet  game  will 
wrangle  instead  of  playing  into  each  others' 
hands,  and  the  game  of  ball  usually  ends  in  a 
violent  quarrel  between  the  pitcher  and 
catcher.  This  is  perfectly  natural  because 
the  players  are  still  in  the  stage  of  develop- 
ment where  they  are  uncertain  of  their  own 

122 


GROUP  PLAY 

In  ^ood  g'roup  plays  children  un- 
consciously share  common  interests. 


This  miniaiure  Commonwealth  is  no 
stronger  than  its  weakest  member. 


Anti-social,  because  the  ^ain  of  one 
is  at  the  expense  of  others. 


.ti 


^fe 


■A 


Team  ^ames  give  opportunity  for- 
Physical  growth. 

Self  control,  planning  and  judgement. 
Fairness  and  co-operation. 


Cooperative  Play  123 

strength  and  feel  the  need  of  constantly 
asserting  it. 

Emerson  has  wisely  said,  * '  There  must  be 
very  two,  before  there  can  be  very  one." 
The  ten-year-old  is  still  engaged  in  clearly 
proving  to  himself  and  to  the  world  his 
strength  and  value  as  an  individual.  He  is 
not  yet  ready  to  become  ''very  one"  with  his 
fellow-players.  But  as  adolescence  casts  its 
shadow  before,  the  boy  and  girl  slowly  be- 
come socialized.  The  boy,  instead  of  engag- 
ing in  single  combat  with  a  rival,  joins  a 
baseball  team  and  plaj^s  not  for  his  own 
glory,  but  for  the  "home-team."  The  girls 
who  used  to  delight  in  tag  and  blind  man's 
buff  are  now  playing  basketball  or  tennis. 

Perhaps  the  truest  test  of  real  physical, 
mental  and  moral  maturity  is  the  ability  to 
work  with  others,  to  sink  self  in  a  common 
effort  for  a  common  good.  I  recall — -as 
doubtless  most  people  can — a  man  of  rather 
unusual  talents,  well  educated  in  the  ac- 
cepted sense  of  that  much-abused  word,  but, 
for  the  real  purposes  of  life,  a  failure.     And 


124     Character  Training  in  Childhood 

why?  Simply  because  he  could  not  '^get 
on"  with  others,  could  not  see  their  point  of 
view,  could  not  subordinate  his  own  person- 
ality. He  did  not  ''play  the  game."  He 
did  not  stand  by  his  fellow  workers.  He 
thought  and  worked  not  for  the  common 
good,  but  for  his  own  special  ends. 

I  did  not  know  that  man  during  his  boy- 
hood, but  I  am  willing  to  wager  that  he  was 
always  a  ''poor  sport. "  He  is  mentally  and 
spiritually  still  in  the  eleven-year-old  stage, 
where  personal  prowess  and  individual 
achievement  seem  the  most  important  thing's 
in  life,  and  where  the  greater  glory  of  co- 
operative effort  is  uncomprehended. 

I  wonder  when  we  shall  fully  realize  that 
our  children  learn  more  from  their  play- 
mates than  from  their  teachers  and  that  the 
playground  wields  a  far  mightier  influence 
than  the  school.  Joseph  Lee,  than  whom  no 
one  understands  better  the  spirit  of  play,  has 
rightly  pointed  out  that  errors  on  the  ball 
field  are  condemned  with  a  promptness  and 
vigor  which,  in  the  school  room,  would  be 


Cooperative  Play  125 

considered  downright  cruel.  Children  will 
take,  from  each  other,  rebukes  that  no 
teacher  would  dream  of  giving.  On  the 
playground  there  is  no  "bluffing."  If  you 
play  the  game  well,  you  are  "all  right."  If 
you  don't,  you  are  "no  good."  If  you  are 
honest  and  work  hard  for  your  side,  you  are 
a  "good  sport."  If  you  do  not,  you  are 
jeered  from  the  playground  as  a  "muff"  or 
a  "piker."  There  is  no  better  training  in 
skill,  courage,  perseverance  and  cooperative- 
ness  than  the  playground,  and  no  stricter 
teachers  than  a  child's  own  playmates. 

One  sometimes  sees  a  parent  blame  a  child 
for  too  great  earnestness  at  play.  A  gentle 
mother,  smoothing  the  fevered  brow  of  her 
wildly  excited  son,  will  exclaim,  "You  have 
run  yourself  almost  to  death.  Don't  get  so 
excited,  dear.     It's  only  a  game.'' 

"Only  a  game"  and  yet  it  was  on  the 
cricket  fields  of  England  that  her  sons 
learned  to  "carry  on."  It  is  on  the  play- 
grounds of  America  that  her  future  citizens 
are  learning  how  to  use  their  muscles  and 


126     Character  Training  in  Childhood 

senses,  how  to  be  keen,  alert  and  swift,  how 
to  dream  and  sing  and  dance  and  create  art, 
how  to  build  and  invent,  how  to  pull  to- 
gether, how  to  forget  self  and  become  part 
of  a  larger  unity. 

Let  us,  in  each  stage  of  our  children's 
growth,  pro\dde  opportunity  for  the  unfold- 
ing self  to  realize  its  fullest  development. 
Let  us  entertain  our  children  less,  but  let 
them  really  play  more.  Children  do  not 
need  theaters,  motion  pictures,  parties, 
elaborate  diversions — they  need  self-expres- 
sion through  play.  If  we  give  them  a 
chance  for  such  self-expression,  we  shall 
have  in  the  next  generation,  more  art,  more 
invention,  more  of  the  religion  of  democ- 
racy. 


IV 

GROWTH  THROUGH  STUDY 


TRAIN  THE  SENSES 

At  what  age  should  education  begin  ? 

This  question,  so  often  asked,  arises  from 
a  false  notion  of  what  the  word  "education" 
means.  We  confuse  the  terms  "education" 
and  "instruction."  Instruction  is  the  giv- 
ing of  information.  Education,  as  a  wise 
man  has  said,  is  "learning  how  to  live." 

If  we  realize  that  education  is  learning 
how  to  live,  it  is  evident  that  education  must 
begin  as  soon  as  life  begins,  and  continue  to 
the  end  of  life.  Education  begins,  not  at 
the  school-house  door,  but  in  the  cradle. 

The  first  step  in  learning  any  trade  is  to 
become  acquainted  with  its  tools.  The  first 
step  in  learning  the  trade  of  living  is  to 
become  acquainted  with  its  tools — our 
senses — and  the  outer  world,  the  material 
upon  which  they  work. 

Of  course  Mother  Nature,  first  and  best  of 

129 


130     Character  Training  in  Childhood 

teachers,  sees  to  it  that  every  normal  baby 
shall  begin  to  use  his  senses  as  soon  as  he 
enters  the  world.  Eyes,  ears,  nose,  mouth 
and  finger  tips  are  busily  occupied  in  inves- 
tigating ever}i;hing  within  reach  or  sight. 
Why,  then,  need  parents  and  teachers  con- 
cern themselves  about  training  children's 
senses?  For  the  reason  that  here,  as  else- 
where, Nature's  training  is  likely  to  be  ir- 
regular, hasty,  rough-and-ready.  We,  how- 
ever, want  our  children  to  form  a  lasting 
}ial:)it  of  observation,  to  be  accurate  in  test- 
ing their  surroundings,  and  to  get  the  great- 
est possible  amount  of  joy  out  of  them. 

The  child  whose  senses  have  been  trained 
only  by  Nature's  hit-or-miss  methods  usu- 
ally grows  into  the  man  or  woman  who  is 
unobservant,  inaccurate,  and  who  therefore 
takes  but  little  aesthetic  pleasure  in  the  beau- 
tiful sights  and  sounds  all  around  us. 

Most  of  us  hardly  realize  how  extremely 
unobservant  and  inaccurate  we  are  until 
some  special  occasion  arises  to  test  us.  In 
his  interesting  and  suggestive  book,  * '  On  the 


TO  MAKE  THE 
SENSES  EFFICIENT 

The  senses  are  ihe  ^ates  by  which 
impressions  enter  the  child's  mind. 
Sense  training  widens  these  ^ates. 


io  know  differences 
m  form,  vveighi:. 
iexiure  and  ^qu  alii  v. 


Train  the  Ear 

io  make  accurate 
distinctions  in 
sounds. 


Train  the  Eye 

to  know  color.  S120. 
form  and  dislanco 


Success  demands  sense  training 


Train  the  Senses  131 

Witness  Stand, '^  Professor  Miinsterberg  de- 
scribes test  after  test  made  by  him  upon  his 
students,  to  determine  the  extent  and  accu- 
racy of  their  powers  of  observation.  His 
sad  conclusion  was  that,  even  among  sup- 
posedly intelligent  college  men,  scarcely  one 
in  a  hundred  had  ever  learned  to  use  his 
eyes  or  ears  for  quick,  accurate  observation 
and  comparison. 

Thus,  upon  one  occasion,  he  asked  his 
class  to  observe  and  report  every  action 
made  by  him  during  the  ensuing  three  min- 
utes, or  so.  He  then,  with  his  right  hand, 
performed  various  acts,  keeping  his  eyes 
fixed  on  this  hand,  while,  with  his  left  he 
opened  his  match  box,  closed  it  with  a  loud 
click,  etc.  None  of  the  students  gave  a  com- 
plete report,  while  a  number  of  them  had 
not  seen  anything  that  he  did  with  his  left 
hand.  This  was  but  one  in  a  long  series  of 
experiments  all  going  to  show  that  the  aver- 
age person  only  half-uses  his  senses  and  can 
never  be  trusted  really  to  see  anything,  even 
if  it  is  "right  under  his  nose,"  as  we  say. 


132     Character  Training  in  Childhood 

With  the  senses  as  the  basis  of  all  our 
knowledge,  and  with  these  senses  so  utterly 
unreliable,  how  can  we  expect  our  vaunted 
"education"  to  be  thorough  or  correct? 

Since,  then,  sense-training  is  the  first  step 
in  mind-training,  how  shall  we  begin  this 
sense-training  in  our  children  ? 

From  earliest  infancy,  the  baby  should  be 
provided  with  a  number  of  objects  of  differ- 
ing sizes,  shapes,  colors  and  texture.  He 
should  also  have  a  variety  of  sound-produc- 
ing articles,  such  as  a  soft  rattle,  a  soft,  mu- 
sical bell,  a  tin  box  containing  small  pebbles 
or  buttons,  another  of  wood,  a  tiny  music 
box,  etc.  Care  should  be  taken  that  these 
toys  produce  pleasing  sounds,  not  ear-split- 
ting, discordant  noises. 

In  choosing  colors,  also,  the  simple,  gay, 
primary  colors  should  be  selected,  such  as 
are  used  in  the  Kindergarten,  for  the  child 
does  not  begin  consciously  to  compare  and 
discriminate  between  the  various  shades 
until  the  second  or  third  year. 


Train  the  Senses  133 

Later,  when  this  instinct  for  comparison 
begins  to  show  itself,  comes  the  time  for  such 
material  as  is  provided  by  the  Kindergarten, 
or  the  Montessori  teacher. 

Luckily  for  the  mother  who  lives  far  from 
any  school,  this  material  can  be  purchased 
for  home  use,  and  much  of  it  can  be  made  at 
home  by  any  clever  set  of  fingers. 

Gradations  of  color  may  be  learned  by 
means  of  colored  Kindergarten  papers,  or 
by  the  cards  wound  with  colored  silk  which 
Montessori  uses,  in  red,  orange,  yellow, 
green,  blue,  violet,  brown,  and  black  (shad- 
ing from  grey  to  white).  Each  color  is 
given  in  eight  shades. 

My  memory  travels  back  to  the  days  when, 
as  an  alleviation  to  the  mumps,  I  was  al- 
lowed to  explore  my  aunt's  embroidery  bag. 
Oh,  what  a  joy  to  lay  out  the  shining  strands 
of  silk,  to  arrange  them  in  order,  to  stroke 
their  satiny  smoothness,  to  see  which  ar- 
rangement of  color  was  prettiest.  Montes- 
sori was  undreamed  of  in  those  days,  but  her 


134     Character  Training  in  Childhood 

''material"  was  as  potent  then  as  now  to 
arouse  and  feed  the  instinct  for  color  and 
beauty. 

Little  children  delight  in  color  "games/' 
each  child  choosing  a  color  and  seeing  which 
one  can  most  quickly  gather  the  cards  of  his 
color  and  arrange  the  shades  in  order.  Or 
one  child  may  be  "it"  and  deal  the  colors 
around,  giving  each  child  only  his  own  color, 
until  he  makes  a  mistake,  when  another 
child  is  "it." 

When  I  was  older,  I  remember  a  delight- 
ful game  where  someone  would  suddenly 
call,  "I  see  something  green."  Then  we 
would  all  gaze  around  trying  to  discover  all 
the  green  things  in  sight  and  guess  which 
one  it  was.  The  successful  guesser  would 
then  choose  something  of  another  color  and 
so  the  game  would  go  on  until  our  inactive 
muscles  called  for  exercise  and  we  were  off 
for  a  game  of  tag. 

The  sense  of  touch  is  trained  in  both  kin- 
dergarten and  the  Montessori  system  by  a 
variety   of   material   of   various   textures. 


Train  the  Senses  135 

The  children  are  taught  to  wash  the  hands 
often,  so  that  the  finger  tips  may  be  sensi- 
tive. Then  the  eyes  are  closed  and  the  en- 
tire mind  concentrated  in  the  pink  fingers 
which  explore  every  surface  and  angle,  as  a 
blind  person  does.  Madame  Montessori 
says,  ''They  are  very  proud  of  seeing  tvith- 
out  eyes,  holding  out  their  hands  and  crying, 
'Here  are  my  eyes  I'  'I  can  see  with  my 
hands!'  " 

In  any  home,  the  little  ones  will  love  this 
"Touch  and  Guess  game,"  where,  with  blind 
folded  eyes,  they  explore  and  recognize  vari- 
ous objects,  or  learn,  by  stroking  its  surface, 
to  distinguish  between  the  newspaper,  a  bit 
of  cardboard,  and  a  piece  of  sand-paper,  and 
between  silk,  satin,  wool,  velvet  and  cotton 
cloth. 

Among  the  Montessori  material  are 
wooden  insets  of  varied  shapes  and  sizes, 
which  fit  into  corresponding  holes  in  a 
board.  These  appeal  both  to  the  eye  and 
to  the  sense  of  touch.  Few  people  realize 
that,  in  a  little  child,  the  sense  of  touch  is 


136     Character  Training  in  Childhood 

much  more  developed  than  that  of  sight. 
Our  injunction  to  the  little  child  to  ''look 
with  his  eyes,  not  his  fingers,"  and  our  con- 
stant warning,  "Mustn't  touch!"  go  against 
every  grain  of  the  child's  nature.  He  needs 
to  touch  in  order  fully  to  see. 

Hence  the  little  child  will  run  his  finger 
along  the  edge  of  the  triangular  inset,  feel 
carefully  the  edges  of  the  holes  in  the  board 
and  triumphantly  put  the  triangle  into  its 
proper  hole.  If  he  is  not  allowed  to  do  this, 
but  must  use  only  his  eye  as  a  guide,  he  is 
slow  and  puzzled.  Mrs.  Fisher,  in  her  de- 
lightful book,  "A  Montessori  Mother," 
points  out  that  the  child's  pleasure  in  this 
simple  activity  is  exactly  the  same — though 
in  an  elementary  form — as  the  adult 's  pleas- 
ure in  a  picture  puzzle. 

The  sense  of  hearing  may  be  trained  by 
many  charming  games.  There  is  the  old 
game  of  guessing  "who  is  who"  by  listening 
to  the  voices  of  the  players.  There  are  the 
singing  games  of  the  kindergarten.  The 
smaller  children  will  delight  in  seeing  who 


Train  the  Senses  137 

can  hear  and  name  the  greatest  number  of 
sounds — the  clock,  the  buzzing  fly,  the  wind, 
a  passing  cart,  the  chirp  of  birds,  the  drip- 
ping faucet — all  the  multitude  of  unnoticed 
sounds  within  and  outside  the  house. 

The  sense  of  taste  and  that  of  smell  are 
less  important  than  the  others,  but  cliildren 
enjoy  tasting  and  smelling  with  closed  eyes, 
to  see  how  accurate  are  their  senses. 

We  cannot  all  send  our  children  to  Kin- 
dergarten or  to  a  "House  of  Childhood." 
Perhaps  it  is  not  desirable  that  we  should, 
for  the  country  child  has  benefits,  both  phys- 
ical and  spiritual,  that  the  city  child  must 
forfeit.  But  every  child  can  and  should 
receive,  in  his  home,  during  the  years  from 
infancy  to  six,  such  training  of  eyes,  ears 
and  finger-tips  as  will  give  him  the  habit  of 
observation,  the  ability  to  observe  accu- 
rately, and  a  real  joy  in  using  his  senses 
aright. 


MAKE  THE  IMAGINATION 
SERVICEABLE 

The  years  between  three  and  six,  as  I  have 
already  said,  are  those  when  the  imagination 
is  most  active  and  much  depends  upon  the 
training  which  it  receives  at  this  time  and 
upon  the  sort  of  food  with  which  it  is  fed. 
Much  depends  also  upon  whether  the  imagi- 
nation is  frittered  away  in  day-dreaming,  or 
whether  it  is  rendered  practical  and  service- 
able. 

We  are  all  familiar  with  the  person  whose 
imagination  serves  merely  to  feed  his  own 
vanity,  who  is  eternally  using  his  imagina- 
tion to  fool  himself.  I  know  a  man  of  this 
type  who  spends  his  time  in  forming  vast 
projects  and  whose  dream  is  to  be  the  head 
of  some  great  movement.  He  loves,  unham- 
pered by  any  practical  considerations,  to 
outline  Utopian  schemes  for  a  better  uni- 

138 


Make  the  Imagination  Serviceable    139 

verse.  But  he  loftily  disclaims  any  interest 
in  details, — they  must  be  worked  out  by 
lesser  minds  than  his.  He  is  proud  of  being 
**a  man  of  vision,"  whereas  he  is  in  reality 
a  visionary,  selfi-shly  lying  on  his  back  ad- 
miring the  mountain-top  while  others  are 
struggling  to  find  a  path  to  the  summit. 

Now  how  shall  we  preserve  our  children's 
imaginative  vision,  and  yet  see  that  they 
do  not  degenerate  into  selfish  visionaries? 
How  shall  we  make  their  imaginations  serv- 
iceable ? 

For  one  thing  we  must  help  them  to  dis- 
tinguish clearly  between  the  inner  truths 
of  the  Imagination  and  the  outer  truths  of 
Fact.  We  must  not  let  them  dwell,  like  my 
visionary  friend,  in  the  hazy  No  Man's  Land 
where  wishes  masquerade  as  facts,  and  im- 
agination takes  the  place  of  will-power. 

For  instance,  suppose  Ruth  and  Grace 
start  a  friendly  contest  as  to  which  loves 
Mother  more.     "I  love  her  hundreds." 

^'I  love  her  thousands." 

"I  love  her  millions." 


140     Character  Training  in  Childhood 

*'I  gave  her  a  silk  dress. '^ 

"I  gave  her  an  automobile." 

**I  gave  her  a  string  of  diamonds," — And 
so  on  and  on  until  Mother  laughingly  says, 
**0h  thank  you  both  so  much.  Those  were 
perfectly  beautiful  make-believe  presents. 
Now  I  wonder  which  one  really  wants  to  do 
something  for  me.  How  about  setting  the 
dinner-table?" 

We  must  never  make  light  of  our  chil- 
dren's fancies,  nor  crush  them  by  laying  the 
hand  of  reality  too  heavily  upon  them;  but 
we  must  try,  as  in  the  example  just  given, 
to  see  that  the  generous  and  charming  imag- 
ination is  translated  into  equally  fine  action. 
If  Jack  loves  to  fancy  himself  a  knight  on  a 
prancing  steed,  by  all  means  encourage  him ; 
but  help  him  to  the  real  knightly  spirit  of 
courtesy,  honor,  and  helpfulness.  Help  him 
to  make  his  dream  come  true.  If  Kather- 
ine  enjoys  playing  that  she  is  a  queen,  do  not 
discourage  her  dream,  but  show  her  that  a 
queen,  above  others,  is  expected  to  be  brave, 
wise    and    generous.     Tell    her    about    the 


Make  the  Imagination  Serviceable     141 

brave,  steadfast  queen  of  Belgium  and  the 
tender,  generous  queen  of  Italy,  who  helped 
her  stricken  people  when  the  earthquake 
came.  Lead  her  to  see  that  being  a  queen 
is  not  merely  a  matter  of  pretty  imagin- 
ings, but  of  real  character. 

I  emphasize  so  strongly  this  training  in 
making  the  imagination  a  real,  vital  thing, 
linked  up  with  actual  life,  because  the  pres- 
ent crisis  has  shown  us  how  few  of  our  pub- 
lic men  have  both  vision  and  practical  sense. 
Those  who  have  imagination  are  mostly  im- 
practical visionaries;  those  with  judgment 
and  will-power  are  conservative  reaction- 
aries. Meanwhile,  the  country  cries  aloud 
for  the  man  of  truly  creative  imagination 
who  can  make  our  dream  of  human  broth- 
erhood come  true.  It  is  for  those  who  are 
training  the  men  of  tomorrow  to  see  that 
their  imaginations  are  made  truly  service- 
able to  themselves  and  their  fellows. 

Another  aspect  of  the  imagination  lies  in 
the  fact  that  active  imagination  may  lead 
to  deceptiveness.     Many  imaginative  chil- 


142     Character  Training  in  Childhood 

dren  concoct  amazing  yarns  in  order  to  im- 
press their  playmates.  I  have  a  vivid  mem- 
ory of  the  manner  in  which,  at  about  seven 
years  old,  I  strove  to  impress  my  social  im- 
portance on  my  little  seat-mate  at  school  by 
the  most  unblushing  stories  about  the  won- 
derful jewelry,  the  gorgeous  clothing,  the 
marvelous  talking  doll,  and  countless  other 
treasures  that  were  mine.  These  tales  were 
never  told  except  when  Nell  and  I  were 
alone,  so  that  no  grownup  checked  my  per- 
formances. However,  I  had,  in  general, 
been  so  drilled  in  truthfulness,  that  I  soon 
became  ashamed  of  myself  and  returned  to 
the  paths  of  veracity. 

This  early  experience  of  my  own  makes 
me  feel  that  we  should  not  harshly  reprove 
such  imaginative  yarns,  but  neither  should 
we  let  them  go  unnoticed.  A  small  girl  once 
said  to  me,  ''I  have  a  lovely  little  brown  pony 
in  the  country.  I  can  ride  him  whenever  I 
want  to.'* 

The  impulse  of  the  conscientious,  but  un- 
imaginative adult  is  to  answer  such  a  remark 


Make  the  Imagination  Serviceable    143 

by  saying,  ''You  have  nothing  of  the  kind. 
Don't  you  know  that  it  is  wicked  to  tell 
lies?'^  But  remembering  my  own  youthful 
experience,  I  could  not  bring  myself  to  dash 
her  fancy,  so  I  replied,  "Now  isn't  it  lovely 
to  have  a  make-believe  pony  like  that! 
When  I  was  a  little  girl  of  your  age,  I  used 
to  have  a  make-believe  pony,  too.  Mine  was 
black.     What  color  is  yours?" 

"Mine  is  brown,  with  white  spots,"  she 
gaily  answered,  "and  he  eats  sugar  out  of 
my  hand. ' '  And  so  she  went  on  for  half  an 
hour  describing  all  the  delightful  things  she 
could  do  with  her  pony. 

This  is  a  very  simple  illustration,  but  I 
give  it  to  show  how  easily  one  can  encourage 
a  child's  happy  fancies,  without  for  a  mo- 
ment allowing  him  to  confuse  truth  with 
falsehood.  Little  Helen  at  once,  and  hap- 
pily, acquiesced  in  my  assumption  that  her 
pony  was  "make-believe,"  and  any  desire 
that  she  may  have  had  to  deceive  me  was  dis- 
armed by  my  sympathetic  chiming-in  with 
her  fancy. 


144     Character  Training  in  Childhood 

Helen  was  an  extremely  imaginative 
child  and  of  a  secretive  disposition,  so  that 
her  fertile  imagination  enabled  her  to  frame 
elaborate  falsehoods  to  cover  any  fault  that 
she  committed.  She  never,  however,  con- 
fused these  wilful  lies  with  mere  "make- 
believe.  ' '  She  knew  the  difference  perfectly 
well,  as  any  intelligent  child  does. 

Right  here  is  where  many  sympathetic 
adults  make  a  great  mistake.  I  have  re- 
peatedly heard  people  say,  "All  little  chil- 
dren tell  lies.  Their  imaginations  are  so 
active  that  they  don't  know  the  difference 
between  make-believe  and  lying." 

I  am  quite  sure  that  anyone  who  remem- 
bers his  own  childhood  clearly  will  deny 
the  truth  of  this  statement.  I  know  that 
when  I  "stuffed"  Nell  with  tales  of  gran- 
deur, I  realized  that  I  was  deceiving  her, 
and,  though  I  did  not  put  it  into  words,  I 
knew  that  "make-believe"  and  deceit  were 
two  utterly  different  things. 

The  same  thing  was  true  of  Helen.  One 
day  she  told  me  a  marvelous  tale  about  hav- 


Make  the  Imagination  Serviceable     145 

ing  ridden  on  an  elephant.  I  made  some 
laughing  reply  about  having  ridden  on  a 
make-believe  kangaroo,  to  which  she  said, 
'*But  I  really  did."  I  did  not  reprove  her, 
but  merely  said,  ''Oh  no,  dear,  not  really. 
You  mustn't  say  'really'  unless  it  was  really, 
you  know."  And  she  straightway  agreed, 
"Well  of  course,  it  wasn't  quite  really.  But 
once  I  really  did  ride  on  a  cow,  up  in  the 
country. ' ' 

And  often,  after  that,  when  she  was  about 
to  launch  on  a  wild  tale,  Helen  would  turn 
to  me  and  say,  "Of  course  this  isn't  real, 
Auntie,  it's  just  make-believe." 

Nor,  when  she  told  stories  to  cover  her 
naughtiness,  did  I  ever  know  Helen  to  be- 
come confused  as  to  the  truth.  She  knew 
perfectly  w^ell  that  she  was  not  "making 
believe,"  but  deceiving. 

Deceitfulness  is  a  hateful  and  destructive 
trait.  Imagination  may  make  deceit  suc- 
cessful, but  the  two  qualities  have  nothing  in 
conmion. 

Luckily,  children  are  naturally  imagina- 


146     Character  Training  in  Childhood 

tive,  but  they  are  not,  usually,  deceitful  un- 
less they  are  made  so  by  example,  by  unwise 
treatment,  or  by  too  harsh  punishment  or 
threats  of  punishment. 

We  must  be  absolutely  truthful  ourselves 
if  we  expect  our  children  to  be  so.  We  must 
not  put  them  off  with  thinly  veiled  lies  or 
quickly  broken  promises.  They  should  see 
in  their  parents  an  embodiment  of  that  eter- 
nal truth  on  which  life  is  based. 

Secondly,  we  must  not,  as  I  have  indi- 
cated, excuse  falsehood  or  make  light  of  it 
on  the  ground  that  it  is  merely  imagination. 
Deceit  is  not  imagination  and  every  child 
knows  it. 

Thirdly,  we  must  beware  of  frightening 
the  timid  child  into  untruthfulness.  False- 
hood is  often  the  defense  of  weakness  against 
strength.  Therefore  our  children  should  al- 
ways feel  that  father  and  mother  are  sym- 
pathetic, understanding  friends,  whom  he 
would  no  more  deceive  than  he  would  de- 
ceive himself. 

A  child  so  trained  in  truth  by  example, 


Make  the  Imagination  Serviceable    147 

sympathy  and  tenderness  will  enjoy  to  the 
full  his  imaginative  powers  without  fall- 
ing into  the  danger  of  deceit.  If  our  chil- 
dren are  imtruthful,  the  fault  generally  lies 
with  ourselves. 


STUDIES  AND  LIFE 

The  cMld  whose  senses  have  been  trained 
and  whose  imagination  has  been  fostered  in 
the  home  is  fitted  to  make  the  most  of  the 
richer  and  more  varied  experiences  of 
school  life;  but  where  shall  we  find  the 
school  which  will  make  the  most  of  himf 

The  average  parent  does  not  ask  himself 
this  question,  for  the  simple  reason  that  he 
has  no  choice.  He  cannot  select  the  school 
best  adapted  to  his  child's  special  needs;  he 
must  perforce  send  him  to  the  nearest  pub- 
lic school,  and  let  the  child  adapt  himself  to 
it. 

But  sometimes  a  choice  can  be  made,  and 
in  any  case  it  is  not  fair  to  "dump"  a  child 
into  a  school  and  wash  one's  hands  of  him, 
as  so  many  parents  do.  Justice  to  both  child 
and  school  demands  that  parents  shall  un- 
derstand the  school's  aims  and  methods  and 

148 


RELATING  SCHOOL  WORK 
TO  LIFE 

An  efficient  school  teaches  children: 

How  io  live     Hygiene 

Where  we  live  Geography 

How  to  reckon Mathematics 

How  we  think Psychology 

How  we  communicate.  Language 

How  things  act .Physical  science 

How  others  have  lived     History 

What  others  have  thou^lit    Literature 

How  to  do  thin^i;    ^...-. Manual  trainmg 

How  to  ox  press  beauty.  ..The  arts 

How  to  cooperate Groupi  work  and  play 


'.Hi 


Study  to  know  life  and  its  laws. 


Studies  and  Life  149 

cooperate  with  the  teachers  in  every  way 
possible. 

Every  teacher  can  relate,  out  of  a  vast  ex- 
perience, such  stories  as  the  one  about  little 
Isidor,  in  whose  school  practical  hygiene 
was  being  introduced.  One  morning  his 
mother  sent  him  to  school  with  the  following 
note:  ''Deer  Teecher,  I  don't  want  you 
should  waste  time  washing  Izzie  in  school. 
I  don't  send  him  to  school  to  get  washed,  but 
to  get  learnt." 

Few  parents  express  themselves  so  forci- 
bly and  picturesquely  as  Izzie 's  mother,  but 
are  there  not  multitudes  who  have  an  equally 
false  notion  of  what  the  school  is  really  try- 
ing to  do  with  their  children  ? 

I  am  not  advocating  interference  or  dic- 
tation on  the  part  of  parents,  but  surely 
mothers  and  fathers  should  make  time  to 
visit  the  school  occasionally,  familiarize 
themselves  with  its  aims  and  methods,  and 
make  friends  with  the  teachers  who  are 
molding  the  minds  and  souls  of  their  chil- 
dren.    The  parent  who  fails  to  do  this  has 


150     Character  Training  in  Childhood 

no  right  to  criticise  the  school, — ranch  less  to 
uphold  the  child  in  such  criticism.  If  we 
are  not  interested  enough  in  our  own  chil- 
dren to  know  and  help  their  teachers,  we 
should  have  the  decency  to  refrain  from  un- 
dermining the  teacher's  influence  by  taking 
the  child's  part  against  her. 

One  of  the  most  hopeful  signs  of  a  better 
education  coming  is  the  fact  that  Parent- 
Teacher  Associations  are  springing  up  all 
over  the  country.  Parents  and  teachers, 
home  and  school,  are  learning  the  magic 
word,  cooperation,  and  the  child  will  be  im- 
measurably the  gainer  thereby.  Every 
school  in  the  country  should  have  such  a  un- 
ion of  school  and  home,  in  order  that  our 
children,  who  are  units,  may  be  treated  as 
units,  and  that  every  good  force  in  their 
lives  may  work  with  united  strength  for 
their  welfare.  His  mother  is  a  child's  first 
teacher,  and  his  teacher  is  often  a  second 
mother  to  him.  Is  it  not  the  duty  of  both 
to  "get  together,"  that  both  may  better  un- 
derstand and  aid  him  *? 


Studies  and  Life  151 

And  now  what  have  we  a  right  to  expect 
"education"  to  do  for  our  children?  What 
is  a  really  efficient  school? 

The  answers  will  be  as  various  as  the 
points  of  view  of  the  speakers,  but  there  are 
certain  fundamental  things  which  the  school 
should  do  upon  which  I  believe  we  all,  at 
heart,  agree. 

For  one  thing,  no  school  can  be  called  ef- 
ficient which  does  not  foster  health,  both  by 
hygienic  surroundings  and  by  sound  and  in- 
sx^iring  teaching  of  hygiene.  This  means 
airy,  or  outdoor  rooms,  cleanliness,  suitable 
furniture,  well  printed  text-books,  ample 
outdoor  play-space  and  a  warm  luncheon. 
It  means  physical  examination  of  each  child 
at  least  twice  a  year  and  follow-up  work  by 
the  school  doctor  and  nurse.  It  means 
plenty  of  opportunity  for  gymnastic  and 
other  exercises.  Lastly,  it  means  teaching 
the  elements  of  hygiene  by  some  such  inter- 
esting, lively  method  as  that  of  The  Modern 
Health  Crusade,  where  the  whole  emphasis 
is  on  doing.     The  school  which  does  not  make 


152     Character  Training  in  Childhood 

its  children  healthier,  more  interested  in 
health  and  better  equipped  to  maintain  their 
health  cannot  be  said  to  educate  them  in  any 
true  sense. 

Secondly,  at  the  risk  of  being  called  old 
fashioned,  I  must  declare  my  conviction  that 
"the  three  R's"  lie  at  the  root  of  any  sound, 
modern  educational  effort.  The  child  who 
does  not,  before  he  leaves  school,  learn  to 
read  without  conscious  effort,  express  him- 
self easily  and  clearly  in  a  properly  spelled 
letter,  and  perform  quickly  and  correctly 
the  simpler  mathematical  operations  re- 
mains under  a  horrible  handicap  for  life.  I 
know  that  exceptional  men  have  learned  to 
do  all  these  things  late  in  life,  but  we  are  not 
educating  exceptional  men,  but  average  ones, 
and  the  average  man  who  does  not  learn  to 
spell  in  school  will  never  learn. 

On  the  other  hand,  the  boy  who  leaves 
school  early,  but  who  has  thoroughly  mas- 
tered ''the  three  R's"  has  in  his  own  hands 
the  keys  to  further  and  broader  education. 


Stmlies  and  Life  153 

The  school  has  given  him  the  tools, — it  is 
'*up  to  him"  to  make  use  of  them. 

Thirdly,  the  efficient  school  must  show  the 
child  how  to  study.  It  must  cultivate  con- 
centration, and  persistence  and  accustom  the 
children  to  the  use  of  dictionaries,  encyclo- 
pedias, and  other  reference  books.  In  a 
word,  it  must  show  them  how  to  find  out  the 
things  they  wish  to  know. 

The  immortal  ''Mr.  Dooley"  was  right 
when  he  said,  "You  can  lead  a  boy  to  col- 
lege, but  you  can 't  make  him  think. ' '  Noth- 
ing but  the  boy's  own  interest  and  will  power 
can  make  him  think,  but  the  efficient  school, 
instead  of  stifling  the  natural  impulse  to 
think,  as  many  schools  do ;  can  foster  it  by 
interesting  material,  inspiring  teachers, 
training  in  liotv  to  think  effectively. 

Fourthly,  the  school  must  give  the  child 
an  opportunity  to  express  himself,  through 
original  composition,  through  dramatic 
reading  or  acting,  through  music,  art,  mod- 
elling, cooking  or  manual  training.     Every 


154     Character  Training  in  Childhood 

branch  of  school  work  should  be  made  a 
means  for  expressing  the  child's  individ- 
uality. Even  such  subjects  as  spelling  and 
arithmetic  can  be  made  to  serve  this  end  by 
allowing  the  children  to  make  up  lists  of 
test  words  or  original  problems.  In  the 
cooking  classes,  there  is  no  reason  why,  hav- 
ing mastered  certain  principles,  the  children 
should  not  originate  new  combinations  or 
dishes.  Music,  art  and  dancing  are  delight- 
ful and  valuable  activities,  but  we  make  a 
great  mistake  in  assuming  that  they  are  the 
only,  or  necessarily  the  best  means  of  self- 
expression.  Our  children  need  to  put  them- 
selves, their  own  creative  impulses,  into  all 
they  do.  Thus  shall  they  turn  drudgery  into 
art  and  learn  one  of  the  great  secrets  of  a 
useful  and  happy  life. 

Here  then  are  the  four  main  things 
which  we  have  a  right  to  expect  from  any 
efficient  school, — any  school  that  is  honestly 
trying  to  develop  and  educate  its  children, 
to  prepare  them  for  life,  not  merely  to  in- 
struct them.     Whether  we  select  a  private 


Studies  and  Life  155 

school,  or  prefer  a  public  one,  we  should,  by 
our  influence  and  sympathetic  cooperation, 
help  that  school  to  foster  good  health,  give 
the  children  a  thorough  grounding  in  the 
** elementary"  studies,  teach  them  how  to 
study,  and  develop  their  powers  of  origin- 
ality and  self  expression. 


EFFECTIVE  THINKING 

Bronson  Alcott,  one  of  the  most  inspiring 
of  teachers,  once  said, ' '  Thought  means  life, 
since  those  who  do  not  think  do  not  live  in 
any  high  or  real  sense. " 

How  can  we,  in  school  and  at  home,  help 
our  children  to  think  effectively,  in  order 
that  they  may  live  effectively  ? 

I  think  this  question  can  best  be  answered 
by  pointing  out  some  of  the  ways  in  which, 
all  unconsciously,  we  check  and  discour- 
age the  child's  tendency  to  think.  If  we 
reverse  these  'things  which  we  ought  not 
to  have  done,"  we  shall  gain  a  better  idea  of 
"those  things  which  we  ought  to  have  done.'^ 

Our  first  capital  error  is  the  way  in  which 
we  meet  the  eternal  questions  of  the  small 
boy  or  girl. 

We  usually  go  to  one  extreme  or  the  other. 
Thus,  on  the  railway  journey,  small  Son  is 

156 


WHAT  EFFECTIVE  THINKING 
MEANS  IN  LIFE 

H  Drinks  order  out  of  chaos 

Leads  to  definite  plans 

Prevents  drifting 

Concentrates  on  the  important  thing 

Makes  every  moment  count 

Cuts  off  waste  motion 

Keeps  one's  eye  on  the  goal 


.Actual  ihinking  is  essential  to 
any  leader  or  captain  in 
every  kind  of  human  aclixity 

The  child  trained  io  think 
becomes  an  efficient  man 


Elective  TJiinking  157 

an  animated  questionnaire.  "Where  is  this 
train  going?"  "What  keeps  it  on  the 
rails?"  "Why  did  that  whistle  blow?" 
"What  are  we  stopi3ing  for?"  "Where  do 
the  cinders  come  from?"  "Why  can't  I 
lean  out  of  the  window  ?" 

We  all  know  the  parent  who ' ' can't  be  both- 
ered." He  or  she  sits  peacefully  reading  a 
magazine  and  pays  no  more  attention  to 
small  Son's  questions  than  if  they  were  the 
buzzing  of  a  fly  on  the  window-pane.  If  Son 
is  extremely  persistent,  Parent  finally  ex- 
claims, in  exasperated  tones,  "Do  for  pity's 
sake  keep  quiet  and  let  me  read  in  peace. 
There, — there's  ten  cents  to  buy  some  gum 
from  the  candy  man  when  he  comes  around. ". 
And  having  thus  effectually  stopped  Son's 
mouth  and,  so  far  as  possible,  squelched  his 
thirst  for  information.  Parent,  with  a  sigh 
of  relief,  returns  to  his  magazine. 

Now  the  desire  for  knowledge,  constantly 
balked  in  this  way,  will  eventually  die  out  of 
Son's  breast.  He  will  cease  to  ask  questions, 
accept  all  the  strange  and  baffling  things  in 


158     Character  Training  in  Childhood 

life  with  a  placid  lack  of  inquiry  or  interest, 
and  will  no  longer  trouble  anyone  by  his  in- 
convenient habit  of  thinking. 

At  the  other  extreme  is  the  conscientious, 
devoted  parent  who  answers  every  question, 
attempts  to  explain  everything  and  does  all 
of  Son's  thinking  for  him.  To  Son's  query, 
"Where  do  the  cinders  come  from?"  Par- 
ent replies  with  a  careful  description  of  how 
the  engine  is  run  by  means  of  a  fire  fed  with 
coal  and  how  the  cinders  are  tiny  fragments 
of  coal  blown  back  from  this  fire  by  the  wind. 
Son  may  listen  to  this  entire  explanation 
with  interest,  if  it  is  told  clearly  and  enter- 
tainingly. The  chances  are,  however,  that 
he  will  tire  before  Parent  does,  will  scarcely 
listen  to  the  whole  lecture,  and  will  start 
thinking  up  some  fresh  question. 

The  truth  is  that  by  having  his  thinking 
done  for  him  in  this  way  Son  is  being  trained 
away  from  the  habit  of  thought  almost  as 
effectually  as  if  his  thinking  were  being 
balked  and  suppressed.  Children  ask  an 
enormous  number  of  questions  from  sheer 


Effective  Thinking  159 

mental  laziness,  because  it  is  easier  to  ask 
questions  than  to  think  things  out. 

To  my  mind,  the  only  way  to  make  a  child 
think  is  to  refuse  to  do  his  thinking  for  him. 
Unless  Son  is  very  small  indeed  he  must 
have  observed  that  engines  are  run  by  means 
of  a  fire  fed  by  coal.  His  query  about  the 
cinders  might  better  have  been  met  there- 
fore, by  asking  him,  ^*Well,  what  do  you 
think  about  it?"  Son,  with  a  moment's 
thought,  will  probably  arrive  at  the  right 
conclusion.  At  any  rate,  it  will  do  him  good 
to  ''rack  his  brains"  a  bit,  and  if  his  ques- 
tions are  met  in  this  way,  he  will  form  the 
habit  of  really  trying  to  think  and  frame  a 
reasonable  theory  for  himself  without  rush- 
ing to  someone  else  for  information. 
Brains,  like  muscles,  need  exercise,  and  you 
can  no  more  develop  a  child 's  mind  by  doing 
his  thinking  for  him  than  you  can 
strengthen  his  legs  by  letting  him  lie  abed 
while  you  take  a  ten  mile  walk. 

Very  much  akin  to  this  mistake  is  the 
fashion  that  many  parents  have  of  deciding 


160    Character  Training  in  Childhood 

and  planning  everything  for  their  children. 
My  neighbor,  Mrs.  A.,  a  most  capable  and 
strong  willed  woman,  is  proud  of  the  sensi- 
ble, efficient  way  in  which  she  runs  her 
household.  In  the  morning,  I  can  hear  her, 
through  the  open  windows,  marshalling  her 
brood,  telling  them  exactly  what  to  do  and 
arranging  everything  with  admirable  sense 
and  foresight.  ''Put  on  your  blue  necktie, 
George.  The  red  one  doesn't  go  well  with 
that  shirt."  "Don't  forget  that  library 
book,  Dora.  I've  put  it  with  the  five  cents 
for  the  fine  on  the  table."  "Nellie,  before 
you  go,  be  sure  to  let  me  hear  your  spelling." 
And  so  she  goes,  on  and  on,  planning,  set- 
tling every  point,  leaving  not  a  loophole  for 
any  of  her  children, — who  range  from  eight 
to  fourteen  years, — to  jjlan  or  decide  for 
themselves.  The  mother  with  "executive 
ability"  of  this  sort  is  training  her  children 
in  dependence,  heedlessness  and  utter  lack  of 
effective  thinking.  She  is  exercising  her 
powers  of  judgment,  decision  and  foresight 
at  the  expense  of  theirs. 


Effective  Thinking  161 

One  of  the  most  vital  elements  in  effective 
thinking  is  the  power  of  concentration,  the 
ability  to  pin  one's  thought  down  and  not 
allow  it  to  float  away  on  the  tide  of  distract- 
ing sights,  sounds,  or  thoughts.  Here  is 
where  we  grownups  do  a  great  injustice  to 
our  children,  for  we  are  constantly  distract- 
ing them  and  breaking  up  their  chains  of 
thought  and  action  for  our  own  convenience. 

The  baby,  instead  of  being  given  one  toy  at 
a  time,  is  provided  with  a  multitude,  so  that 
his  wavering  attention  rambles  fitfully  in- 
stead of  learning  to  concentrate  itself.  The 
older  boy  or  girl,  just  as  he  or  she  is  deeply 
immersed  in  some  problem  of  work  or  play, 
is  more  than  likely  to  be  called  away  to  per- 
form some  errand.  All  John's  faculties 
may  be  centered  on  his  wireless  outfit,  all 
Mary's  energies  may  be  focused  on  solving 
her  arithmetic  problems,  but  Mother  com- 
plains that  they  "pay  no  attention  when  she 
calls. "  She  ought  to  rejoice  at  their  powers 
of  concentration,  instead  of  regretting  the 
slight  inconvenience  to  herself. 


162     Character  Training  in  Childhood 

I  do  not  know  how  we  expect  children  to 
be  able  to  concentrate,  when  we  give  them  so 
little  chance  to  do  so.  Of  course  it  is  quite 
right  that  both  boys  and  girls  should  help  in 
the  home  by  running  errands  and  doing  reg- 
ular, set  tasks,  but  they  should  not  be  kept 
*'on  tap"  at  all  hours,  ready  to  drop  what- 
ever they  are  doing.  Anyone  who  has  ever 
tried  to  write,  or  do  any  consecutive,  con- 
structive thinking,  amid  continual  interrup- 
tions, knows  how  extremely  difficult  it  is, 
— ^how  the  attention,  constantly  mthdrawn, 
constantly  dragged  back  to  the  subject  in 
hand,  at  last  flags  utterly  and  refuses  to  go 
further. 

Exactly  the  same  thing  happens  to  a  child 
whose  play  or  work  is  subject  to  grown-up 
interruptions  at  every  moment.  If  lessons 
are  studied  at  home,  a  certain  time  should 
be  set  aside  for  that  purpose  and  neither 
play  nor  other  work  be  allowed  to  break 
into  the  study  hour,  which  is  sacred  to  study 
and  nothing  else. 

A  child  who  is  naturally  weak  in  concen- 


Effective  Thinking  163 

tration  should  not  be  expected  to  study 
among  a  roomful  of  distracting  sights  and 
sounds,  but  should  have  a  quiet  spot,  alone 
if  possible,  where  he  is  absolutely  undis- 
turbed, and  he  should  be  given  every  incen- 
tive to  prove  his  concentration  by  getting 
his  lesson  as  quickly  as  possible.  Students 
who  master  a  lesson  very  rapidly  are  fre- 
quently no  brighter  than  others,  but  they 
have  learned  to  "work  while  they  work." 

The  child  who  takes  "all  day"  at  his  les- 
sons, as  his  despairing  teacher  says,  is 
usually  not  dull;  but  he  has  never  learned 
to  control  his  thoughts, — they  control  him. 
Such  a  boy  sits  with  his  book  before  him,  but 
he  hears  a  fly  buzz  and  looks  about  to  find 
it.  Then  he  reads  a  line  or  two,  looks  up 
and  catches  the  eye  of  a  chum,  throws  a 
paper  wad  at  him,  and  dives  again  into  his 
book.  He  reads  vigorously  for  a  few  mo- 
ments, but  a  sound  in  the  hall  distracts  him. 
He  plunges  his  hand  into  his  pocket  and 
draws  out  a  string,  with  which  he  is  soon 
making  a  variety  of  knots.     This  pleasant 


164     Character  Training  in  Childhood 

occupation  is  interrupted  by  the  striking  of 
the  hour,  and  our  young  man  comjDlains  to 
his  teacher  that  ''the  lesson  was  too  long.  I 
studied  a  whole  hour  and  didn't  half  finish 
it.'^ 

I  know  that  many  people  will  say,  "But 
the  secret  of  getting  a  child  to  concentrate  is 
to  interest  him.  He  cannot  concentrate  on 
what  does  not  interest  him,  but  give  him  a 
lesson  which  will  really  appeal  to  him  and  he 
will  concentrate  well  enough." 

There  is  considerable  truth  in  this  argu- 
ment, but  I  believe  there  is  an  equal  amount 
of  error.  By  all  means  let  us  make  our  chil- 
dren's  tasks  as  lively  and  appealing  as  possi- 
ble, but  let  us  never  forget  that  the  really 
strong  man  is  the  one  who,  if  a  task  is  set 
before  him,  takes  interest  in  it  and  puts  his 
whole  mind  and  soul  into  mastering  it  as 
speedily  as  possible.  Gilbert  Chesterton 
was  right  in  saying  that  there  are  no  unin- 
teresting things  in  the  universe, — there  are 
only  uninterested  people.  Anyone  who 
tackles  a  problem  with  his  whole,  undivided 


Effective  Thinking  165 

attention  makes  it,  for  the  time,  the  most  in- 
teresting thing  in  his  universe. 

What  we  want  is  not  the  mere  will-less 
concentration  that  springs  from  a  fascinat- 
ing object.  We  want  our  children  to  learn 
the  willed  concentration  that  springs  from 
real  mental  power. 

When  the  boy  becomes  a  man,  he  will  not, 
as  a  rule,  be  offered  a  number  of  opportuni- 
ties from  which  he  has  only  to  select  the  one 
that  he  finds  most  interesting.  He  is  much 
more  likely  to  find  himself  faced  with  some- 
thing that  must  be  done,  and  to  discover  that 
his  choice  lies  between  doing  it  half-heart- 
edly and  inefficiently,  or  doing  it  interestedly 
and  with  all  his  might. 

The  spirit  in  which  he  meets  that  choice  is 
the  test  of  whether  or  not  he  is  the  master  of 
his  own  brain.  The  outcome  of  that  choice 
will  determine  his  whole  future  success. 


DEVELOP  SELF-EXPRESSION 

The  final  end  and  aim  of  all  thought  and 
all  education  is  summed  up  in  the  word 
"self-expression,"  literally  the  pressing  out- 
ward of  that  inmost  self  which  lies  hidden 
in  each  of  us. 

The  child  learns  to  read  and  write  in  or- 
der that  he  may  not  be  limited  to  speech 
communication,  but  may  freely  send  out 
his  thoughts.  He  studies  history  and 
geography  that  he  may  o'erleap  the  bounds 
of  time  and  space,  understanding  and  sym- 
pathizing with  men  of  all  times  and  coun- 
tries. Science  widens  his  horizon  still  fur- 
ther, so  that  his  thought  may  range  from  the 
atoms  of  a  dewdrop  to  the  limitless  ether  of 
inter-planetary  space.  Finally,  his  study  of 
art  and  music  gives  an  outlet  to  all  his  best 
aspirations  and  noblest  emotions. 

As  expression  means  the  ^'pressing  out- 

166 


Develop  Self -Expression  167 

ward"  and  emotion,  the  '^moving  outward" 
of  the  child's  inner  self,  so  education  liter- 
ally means  the  ''leading  outward"  of  this 
same  inner  and  real  self. 

Now  how  can  we  best  help  our  children  to 
express  their  best  selves? 

Suppose  we  take  up  the  varied  ways  in 
which  the  self  may  find  expression. 

The  first  and  easiest  form  is,  of  course, 
speech.  But  how  many  adults  are  there  who 
express  themselves  easily,  forcibly  and  in- 
terestingly in  speech  ?  Most  of  us  stumble, 
hesitate,  flounder,  searching  vainly  for  the 
exact  word  or  phrase  to  convey  our  thought. 
Most  of  us  have  a  few  adjectives  which  we 
use  on  every  occasion.  Everything  we  ad- 
mire, from  chicken  salad  to  Niagara  Falls 
is  *'fine,"  *' splendid,"  ''great,"  "lovely," 
or  ''grand."  Everything  that  we  dislike  is 
"horrid,"  "rotten"  or  "punk." 

Now  this  sort  of  talk  cannot  be  called  real 
self-expression  except  in  a  very  elementary 
sense.  When  the  two-year-old  calls  sugar 
"dood"  and  medicine  "nassy,"  it  is  as  full 


168     Character  Training  in  Childhood 

an  expression  of  his  feeling  as  we  can  ex- 
pect at  his  age ;  but  why  should  the  rest  of 
us  be  content  with  such  limited  expression 
of  ourselves?  Why  have  we  never  learned 
to  convey  our  real  thoughts  and  feelings  ? 

I  know  two  young  women  both  of  whom 
had  returned  from  their  first  sight  of  the 
Niagara  Rapids.  Both  were  most  enthusi- 
astic. The  first  one  said,  "It  was  too  rip- 
ping for  anything. ' '  The  second  said, ' '  The 
great  white  waves  came  leaping  down  the 
river  like  a  pack  of  vast,  white  tigers,  hun- 
gry to  catch  and  devour  me ! ' ' 

We  slangily  speak  of  "getting  something 
out  of  one 's  system. ' '  Now  that  is  just  what 
self-expression  is,  and  this  second  girl  had 
actually  expressed  and  gotten  out,  to  my 
understanding,  the  thing  that  Niagara  had 
meant  to  her.  The  first  girl  had  expressed 
nothing  but  a  vague  approval,  like  the  baby's 
"dood." 

If  we  wish  our  children  to  express  them- 
selves easily  and  well,  we  must  first  set  them 
a  good  example  by  trying  to  improve  our 


Develop  Self -Expression  169 

own  speech,  to  enrich  it  so  that  it  may  con- 
vey our  real  emotion  or  thought.  Next,  we 
must  give  them  the  best  books,  books  in 
which  fine  minds  are  finely  expressed,  so 
that  they  may  acquire  a  wide  range  of  words 
as  tools  for  their  own  use  in  speech. 
Thirdly,  we  must  encourage  our  children  to 
describe  and  talk  intelligently,  giving  them 
respectful  attention  and  never  making  the 
fatal  mistake  of  ''talking  down"  to  them,  or 
of  showing  any  amusement  at  their  use  of 
unfamiliar  words. 

Where  there  is  a  family  of  children, 
speech-expression  can  be  greatly  fostered  by 
an  occasional  evening  when  each  child  tells  a 
story,  or  describes  something  he  has  seen  or 
read.  When  the  children  come  in  from  a 
walk  or  excursion,  how  often  are  they  cut 
off  with  a  hasty,  "Yes,  yes.  I'm  glad  you 
had  a  good  time.  Now  run  right  upstairs 
and  wash  for  supper."  Thus  do  we  check 
every  opportunity  for  free,  easy  speech-ex- 
pression and  cut  off  one  of  the  outlets 
through  which  the  soul  "presses  outward/' 


170     Character  Training  in  Childhood 

Another  of  these  outlets  is  through  the 
medium  of  writing,  which  is,  after  all,  only 
a  more  exact,  deliberate  and  permanent 
speech.  How  many  grown  people  of  your 
acquaintance  can  write  a  really  expressive 
letter  ?  Most  of  our  letters  are  a  mere  chron- 
icle of  the  most  trivial  happenings, — what 
we  had  for  dinner,  the  new  gown  we  bought, 
who  came  to  call,  the  latest  engagement. 
Scarcely  one  person  in  a  thousand  can  ex- 
press his  real  thoughts  and  feelings  on  pa- 
per. That  outlet  for  self-expression  is  al- 
most closed  for  most  of  us. 

But  there  is  no  reason  for  this.  Most 
people  cannot  be  great  writers  because  they 
have  neither  great  emotions  nor  great 
thoughts ;  but  there  is  no  reason  why  every- 
one should  not  write  clearly  and  vividly  of 
the  thoughts  and  emotions  that  make  up  his 
inner  life,  and  the  actions  that  make  up  his 
outer  history.  Of  course  there  will  always 
be  children  like  Marjorie  Fleming,  Daisy 
Ashford  and  Hilda  Conkling,  who  are 
"born"  writers,  but  writing  should  be  made 


Develop  S el f-E oppression  171 

a  natural  and  easy  form  of  expression  for 
every  child. 

There  are  many  ways  of  doing  this.  Be- 
fore the  child  is  old  enough  to  write  even,  he 
may  dictate  letters  and  should  be  encour- 
aged to  do  so.  Little  Hilda  Conkling's 
poems,  are,  I  understand,  dictated  by  her 
and  written  down,  word  for  word,  by  her 
poet-mother. 

When  the  children  are  older,  I  highly  ap- 
prove the  old-fashioned  diary  habit.  A  mor- 
bid child  may  analyze  himself  too  much  in  a 
diary,  but  all  sensitive,  analytical  children 
pass  through  the  morbid  stage  anyhow,  and 
the  diary  habit  is  of  great  use  throughout 
life. 

Among  the  pleasantest  memories  of  my 
childhood  are  the  innumerable  wild  ro- 
mances composed  jointly  by  my  seat -mate 
and  myself  when  we  were  about  ten  years 
old,  scrawled  in  the  pages  of  old  copy-books. 
And  another  less  fantastic,  but  more  really 
educative  channel  for  self-expression  was 
the  weekly  newspaper  that  my  three  sisters 


172     Character  Training  in  Childhood 

and  I  wrote, — for  family  circulation, — 
for  a  number  of  months.  It  contained  verse, 
stories,  current  topics,  "serious"  edi- 
torials and  during  the  heat  of  election, 
violent  political  articles.  We  had,  alas! 
neither  printing-press  nor  typewriter,  so 
the  edition  consisted  of  one  carefully  writ- 
ten sheet,  which  was  passed  around  the  fam- 
ily circle  and  read  by  the  grownups  with  the 
most  courteous  gravity  and  appreciation, 
though  I  still  recall  the  twinkle  in  my 
father's  eye  on  reading  a  nine-year-old's 
savage  attack  on  James  G.  Blaine! 

There  are  games,  too,  which  serve  to  give 
practise  in  original  writing.  For  instance, 
there  is  the  game  where  questions  and  words 
are  written  on  different  slips  of  paper. 
Then  each  player  draws,  at  random,  a  word 
and  a  question,  and  ten  minutes  are  allowed 
in  which  each  must  compose  a  stanza  includ- 
ing the  word  and  answering  the  question. 
This  is  too  hard  for  the  very  little  ones,  but 
the  older  ones  may  write  verse  and  the  littler 
ones  be  allowed  to  write  in  prose.    I  have 


Develop  Self -Expression  173 

seen  verses  written  in  this  way  by  children 
of  ten  and  twelve  that  would  do  credit  to 
many  an  adult. 

Two  little  sisters  of  thirteen  and  fourteen 
whom  I  used  to  know  were  in  the  habit  of  en- 
tertaining younger  visitors  by  long  im- 
promptu fairy  tales,  told,  in  turn,  first  by 
one  sister,  then  by  the  other.  Years  after- 
wards, one  of  the  sisters  wrote  out  one  of 
these  tales, — a  really  charming,  childlike 
fantasy. 

In  the  realm  of  music,  art  and  drama, 
there  is  no  end  to  the  delightful  ways  in 
which  children  may  express  themselves,  if 
only  they  are  seconded  by  sympathetic  help, 
now  and  then.  I  cannot  altogether  approve 
the  elaborate  and  long  preparation  and  drill- 
ing for  a  public  performance.  The  object 
should  not  be  to  give  a  perfect  performance 
to  delight  a  critical  public,  but  to  give  the 
children  a  chance  to  express  their  sense  of 
poetry,  beauty  and  rh}'i:hm.  The  *' Comic 
Tragedies"  which  the  Alcott  girls  wrote, 
staged  and  acted  out  of  their  own  heads,  as 


174     Character  Training  in  Childhood 

we  say,  may  have  been  ridiculous  considered 
as  performances,  but  considered  as  training 
in  self-expression  they  were  well-nigh  per- 
fect. 

Therefore  I  do  not  advocate  the  method  of 
my  friend  Mrs.  Z.  who  is  training  her  chil- 
dren in  dramatic  expression  by  having  them 
take  part  in  a  very  elaborate  presentation  of 
** Midsummer  Night's  Dream,"  for  which 
they  have  to  rehearse  every  afternoon  for 
several  weeks,  and  for  which  the  costumes 
are  provided  by  the  most  expensive  and  ex- 
clusive firm  in  town.  Far  better  an  im- 
promptu drama,  with  a  shawl  for  a  curtain, 
if  only  the  young  actors  are  really  making 
a  channel  for  their  outflowing  thoughts  and 
emotions. 

But,  as  I  have  said  before,  we  do  wrong  to 
think,  and  teach  our  children  to  think,  that 
self-expression  is  possible  only  in  the  so- 
called  *'arts."  The  boy  who  makes  a  toy 
whistle,  the  girl  who  crochets  a  doll's  hood, 
the  child  who  puts  himself  into  any  piece  of 
work,  makes  that  work  the  expression  of  his 


Develop  S el f-E oppression  175 

personality.  Work  ill  done  exjDresses  an  un- 
taught, careless,  slothful  person.  Work 
well  done  expresses  a  trained,  conscientious, 
competent  person.  Ever}i;hing  we  do 
serves  to  express  ourselves.  It  remains 
for  us  to  see  that  our  children  express  their 
best  selves  through  as  many  channels  as 
possible,  and  in  the  fullest  possible  way. 


V 

GROWTH  THROUGH  WORK 


MAKE  WORK  INTERESTING 

There  is  notliing  that,  in  itself,  is  either 
work  or  play,  "but  thinking  makes  it  so.'* 

Do  you  remember  the  immortal  incident 
of  Tom  Sawyer  and  the  whitewashed  fence? 
It  contains  more  profound  educational  truth 
than  can  be  found  in  half  the  pedagogies. 

Tom,  you  will  recall,  was  bitter  at  being 
called  uiDon  to  spend  a  whole  golden  Satur- 
day afternoon  in  whitewashing  the  back 
fence.  But  Tom  knew  human  nature.  So 
when  another  lad  happened  along,  Tom  be- 
came deeply  engrossed  in  his  work,  laying  on 
the  whitewash  in  broad  sweeps  and  then 
with  delicate  touches,  and  standing  back 
with  a  critical  air  to  survey  the  artistic  ef- 
fect. His  intense  interest  in  his  work  was 
so  infectious  that  the  other  boy  soon  begged 
to  be  allowed  to  help,  which  Tom  loftily  re- 
fused, declaring  that  it  was  so  important  and 

179 


180     Character  Training  in  Childhood 

so  fascinating  that  he  could  not  bring  him- 
self to  turn  it  over  to  anyone  else. 

Of  course,  this  only  whetted  the  other's 
desire.  Several  other  boys  came  along  and 
the  upshot  of  the  matter  was  that  the  boys 
paid  Tom  for  the  privilege  of  being  allowed 
to  do  his  work  for  him ! 

Now  what  is  the  secret  of  making  work  in- 
teresting ? 

That  will  depend  largely  upon  the  tem- 
perament of  the  worker.  I  know  a  little 
girl  aged  about  eight  who  is  required,  as  her 
share  in  the  housework,  to  keep  the  bath- 
room washbasin  and  faucets  clean  and  dry. 
One  morning,  glancing  in  at  the  bathroom 
door,  I  heard  her  talking,  while  she  vigor- 
ously rubbed  the  hot  water  faucet.  "Now 
Hotby,"  she  was  saying,  "be  a  good  boy  and 
stand  still  while  I  wash  your  face.  Don't 
you  see  how  nice  your  twin  brother,  Cole- 
man, over  there  looks?"  And  she  rubbed 
until  "Hotby"  shone  even  as  his  twin. 
Then,  with  a  satisfied,  tho'  weary  sigh,  she 
hung  up  her  cloth  while  I  stole  away  think- 


h"k- 


l-i 


TO  LIKE  THEIR  WORK 

Habits  in  work  are  formed 
"through  habits  in  play 

Boys  and  g'irls  may  learn  to  work 
in  the  play  spirii  ~  wholesome 
work  is  the  extension  of  play. 


Play  impulses  should  noi  be 
stamped  out  but  utilized  for  work. 

Nagging  and  forcing  make  children 
dislike  work.  Ptioper  guidance  and 
praise  increase  their  interest  in  work. 

Use  or  Lose  Natures  Impulses 


Make  Work  Interesting  181 

ing  ''Blessed  be  imagination,  whose  magic 
wand  can  turn  work  into  play!" 

The  art  of  thus  working  in  the  play  spirit 
is  one  which  we  should  strive  with  all  our 
might  to  impart  to  our  children.  They  will 
have  many  uncongenial  tasks  to  perform, 
willy-nilly,  in  the  course  of  their  lives.  Are 
they  to  perform  these  tasks  *'by  main 
strength, ' '  under  protest,  grudgingly  and  un- 
happily? Or  shall  they  learn  in  childhood 
to  do  even  an  unpleasant  task  happily  and 
with  that  deftness  that  comes  from  working 
*'with  the  grain"  instead  of  against  it? 

A  touch  of  imagination  on  Mother's  part 
can  almost  always  transmute  the  unwelcome 
task  into  a  cheerful  game.  The  common- 
place work  of  shelling  peas  becomes  quite 
exciting  when  one  tries  to  guess  how  many 
peas  are  in  each  pod,  before  opening  it. 
Putting  away  one's  playthings  is  irksome, 
but  if  we  play  that  a  flood  is  coming  and  that 
we  must  rush  all  our  possessions  into  a  boat 
(the  plaything-box  or  drawer),  it  is  great 
fun. 


182     Character  Training  in  Childhood 

Another  great  help  in  making  work  pleas- 
ant is  companionship.  This  is  especially 
true  of  little  children,  who  will  work  happily 
and  well  tvitli  someone,  but  soon  lose  heart  if 
left  to  work  in  solitude.  Little  daughter 
will  enjoy  her  sewing  ten  times  more  if 
Mother  sits  and  sews  with  her. 

With  rather  older  children,  the  imagina- 
tive appeal  is  often  weaker.  Other  motives 
now  must  be  used, — motives  which  appeal  to 
intelligence,  pride  and  will-power. 

For  instance,  if  a  child  is  of  the  literal, 
unimaginative  type,  or  has  outgrown  the  im- 
pulse to  play  dolls  with  the  faucets  that  she 
is  set  to  polish,  how  shall  we  help  her  to  find 
interest  in  her  task  ? 

By  appealing  first  of  all  to  her  intelli- 
gence. Just  mere  faucets  are  not  stimulating 
objects;  they  must  be  "enriched,"  as  the 
psychologists  say,  to  arouse  interest.  If  lit- 
tle Louise  has  been  thinking  of  them  as  mere 
pieces  of  dull  metal,  tell  her  the  romantic 
story  of  how  water  has  been  made  the 
servant  of  man.     Carry  her  thought  back  to 


Make  Work  Interesting  183 

the  far-off  days  when  each  family  had  its 
own  well,  and  the  ''old  oaken  bucket"  took 
the  faucet's  place.  Tell  her  of  the  "town 
13ump"  days,  explain  how,  since  then,  with 
the  constant  growth  of  the  city,  more  and 
larger  reservoirs  have  been  needed.  Show 
her  a  picture  of  the  noble  Roman  aqueducts 
and  tell  her  the  wonderful  story  of  the  great 
new  Catskill  water  system  which  supplies 
New  York  City.  Explain  to  her  the  mech- 
anism of  the  faucet,  show  her  how  to  put  on 
a  new  washer  to  prevent  the  annoying  drip- 
ping. Let  her  try  several  kinds  of  nickel- 
polish  and  use  the  one  that  works  best. 

All  this  will  so  enlarge,  enrich  and  vitalize 
the  whole  subject  of  faucets  that  I  defy  any 
child  not  to  be  keenly  interested  in  them,  and 
to  retain  that  interest  through  life.  That 
is  the  beauty  of  delving  into  any  subject ;  the 
further  we  go,  the  more  it  opens  out  before 
us,  the  more  we  see  its  relation  to  the  rest  of 
life,  until  it  becomes  a  lasting  possession  and 
joy.  I  remember  being  once  required  dur- 
ing my  school  days  to  prepare  a  speech  on 


184     Character  Training  in  Childhood 

the  subject  of  various  methods  of  street 
cleaning, — not  a  congenial  topic, — but  study 
proved  it  so  interesting  that  I  have  ever  since 
felt  a  certain  enthusiasm  for  it. 

But  when  imagination  and  intelligence 
have  done  their  best  there  will  always  re- 
main a  certain  amount  of  dull,  mechanical 
work  that  must  be  done.  How  shall  we  get 
our  children  to  form  the  habit  of  facing  and 
cheerfully  doing  such  work? 

Here  we  must  appeal  to  something  that 
lies  deeper  than  either  imagination  or  intel- 
lect,— the  sense  of  personal  self-respect  and 
pride. 

Mrs.  J.^s  Jimmie,  aged  twelve,  hated  to 
make  his  bed.  He  "forgot"  it  as  often  as 
possible,  and  when  he  did  make  it,  it  was  an 
unsightly  mass  of  knobs  and  wrinkles. 
Pleading  and  punishment  were  alike  vain. 
Jimmie  simply  wouldn't  take  time  to  make 
the  bed  decently. 

At  last,  Jimmie 's  soldier-uncle  came  for  a 
visit   and   was   appealed   to   by   Jimmie 's 


Make  Work  Interesting  185 

mother.  Next  morning,  after  breakfast,  he 
casually  said, ' '  I  '11  stiimi)  you  to  a  bed-mak- 
ing contest,  Jim." 

^'Why,  do  you  have  to  make  your  bed?" 
queried  Jimmie.  ^'I  thought  only  girls 
made  beds." 

''What  put  that  idea  into  your  head? 
Why  every  man  at  West  Point  has  to  make 
his  bed  just  exactly  so,  and  if  the  Inspector 
isn't  satisfied  with  it,  he  gets  Hail  Colum- 
bia." 

"But  you  aren't  in  West  Point  now." 

"No,  but  every  army  man  makes  his  own 
bed  and  makes  it  right.  Come  on  upstairs 
and  let's  see  who'll  win  the  contest." 

Jimmie  made  that  bed  as  he  had  never 
made  it  before,  but  when  he  saw  the  flawless 
regularity  of  Uncle's  couch,  he  blushed  with 
shame  and  envy.  When  Uncle  left,  a  week 
later,  Jim  had  acquired  two  things  that 
made  it  impossible  for  him  ever  again  to 
slight  his  bedmaking;  first,  he  now  thought 
of  it,  not  as  an  ignoble,  trivial  task,  but  as  an 


186     Character  Training  in  Childhood 

important  accomplishment ;  secondly,  lie  was 
personally  x)roud  of  Ms  own  skill  as  a  bed- 
maker. 

In  addition  to  imagination,  intelligence, 
and  workmanlike  pride,  we  may  also  appeal 
to  the  child 's  love  of  responsibility.  We  all 
perform  many  tasks,  daily,  from  no  other 
motive  than  a  desire  to  fulfil  our  responsibil- 
ities. We  want  others  to  feel  that  they  can 
rely  upon  us. 

This,  I  feel,  is  one  of  the  most  vital  points 
in  the  moral  training  of  any  child.  A  man 
may  be  delightfully  imaginative,  keenly  in- 
telligent, an  excellent  worlanan,  but  if  we 
cannot  rely  upon  him,  what  is  he  worth  to 
us? 

A  friend  of  mine  recently  said  to  me, 
"Mrs.  L.  ?  Oh  yes,  she's  charming,  so 
clever  and  witty.  But  I  don't  think  I  shall 
vote  for  her  for  club-president.  You  see, 
during  the  war,  when  we  were  up  to  our 
eyes  in  Red  Cross  work,  she  was  always 
ready  to  make  suggestions  and  offer  help 
and  even  start  things,  but  you  could  never 


Make  Work  Interesting  187 

leave  anything  with  her  and  know  that  it 
would  be  done.  She  always  had  some  ex- 
cellent excuse,  but  excuses  didn  't  get  the  sew- 
ing done.  I'm  going  to  vote  for  someone 
with  less  charm  and  more  reliability." 

So,  since  the  nation  cries  aloud  for  men 
and  women  who  will  not  merely  promise,  but 
do,  who  will  shoulder  and  faithfully  bear  the 
burden  of  any  task  once  undertaken,  let  us 
foster  in  our  children  a  noble  pride  in  being 
reliable. 

Let  us  stop  driving  and  nagging  our  chil- 
dren. Let  us  say  to  them,  and  to  others  in 
their  hearing,  "I  never  have  to  watch  my 
children  to  see  that  they  do  anything  that  is 
a  part  of  their  work.  I  rely  on  them  just  as 
I  rely  on  their  father  or  on  myself."  The 
mother  who  says  this,  with  a  proud  look  at 
her  son,  who  thanks  him  as  courteously  as  if 
he  were  a  stranger  when  he  works  for  her, 
and  who  praises  his  efforts  and  rejoices  in 
his  success,  will  usually  have  a  son  who  likes 
to  work. 


TRAIN  THE  CHILD  TO  USE 
MATERIALS 

One  of  the  most  deeply  rooted  instincts  in 
human  nature  is  the  desire  to  turn  some- 
thing into  something  else,  to  regard  objects 
not  as  fixed  and  permanent  but  as  possible 
material  for  creating  something  different. 

This,  I  think,  explains  the  eternal  fascina- 
tion of  the  fairy  tales  which  turn  a  pumpkin 
into  a  golden  coach,  a  prince  into  a  frog,  a 
princess  into  a  white  cat,  and  which  delight 
in  Gorgon's  heads  that  turn  the  beholder  to 
stone,  and  magic  wands  that  transmute  all 
they  touch  into  purest  gold. 

This,  not  the  lust  for  wealth,  merely,  led 
men  for  centuries  to  seek  the  philosopher's 
stone  which  should  turn  to  gold  even  the  bas- 
est metal. 

This  same  desire  to  transmute  things  led, 
forty  years  ago,  to  the  craze  for  gilding 

188 


'•-^T' 


''■■^:m* 


TO  KNOW  AND 
SHAPE  MATERIALS 

True  education  consists  in  learning  what  things 
can  do  and  what  we  can  do  with  thii^igs." 

_'V.VOS/ica. 

To  know  materials, ihe  child  must  handle 
and  feel  as  well  as  see  them.  Tlierefore,  ^ 
'dont  touch"  should  be  chan^d  to  "handle  carefully." 


Quickening  hand. mind  and  will  and 
opening  fields  in  industry  and  art. 

Materials  should  be  shaped  in  ihe  simple 
beauty  that  comes  from  good  proportion 
rather  than  from  decoration. 

The  child's  hand  shapes  the  man. 


Train  the  Child  to  Use  Materials     189 

kitchen  spoons  for  parlor  ornaments,  mount- 
ing clocks  on  frying-pans,  "decorating" 
trays  with  postage  stamps,  and  countless 
other  horrors.  But  these  were  horrors  be- 
cause of  the  Mid- Victorian  lack  of  all  artis- 
tic feeling,  not  because  the  instinct  for  trans- 
mutation is  not  a  fine  one. 

Now  how  shall  this  desire  to  make  some- 
thing into  something  else  be  utilized  in  our 
children's  education? 

In  discussing  Constructive  Play,  I  have  al- 
ready glanced  at  this  problem ;  but  the  ques- 
tion is  not  merely  one  of  play  but  of  the 
child's  whole  life,  and  of  our  whole  fabric 
of  society. 

Compare,  for  a  moment,  a  child's  life  one 
hundred  years  ago  with  what  it  is  now.  The 
little  Abigails  and  Ezras  of  those  days  actu- 
ally saw  and  often  assisted  in  the  processes 
of  transmutation.  They  saw  the  sheep 
sheared,  the  wool  carded  and  spun,  the  thread 
woven  into  cloth  and  the  cloth  made  into 
gowns  and  coats.  They  saw  the  seed  sown, 
the  harvest  reaped,  the  grain  ground  into 


190     Character  Training  in  Childhood 

flour,  and  the  flour  baked  into  bread.  Often 
they  saw  the  trees  felled,  the  cellar  dug,  and 
watched  the  long,  fascinating  toil  of  build- 
ing the  house.  All  about  them,  every  mo- 
ment of  the  day,  they  saw  materials  being 
converted  into  useful  objects. 

But  how  about  our  little  Katherines  and 
Jacks'?  Their  clothes  are  bought  ready- 
made.  Their  bread  and  milk  come  from 
the  bakery  and  an  invisible  milkman.  They 
flit  from  one  rented  house  to  another,  where 
everything  from  light  and  heat,  to  janitor 
and  valet  is  "supplied." 

The  very  natural  result  of  living  in  this 
"readymade"  age,  where  there  seem  to  be 
no  materials,  but  only  finished  products,  is 
that  Katherine  and  Jack  are  likely  to  lose  the 
magic  power  of  using  materials.  They  are 
likely  to  see  only  things^  not  possibilities. 

How,  I  repeat,  shall  we  feed  and  utilize 
this  inborn  love  of  materials  % 

First  of  all  by  giving  the  child  play-ma^e- 
rials,  rather  than  ^Isijthings. 

Secondly,  by  getting  away,  so  far  as  is 


Train  the  Child  to  Use  Materials     191 

practical,  from  a  readyniade  way  of  living. 

I  do  not  mean  by  this  that  we  should  make 
the  absurd  attempt  to  turn  back  the  clock 
and  return  to  the  crude  methods  of  a 
hundred  years  ago.  But  we  must  see  that 
our  children  do  not,  like  the  aristocrats  in 
''The  Admirable  Crichton,"  become  help- 
lessly dependent  on  a  readymade  civiliza- 
tion. We  must  do  this,  even  at  considerable 
inconvenience  to  ourselves. 

I  know  a  wealthy  woman  who  insisted  that 
each  of  her  daughters  should  learn  to  cook, 
not  by  attending  a  fashionable  class,  but  by 
going  into  the  kitchen  and  learning  how  to 
prepare,  cook  and  "wash  up"  after  a  three 
course  dinner. 

These  girls,  though  they  may  never  have 
had  to  cook  another  meal,  had  learned  not 
to  regard  a  dinner  as  a  "readymade"  prod- 
uct. They  knew  just  what,  in  the  way  of 
food,  time,  strength  and  skill,  were  the  mate- 
rials for  dinner-making. 

Or  take  the  matter  of  clothing.  Many  of 
us  find  it  wiser,  on  the  whole,  to  buy  practi- 


192     Character  Training  in  Childhood 

cally  all  of  our  clothing  readymade ;  but  ev- 
ery child,  boy  or  girl,  should  be  taught  to 
recognize  the  various  materials  of  which 
clothing  is  made  and  know  which  is  best 
suited  to  a  given  purpose.  They  should  also 
be  taught  the  rudiments  at  least,  of  sevdng, 
so  that  they  may  not  be  utterly  dependent 
on  the  services  of  others,  and  so,  again,  that 
they  may  regard  clothing  not  as  something 
ready-created  for  their  need,  but  as  some- 
thing toilsomely  and  skilfully  transformed 
from  the  raw  material  of  wool  and  thread  by 
human  brain  and  muscle. 

Every  child  should  be  taught  the  elements 
of  carpentry,  should  know  the  properties  of 
various  sorts  of  wood  and  should  be  taken 
through  a  furniture  factory,  so  that  he  may 
get  a  realizing  sense  of  the  manifold  proc- 
esses involved  in  the  making  of  the  plainest 
chair. 

Clay  is  one  of  the  most  primitive  and  fas- 
cinating materials.  The  most  hardened  and 
conventional  adult,  seated  on  the  seashore, 
unconsciously  yields  to  the  lure  of  the  sand, 


Train  the  Child  to  Use  Materials     193 

and  starts  to  pat  and  mold  it.  So  the  cliild 
*' takes  to"  clay,  by  instinct,  molding  figures, 
bricks  and  vases,  just  as  did  liis  prehistoric 
ancestors. 

In  Montessori  schools,  the  children  learn 
to  use  the  potter's  wheel,  and  in  many  of  our 
American  schools  and  settlements,  really 
beautiful  pottery  is  turned  out  by  the  chil- 
dren. Such  work  should  be  supplemented 
by  a  visit  to  a  china  factory  where  the  chil- 
dren may  see  the  entire  process  of  modern 
china-making. 

Now,  what  will  such  training  in  the  use  of 
materials  do  for  our  children  % 

In  the  first  place,  it  will  give  them  power. 
They  will  not  be  at  the  mercy  of  their  envi- 
ronment, but  will  be,  in  some  degree,  its  mas- 
ter, able,  if  readymade  things  are  not  forth- 
coming, to  use  the  materials  at  hand,  just  as 
the  Boy  Scout  is  taught  to  make  fire  without 
depending  on  matches. 

Secondly,  it  will  foster  originality  and  in- 
genuity. The  little  cook  who  is  well  used  to 
her  materials  need  not  be  restricted  by  a 


194     Character  Training  in  Childhood 

cook-book.  She  can  cast  an  experienced  eye 
over  the  refrigerator  and  concoct  a  tooth- 
some dish  of  her  own  invention  from  the 
"left-overs."  The  young  carpenter  who 
really  understands  different  sorts  of  wood 
will  not  follow  set  patterns,  but  will  design 
something  especially  suited  to  the  material 
at  hand. 

A  trifling,  but  striking  illustration  of  how 
use  of  a  material  leads  to  ingenuity  in  devis- 
ing other  uses,  is  that  of  the  hairpin.  Men 
think  of  a  hairpin  as  a  finished  product. 
To  women  it  is  a  bundle  of  possibilities.  I 
have  seen  the  humble,  but  adaptable  hairpin 
used  as  a  corkscrew,  safety  pin,  paper-knife, 
letter-file,  pickle-fork,  button-hook,  hat-pin 
and  picture  hook, — ^to  mention  but  a  few  of 
myriad  potentialities.  Therefore,  I  say, 
give  Tom  and  Anne  a  chance  to  use  as  many 
materials  as  possible,  that  they  may  have 
eyes  to  see  the  tremendous  possibilities  all 
about  them. 

Lastly,  we  must  let  our  children  use  mate- 


Train  the  Child  to  Use  Materials    195 

rials  in  oraer  that  they  may  realize  the  law 
of  cause  and  effect.  We  laugh  at  the  story 
of  the  little  city-bred  lad  who,  on  visiting  the 
country  asked  whether  the  plot  next  to  the 
string  beans  was  planted  with  his  favorite 
"porkan"  beans.  I  know  a  small  girl  who 
looked  long  for  the  "mashed  potato"  patch. 
But  this  is  really  not  a  laughing  matter. 
If  our  children  see  only  results,  how  can 
they  understand  causes  ?  If  they  are  famil- 
iar only  with  the  smoothly  finished  product, 
how  can  they  know  anything  of  the  toil  that 
went  to  make  it  ?  How  can  we  blame  them 
if  they  are  heedlessly  destructive?  The 
saying,  ''Easy  come,  easy  go,"  contains  a 
deal  of  truth.  Perhaps  twelve-year-old 
Tom  is  perfectly  wanton  in  his  rough  treat- 
ment of  your  polished  furniture.  A  series 
of  lessons  in  carpentry  and  a  knowledge  of 
the  different  sorts  of  fine  woods,  with  a  visit 
to  a  fine  cabinet  maker,  will  do  a  vast  amount 
toward  making  him  see  fine  furniture  in  a 
new  light.    He  will  realize  it  not  as  an  easily 


196     Character  Training  in  Childhood 

replaceable  object,  but  as  the  fine  fruit  of  a 
long  series  of  skilful  acts  performed  upon 
beautiful  material. 

Perhaps  Anne  cannot  see  why  she  should 
not  feed  cream-puffs  to  the  dog.  If  Anne, 
by  a  lesson  in  fancy  cake-making,  can  be  led 
to  see  cream-puffs  as  the  product  of  special 
skill,  the  best  materials  and  considerable  ex- 
pense, she  will  feed  Fido  on  some  simpler 
dish. 

The  truth  is  that  the  abundance  of  serv- 
ants and  omnipresence  of  machinery  have, 
for  many  of  us,  in  the  past,  obscured  the 
real  value  of  material  and  of  human  labor. 
Our  children  must  learn  &?/  doing.  They 
must  get  back  of  products,  to  materials.  So 
shall  they  gain  independence,  ingenuity  and 
respect  for  human  and  other  material. 


TEAIN  EYE,  HAND,  AND 
JUDGMENT 

The  training  of  eye  and  hand,  which,  as  I 
have  mentioned,  forms  a  part  of  Montessori 
and  Kindergarten  methods,  should  also  be 
continued  and  carried  still  further  in  the 
grammar  and  high  school  and  in  the  child's 
daily  work  at  home.  The  little  child  who 
has  not  learned  to  read  is  not  tempted  to  sub- 
stitute reading  about  things,  for  working 
with  things.  But  for  the  older  boy  or  girl 
this  is  a  very  real  danger. 

Those  of  us  who  were  unlucky  enough  to 
be  educated  before  the  days  of  manual  train- 
ing know  how  nearly  impossible  it  is  to  form 
accurate  judgments  as  to  line  and  distance 
unless  eye  and  hand  have  been  trained.  To 
be  personal,  I  was  educated  in  city  schools 
and  given  practically  nothing  but  "book 
learning. ' '    The  result  is  that  I  cannot  make 

197 


198     Character  Training  in  Childhood 

the  wildest  guess  at  distances.  An  "acre" 
is  a  mere  word  to  me,  and  the  Woolworth 
tower,  whose  ghostly  form  looms  on  my  hor- 
izon, may  be  three  hundred  feet,  or  six 
hundred, — it  is  all  one  to  my  untutored  judg- 
ment. 

In  his  inspiring  and  suggestive  book, 
''What  Is  It  to  Be  Educated?"  C.  Hanford 
Henderson  urges  that  children  be  trained  in 
the  cultivation  of  this  quantitative  sense. 
He  would  have  them  practise  pacing  off  dis- 
tances, estimating  heights,  and  gauging 
weights  and  distances.  In  his  California 
school,  his  boys  were  taught  to  pace  off  a 
plot  of  ground  containing  just  an  acre. 

This  quantitative  judgment  cannot  be 
gained  by  merely  using  rulers,  measuring- 
vessels  and  weights.  It  comes  as  the  result 
of  ''freehand"  working  with  materials. 

We  all  know  the  expert  cook  who  "never 
measures  anything."  Ah,  but  she  does 
measure, — not  with  pint  cups  and  graduated 
measuring  spoons,  but  with  that  expert, 
trained  eye  of  hers  which  has  learned  just 


'^•^  •'■??-r-  -  -  -  ^  .,;:^ 


TO  GAIN  ACCURACY 
AND  JUDGMENT 

Children  should  learn  io  make  fine 
disiinctions  in  distance,  line  and  proportion. 


If        As  the  child  plans  and  constructs  he  is 
making  and  testing  his  own  judgmeni. 


^.: 


A 


Train  Eye,  Hand,  and  Judgment     199 

how  much  sugar  or  flour  will  go  into  the  cup 
or  spoon. 

The  eye  of  the  sharpshooter  or  the  billiard 
expert  can  measure  distance  and  gauge  posi- 
tion almost  to  a  hair's  breadth.  The  hand 
of  the  experienced  draughtsman  can  almost 
dispense  with  ruler  and  compass. 

Now  we  cannot  expect  to  make  our  chil- 
dren expert  in  every  line  of  hand-work,  but 
there  is  no  reason  why  every  normal  child 
should  not  be  trained  to  the  skilful  and  accu- 
rate use  of  eye  and  hand,  so  that  whatever 
line  he  elects  to  specialize  in  he  may  be 
ready  for,  and  so  that  he  may  be  incapable 
of  sloppy,  inaccurate  work. 

But,  as  Henderson  points  out,  manual 
training  must  not  ''go  over  to  the  devil  of 
uniformity."  The  main  object,  after  all,  is 
to  develop  the  originality  and  judgment  of 
the  boy  or  girl,  not  to  turn  out  a  mathemat- 
ically exact  product.  Therefore  the  man- 
ual training  course  should  not  be  a  cut-and- 
dried  affair,  wherein  each  boy  tries  to  make 
a  table  exactly  like  the  model  in  every  par- 


200     Character  Training  in  Childhood 

ticular.  The  boy  should  plan  his  own  table, 
embody  his  own  ideas,  his  own  sense  of  pro- 
portion and  harmony. 

The  little  girl  should  learn  to  cut  her  own 
sewing  patterns,  design  her  own  ornaments, 
and  plan  her  work  according  to  her  own 
ideas,  rather  than  model  it  after  a  fixed  pat- 
tern. 

As  Henderson  says,  '^The  final  test  is  not 
whether  a  boy  has  made  a  whole  lot  of 
wooden  projects,  and  modeled  a  whole  lot 
of  animals  and  ornaments,  and  drawn  a 
book  full  of  sketches  and  designs,  and 
painted  a  rainbow  into  earthly  shapes,  but 
rather  whether  there  has  been  developed  the 
trained  eye  and  perceptive  hand  which  can 
be  depended  upon  henceforth  to  render  sure 
and  instinctive  expression  to  the  purposes  of 
the  will,  and  at  the  same  time  yield  accurate 
and  comprehensive  report  of  the  outer 
world. ' ' 

This  training  of  eye  to  accurate  percep- 
tion, of  hand  to  sureness  and  skill,  and  of 
judgment  to  promptness  and  certainty  is 


Train  Eye,  Hand,  and  Judgment     201 

also  one  of  the  best  forms  of  will-training. 

The  child  who  plans  out  a  piece  of  work, 
overcomes  the  stubbornness  of  his  material, 
wields  it  to  his  will  and  sees,  in  the  finished 
product,  the  successful  embodiment  of  his 
plan,  has  exercised  his  will  along  with  his 
muscles, — ^has  made  himself  master  of  his 
materials. 

Children  need  bodily  tools  as  strong  and 
skilful  as  possible.  They  need  foresight 
and  judgment.  They  need  effective  will 
power.  For  none  of  these  purposes  is  there 
any  more  effective  method  than  that  of  suit- 
able manual  training. 


DEVELOP  POWER 

The  right  sort  of  work  should,  finally  and 
above  all,  develop  one's  personal  power. 
The  wrong  sort  of  work  may  do  exactly  the 
opposite. 

Let  me  illustrate.  A  very  hardworking 
and  industrious  man  of  my  acquaintance 
told  me  that  he  found  no  real  pleasure  in 
working  the  garden  patch  at  his  country 
home  because  of  the  farm  work  that  had 
been  required  of  him  as  a  small  boy.  ''I 
naturally  loved  study  better  than  muscular 
work,"  he  said,  "but  that  was  not  the 
trouble.  I  was  set  to  weed  an  enormous  field 
on  my  father's  farm, — a  field  of  beans,  a 
vegetable  which  I  detested.  The  bean-patch 
was  so  big  that  by  the  time  I  had  finished,  it 
was  nearly  time  to  start  over  again.  I  was 
the  only  child,  so  I  worked  in  solitude.  My 
sole  re,ward  was  an  approving  glance  from 

202 


TO  DEVELOP  POWER 


Training  is  soft*  if  it  merely 
interests.  It  shoLtld  arouse  the 
fighting  instinct  and  make  the  child 
want  to  finish  what  he  undertakes. 


^K.-...       ^ 


To  finish  a  job  in  the 
best  way  develops  mental 
integrity  ifi  children. 

Making  worth  while  things  for  one's  self 
or  for  a  gift  develops  interest,  concen- 
tration, perseverance  and  will  power. 


Develop  Power  203 

my  father.  I  detested  the  beans,  I  detested 
the  long,  thankless  task.  Nothing  but  a 
stern  sense  of  duty  kept  me  at  it.  I  hated  it 
so  that  to  this  day  I  cannot  take  any  pleasure 
in  any  sort  of  gardening." 

Or  consider  the  tragic  case  of  the  little 
East  Side  girl  Who  "hated  roses"  because  of 
the  weary  hours  that  she  had  spent  making 
the  artificial  blossoms. 

It  is  clear  that  this  boy  and  girl  were  not 
gaining  power  from  their  work,  but  quite 
the  reverse. 

How  then  shall  we  provide  for  our  chil- 
dren the  sort  of  work,  during  childhood,  that 
will  give  them  power  for  their  manhood  ? 

First  of  all,  his  work  must  be  suited  to 
the  child  ^s  age  and  strength.  It  is  both 
cruel  and  unwise  to  saddle  a  child  with  work 
that  is  beyond  his  physical  powers,  or  which 
severely  overtaxes  them.  In  her  delightful 
autobiography,  Dr.  Anna  H.  Shaw  tells  how 
she  and  her  little  brother  dug  a  well  when 
she  was  about  thirteen.  Hamlin  Garland 
recounts  the  long  hours  when,  as  a  tiny  lad, 


204     Character  Training  in  Childhood 

he  toiled  behind  the  plow,  stumbling  through 
the  furrows  and  tugging  with  all  his  puny 
strength  at  the  giant  plow-handles. 

Fortunately,  Dr.  Shaw  and  Hamlin  Gar- 
land were  unusually  sturdy  children, — 
weaker  children  would  have  utterly  suc- 
cumbed,— but  this  sort  of  desperate  battling 
mth  man-size  tasks  is  not  good  for  any  child. 
The  exceptional  child  may  not  be  perma- 
nently injured,  but  it  does  not  develop  the 
best  sort  of  power  in  any  child. 

So  I  would  say  that,  first  of  all,  our  chil- 
dren's tasks  should  be  sufficiently  hard  to  call 
forth  their  best  efforts,  but  not  to  overpower 
them,  either  physically  or  mentally.  It 
takes  an  exceptionally  strong  will  not  to  be- 
come discouraged  if  one  is  constantly  ex- 
pected to  do  more  than  one  can.  As  we  said 
before,  we  must  not  let  our  children  get  into 
the  habit  of  expecting  failure. 

On  the  other  hand,  we  must  not  make  ev- 
ery task  so  easy  that  it  requires  no  effort  on 
the  child's  part.  Effort  is  needed  for 
growth,  physical,  mental,  or  moral.     Here  is 


Develop  Power  205 

where  the  loving  parent  is  tempted  to  be 
most  unwise.  Father  worked  so  hard  as  a 
boy  that  he  wants  his  sons  to  have  ''every 
advantage"  and  that,  in  his  mind,  often 
means  an  absence  of  all  effort, — a  life  all 
sunshine,  light  work,  unearned  pocket- 
money,  a  chance  to  select  the  tasks  they 
please  and  pursue  them  only  so  far  as  they 
please.  But  absence  of  effort  does  not  make 
for  strength ;  it  does  not  make  even  for  hap- 
piness,— it  makes  only  for  weakness  and  dis- 
satisfaction. 

We  must  also  beware  of  setting  children 
tasks  that  are  too  long  for  the  limited  pa- 
tience of  a  child.  I  know  a  wise  mother  who 
is  anxious  that  her  eight-year-old  daughter 
should  learn  to  sew.  "But  I  remembered," 
she  said,  "the  weary  hours  that  I  spent  at 
my  needle  when  I  was  a  child.  I  used  to 
dread  the  endless  seams  and  what  seemed 
like  miles  of  hem,  for  I  was  set  at  hemming 
the  nursery  sheets.  So  I  determined  that 
Pauline  should  find  sewing  a  real  pleasure 
and  should  have  every  incentive  to  finish 


206     Character  Training  in  Childhood 

her  work  instead  of  flinging  it  aside  in  wear- 
iness, as  I  used  to  do. 

*'  So  I  formed  a  sewing  club  of  three  of  her 
little  playmates  and  bought  a  set  of  simple 
patterns  for  doll  clothes.  The  patterns  were 
so  easy  that  each  little  girl  was  able  to  make 
a  garment  at  one  sitting.  They  sewed  for  an 
hour  and  when  the  garments  w^re  made, 
they  had  milk  and  cookies,  for  a  'party.' 
I  assure  you  that  they  loved  their  club,  sewed 
with  all  their  might  and  finished  every  gar- 
ment that  they  started. ' ' 

This  last  phrase  especially  struck  me,  for 
I  wonder  how  many  of  us  adults  can  say 
that  we  have  finished  every  piece  of  work 
that  we  undertook. 

This  evil  habit  of  starting  pieces  of  work 
and  then  leaving  them  unfinished  is  often 
the  result  of  giving  a  child  tasks  that  are  too 
long  for  his  age.  The  small  child  has  lim- 
ited powers  of  concentration.  He  soon 
wearies,  both  physically  and  mentally. 
Hence  the  wisdom  of  little  Pauline's 
mother  in  letting  the  sewing  class  undertake 


Develop  Power  207 

only  such  work  as  they  could  finish  rather 
quickly. 

Of  course,  as  a  child  grows  older,  he  will 
be  interested  in  work  that  covers  days  or 
weeks,  but  I  repeat  that  we  should  beware  of 
allowing  a  boy  or  girl  to  undertake  a  task 
that  will  overtax  his  power  of  sustained  in- 
terest, lest  he  or  she  acquire  the  fatal  habit 
of  unfinished  work. 

Therefore,  if  John  comes  to  you  with  a 
request  to  be  allowed  to  undertake  a  certain 
responsibility,  it  will  be  well  for  him  to  be 
warned  as  to  just  what  he  is  undertaking. 

My  friend  Mrs.  L.  has  a  daughter  of  ten 
who  was  very  anxious  to  have  a  canary. 
Her  mother  did  not  refuse,  but  said,  "Of 
course  you  know,  Frances,  that  you  will 
have  to  take  care  of  the  bird." 

**0h  yes,"  acceded  Frances,  *'I  want  to 
take  care  of  him. ' ' 

''That  means,"  continued  her  mother, 
''that  you  must  get  up  in  time  to  give  him 
fresh  seed  and  water  each  morning  and  that 
you  must  keep  his  cage  perfectly  clean  and 


208     Character  Training  in  Childhood 

that  you  must  remember  to  move  him  away 
from  the  open  window  at  night,  so  that  he 
won't  catch  cold." 

*'0h,  I'll  take  perfect  care  of  him,'*  cried 
Frances. 

And  so  she  did  for  several  weeks,  but  when 
the  novelty  had  worn  off,  she  began  to  for- 
get. Her  mother  called  her  to  her  and  said, 
''Frances,  you  undertook  the  care  of  this 
bird  and  you  must  carry  it  through.  Yes- 
terday brother  fed  birdie,  because  we  can't 
let  him  suffer  from  your  neglect,  but  he  is 
your  bird  and  your  responsibility.  You 
must  either  care  for  him  yourself  or  pay 
brother  for  doing  it.  Every  time  that 
brother  has  to  do  it,  he  will  charge  you  five 
cents  and  you  can  pay  him  out  of  your  allow- 


ance." 


I  suppose  many  parents  would  do  like  an- 
other friend  of  mine  and  feed  the  bird 
themselves,  or  give  it  away.  It  seems  to  me 
that  Mrs.  L.  's  plan  was  wiser,  for  it  insisted 
with  perfect  justice  that  Frances  should 
carry  through  an  obligation  that  she  had 


Develop  Power  209 

voluntarily  assumed,  just  as  all  of  us  grown- 
ups have  to  do.  The  only  unfairness  in  such 
insistence  comes  v^hen  the  child  is  not 
warned  beforehand,  but  is  allowed  to  start 
something  too  hard  for  him  to  carry  out. 

Having  seen  that  our  children's  tasks  do 
not  exceed  their  bodily  strength,  mental 
power,  or  ability  to  concentrate  for  the 
requisite  length  of  time,  we  ought  to  insist 
that  they  put  through  their  undertakings, 
encourage  them  by  all  possible  praise  and 
make  them  heartily  ashamed  of  being  "quit- 
ters." Hateful  word!  Hateful  because  it 
means  the  lack  of  patience,  the  lack  of  re- 
sponsibility, the  lack  of  honorable  pride  in 
our  work,  the  lack  of  that  sturdy  self-reli- 
ance which  makes  others  rely  on  us. 


VI 

THE  CHILD  AND  HIS  VOCATION 


THE  RIGHT  CHOICE  OF  A 
LIFE  WORK 

How  many  of  us  men  and  women  chose 
our  life  work?  Very  few,  I  suspect.  In 
most  cases  young  people  enter  into  a  work- 
ing career  very  much  as  they  enter  matri- 
mony,— not  because  of  any  thought,  prepara- 
tion or  deliberate  decision,  but  through  a 
combination  of  impulse,  chance  and  favor- 
able circumstances.  We  most  appropri- 
ately speak  of  "falling"  in  love,  and  in  much 
the  same  way  the  girl  or  boy  falls  into  some 
line  of  work  which  may,  by  miracle,  fit  him, 
but  which  is  much  more  likely  to  prove  a 
sad  misfit. 

Very  often  the  matter  is  decided  by  the 
merest  chance.  A  friend  of  mine  once  saw 
two  boys  in  the  subway  who  were  discussing 
jobs.  One  of  them  finally  drew  out  a  news- 
paper,   turned    to    the    "Help    Wanted" 

213 


214     Character  Training  in  Childhood 

column  and  said,  "I'll  close  my  eyes  and 
then  go  after  whatever  job  my  finger  hits." 
So  saying,  he  shut  his  eyes  and  made  a  jab 
at  the  column. 

Perhaps  not  many  boys  select  a  job  in 
quite  so  casual  a  fashion,  but  the  average  boy 
or  girl  simply  tumbles  into  the  first  empty 
berth.  John  is  about  to  leave  school  and 
the  village  grocer  suggests  to  John's  father 
that  he  needs  a  clerk,  so  into  the  grocery 
John  goes.  In  June,  when  Mary  is  gradu- 
ated, there  is  a  loud  call  for  workers  in  the 
canning  factory,  so  off  Mary  goes  to  the 
factory. 

Often  the  determining  factor  is  the  par- 
ent's occupation.  Benjamin  Franklin 
started  work  as  a  tallow  chandler,  for  no 
reason  on  earth  except  that  it  was  his  fa- 
ther's trade.  One  can  scarcely  imagine  a 
trade  more  utterly  unsuited  to  the  brilliant 
and  inventive  lad. 

Robert  Louis  Stevenson  was  born  to  a 
family  tradition  of  engineering.  His  two 
uncles,  father,  grandfather  and  step-great- 


TO  FIND 
THEIR  LIFE  WORK 

As  senses  and  judgment  are  trained 
and  tested. children  should  gradually 
be  led  to  choose  the  work  for  which 
temperament  and  education  fd  them. 


Fitting  inio  ihe  work  of  ihe 
world  is  the  highest  expression 
of  the  group-play  instinct. 

Native  ability  lies  dormant 

unless  awakened  through 

the  activities  of  pla^ 

work  and  study. 


The  Right  Choice  of  a  Life  Work     215 

grandfather  were  all  civil  engineers,  and 
naturally,  as  they  thought,  Louis  would  fol- 
low the  family  profession.  He  accordingly 
studied  engineering,  but,  as  all  the  world 
knows,  his  genius  for  writing  was  so  over- 
whelming that  it  overcame  family  tradition 
and  all  else. 

Often  a  child's  career  is  determined  by 
nothing  but  a  passing  whim.  The  boy  meets 
some  brilliant  young  physician  and  decides 
that  he  too  will  be  a  doctor.  The  girl  is  in- 
fatuated with  what  she  supposes  to  be  the 
brilliance  of  a  "movie"  career  and  yearns 
to  become  a  film  star, — perhaps  runs  away, 
as  hundreds  do  each  year,  to  seek  a  dramatic 
career  in  Los  Angeles.  Innumerable  school 
boys  are  in  love  with  the  idea  of  being  avia- 
tors, just  as,  fifteen  years  ago,  they  longed 
to  be  chauffeurs. 

But  shall  we  not  consider  our  children's 
wishes  in  the  choosing  of  a  vocation?  As- 
suredly, but  we  must  consult  their  real 
wishes,  based  on  actual  knowledge,  not  their 
passing    whims,    based    on    illusion    and 


216     Character  Training  in  Childhood 

glamour.  The  boy  who  fancies  that  he 
would  like  to  be  a  doctor  should  be  told  and 
be  allowed,  if  possible,  to  see,  enough  of  a 
doctor's  life  to  realize  just  what  it  means, 
— the  long  years  of  strenuous  study  and 
preparation,  the  uphill  struggle  for  recogni- 
tion, the  years  of  faithful  service,  taxing 
body  and  mind  almost  to  the  breaking  point. 
If  his  enthusiasm  is  genuine,  these  difficul- 
ties will  not  deter  him  but  will  be  spurs  to 
his  ambition. 

The  girl  who  wishes  to  act  should  know 
that  acting  is  not  bowing  before  an  applaud- 
ing audience,  having  one's  picture  in  the 
Sunday  supplement,  and  being  laden  down 
with  flowers  and  praise.  She  must  be 
shown  that  it  is  grilling  work,  long  hours, 
tedious  travelling,  uncertain  engagements, 
a  thorny  road  which,  except  for  the  brilliant 
talent,  is  likely  to  end  in  bitter  disappoint- 
ment. If  she  fully  realizes  all  this  and  still 
is  eager  to  go  on  the  stage,  her  desire  is  a 
real  one,  and  should  be  at  least  treated  with 
respect. 


The  Bight  Choice  of  a  Life  Work     217 

But  even  where  one  has  a  great  liking  for 
some  special  line  of  work,  it  does  not  always 
follow  that  one  is  wise  in  choosing  it  as  a 
life  work.  New  York  City  and  every  other 
musical  center  is  full  of  young  girls  with 
pretty,  but  mediocre  voices  who  are  anxious 
to  make  a  musical  career  for  themselves. 
Jennie  has  always  had  an  ear  for  music, 
she  has  sung  in  the  village  choir  and  some 
city  visitors  have  praised  her  efforts.  So 
money  is  drawn  from  the  bank  and  Jennie 
hastens  off  to  the  great  city  to  make  a  name 
and  fortune.  After  two  or  three  wasted 
years,  she  returns  richer  only  in  the  knowl- 
edge that  she  can  never  be  a  musician. 
True,  she  loves  music,  but  she  "hasn't  it  in 
her"  to  make  a  singer. 

Our  cities  teem,  also,  with  youngsters  of 
both  sexes  who  fancy  themselves  as  literary 
lights.  They  like  to  write  and  even  have 
a  certain  ease  and  fluency  of  expression,  so 
off  they  go  to  learn  the  arduous  trade  of 
journalism.  They  spend  a  few  years  drift- 
ing from  one  Greenwich  Village  lodging  to 


218     Character  Training  in  Childhood 

another,  eacli  cheaper  than  the  last,  until 
they  give  up  in  despair  or  continue  as  the 
army  of  cheap  hack-writers  who  lead  a 
hand-to-mouth  existence  in  every  great  city. 

No,  we  cannot  be  guided  merely  by  the 
boy's  or  girl's  likings.  Unless  they  have 
real  talent  for  art,  literature  or  drama,  they 
had  better  earn  their  living  in  some  other 
field  and  let  the  first  be  a  delightful  avoca- 
tion for  their  spare  hours.  Better  a  thou- 
sand times  to  be  a  pleasing  and  happy  ama- 
teur artist  than  a  hopeless  and  miserable 
professional. 

While  we  give  due  consideration,  then, 
to  what  our  children  would  like  to  do,  our 
chief  object  should  be  to  discover  what  they 
are  best  ahle  to  do. 

To  determine  this,  we  must  study  our  chil- 
dren's bodily,  mental  and  spiritual  makeup, 
their  strong  and  weak  points.  The  boy  who 
has  weak  lungs  should  not  become  a  stone 
mason,  or  engage  in  any  other  dusty  trade. 
He  should  not  be  a  tailor,  shoemaker  or  any 
other  sort  of  worker  who  has  to  bend  over 


The  Bight  Choice  of  a  Life  Work    219 

all  day  in  a  position  that  cramps  the  lungs 
and  who  must  work  indoors. 

The  boy  with  weak  eyes  must  not  try  to 
be  a  jeweler,  to  engage  in  scientific  work  that 
will  call  for  the  use  of  a  microscope,  or  to 
take  up  any  work  where  his  eyes  will  be  a 
serious  handicap. 

As  for  mental  abilities,  the  shy,  unsocial 
boy  will  never  make  a  good  salesman.  The 
imaginative,  original  youngster  will  not  be 
likely  to  be  good  at  routine  work,  just  as  the 
slow,  dull  one  will  fail  at  anything  that  re- 
quires speed  and  keen  wit.  The  blunt,  in- 
tractable, unsocial  person  may  make  a  bril- 
liant scientist,  writer,  or  inventor,  but  he 
will  never  succeed  as  a  teacher,  organizer, 
politician,  or  in  any  other  field  where  tact, 
adaptability  and  love  of  one's  kind  are  es- 
sentials. 

Therefore,  before  we  can  wisely  guide  our 
boys  and  girls  in  the  choice  of  a  life  work,  we 
must  know  them,  body,  mind  and  soul.  We 
must  know,  too,  the  sort  of  bodies,  minds 
and  souls  that  are  needed  in  the  various 


220     Character  Training  in  Childhood 

fields  of  work,  so  that  we  may  cease  this 
wedging  of  square  pegs  into  round  holes. 

Lastly,  we  must  know  whether  a  given 
field  is  already  over-full.  If  so,  it  is  not 
wise  to  add  another  struggler  to  the  com- 
petition. 

If  parents  would  only  help  their  children 
to  decide  what  they  really  wish  to  do,  what 
they  really  can  do,  and  what  work  is  in  de- 
mand, the  problem  of  vocational  guidance 
would  be  almost  solved. 


WHY  CHILDREN  LEAVE  SCHOOL 

President  Eliot  of  Harvard  has  said,  *'It 
is  high  time  that  our  teachers  and  leaders  of 
the  people  understood  that  every  civilized 
human  being  gets  the  larger  part  of  his  life 
training  in  the  occupation  through  which 
he  earns  his  livelihood,  and  that  his  school- 
ing in  youth  should  invariably  be  directed  to 
prepare  him  in  the  best  way  for  the  best 
permanent  occupation  for  which  he  is  ca- 
pable. In  other  words,  the  motive  of  the 
life-career  should  be  brought  into  play  as 
early  and  fully  as  possible. ' ' 

In  discussing  the  efficient  school,  we 
named  the  prime  duties  of  the  school  as 
follows : — the  promoting  of  health  and  good 
hygiene;  the  sound,  thorough  teaching  of 
elementary  subjects;  training  in  effective 
thinking;  the  cultivation  of  self-expression. 

To  these  I  would  add  President  Eliot's 

221 


222     Character  Training  in  Childhood 

statement  that  the  school  should  *' prepare 
the  child  in  the  best  way  for  the  best  perma- 
nent occupation  for  which  he  is  capable.'* 

In  olden  times  the  child's  daily  life  was  a 
natural  preparation  for  his  future  work. 
The  girl  was  taught  from  babyhood,  almost, 
to  sew,  spin,  knit  and  weave.  She  helped  in 
the  baking,  churning,  preserving  and  dry- 
ing of  fruits  and  vegetables,  in  the  care  of 
the  poultry,  the  dipping  of  candles,  the  clean- 
ing and  housework  generally. 

The  boy  grew  up  in  the  midst  of  his  fa- 
ther's business,  for  the  shop  and  family  liv- 
ing quarters  were  usually  under  one  roof. 
Often  the  blacksmithing,  harness-making, 
shoe-mending  and  numerous  activities  were 
a  part  of  the  family  life.  If  not,  the  small 
shops  where  these  things  were  done  were 
close  at  hand, — familiar  haunts  where  the 
neighborhood  lads  gathered  and  where  they 
learned  a  deal  about  the  various  vocations. 
The  boy  who,  from  babyhood,  has  taken  corn 
to  the  mill,  who  has  helped  with  farm  work, 
who  has  watched  the  shoemaker,  blacksmith, 


WHY  CHILDREN  LEAVE  SCHOOL 

Invesiigaiions  show  thai 

lack  of  interest,  as  well  as  poverty 

draws  children  from  school. 


"Aw. what's  the  use!" 

We  train  afew  for  entrance  to  college; 
Why  not  train  all  for  entrance  to  life 

The  school  must  prepare  the  child  for  life, 
by  giving  him 

Knowledge  of  his  own  abilities 
Acquaintance  with  the  field  of  opportunity 
Training  for  his  chosen  work 


Why  Children  Leave  School        223 

saddler,  carpenter  and  farmer  at  their  tasks, 
will  have  gradually  built  up  considerable 
knowledge  of  the  various  vocations  and  is 
likely  to  have  a  decided  notion  as  to  which 
one  he  prefers. 

In  our  modern  cities,  however,  and  in  most 
country  places,  the  boy  and  girl  have  no  such 
opportunities.  Here  again,  the  ready- 
madeness  of  their  life  is  a  terrible  obstacle. 
There  are  thousands  of  children  in  New 
York  who  have  never  even  seen  a  horse  shod, 
a  loaf  of  bread  baked,  a  shoe  mended,  or  a 
bit  of  carpentry  or  plumbing  done.  They 
know  nothing  about  the  different  lines  of 
work  and  cannot  be  expected  to  prefer  one 
to  another. 

Some  years  ago,  in  Grand  Rapids,  Michi- 
gan, five  hundred  and  thirty-one  high  school 
students  were  questioned  as  to  their  future 
plans.  Considerably  more  than  half  of  them 
had  made  no  decision  as  to  their  life-work. 
Of  those  who  had  decided,  half  had  no  prac- 
tical knowledge  of  the  vocation  which  they 
intended  to  enter.     Of  the  entire  five  hun- 


224.     Character  Training  in  Childhood 

dred  and  tMrty-one,  only  one  hundred  and 
fifty  were  planning  their  school  work  so  as 
to  fit  them  for  their  chosen  life-work. 

This  is  even  more  likely  to  be  the  case 
among  the  less  fortunate  boys  and  girls  who 
drop  out  of  school  long  before  high  school 
is  ended, — even  before  the  eighth  grade  is 
completed.  It  is  really  heart-breaking  to 
think  of  the  thousands  of  girls  and  boys  who 
yearly  leave  our  grammar  schools  with  no 
sound,  thorough  training,  no  knowledge  of 
their  own  abilities  or  handicaps,  no  acquaint- 
ance with  the  requirements  of  any  vocation, 
who  yet  are  expected  to  find  their  places  in 
this  vast,  complicated  business  machine.  It 
is  a  miracle  that  any  find  the  right  place,  not 
that  so  many  fail. 

Now  what  can  the  schools  do  about  it? 
How  can  they  "prepare  the  child  in  the  best 
way"  for  his  life  work? 

More  and  more  schools  are  answering  this 
question  by  giving  more  and  more  thorough 
industrial  training.  There  was  a  time  when 
a  boy  had  to  break  the  law  and  be  sent  to  a 


Why  Children  Leave  School        225 

reform  school  in  order  to  get  a  thorough 
trade  education.  Fortunately  this  is  no 
longer  true,  but  there  is  still  much  to  be  done. 
School  manual  training  courses  must  be  in- 
creased in  number  and  variety.  The  school 
work  must  be  given  a  vocational  bent.  The 
arithmetic  lesson  need  not  come  to  the  child 
in  the  guise  of  a  puzzle  propounded  by  the 
teacher  and  having  no  conceivable  connec- 
tion with  anything  else  in  life.  It  should 
be  a  conscious  preparation  for  the  under- 
standing of  costs,  expense  accounts,  survey- 
ing, banking,  and  the  whole  numerical  side 
of  life.  It  is  only  the  mathematically  gifted 
who  enjoy  it  as  a  "j^^^zle."  The  average 
child  must  be  made  to  realize  that  it  is  a 
highly  necessary  tool, — an  equipment  for 
practical  use. 

Language  work  should  not  be  a  juggling 
with  words,  but  an  exercise  in  the  use  of 
our  native  tongue,  to  enable  us  to  say  what 
we  mean; — a  much  rarer  accomplishment 
than  most  people  realize.  The  writing  of 
business  letters,   advertisements,  bulletins, 


226     Character  Training  in  Childhood 

prospectuses  and  other  literary  forms  used 
in  the  outer  world  will  be  of  enormous  bene- 
fit vocationally. 

In  addition  to  giving  this  vocational  twist 
to  the  course  of  study,  the  teacher  may  and 
should  institute  visits  to  various  factories, 
stores,  printing  establishments,  and  so  on, 
that  the  pupils  may  gain  a  knowledge  of  the 
various  trades  and  professions. 

In  his  autobiography,  Benjamin  Franklin 
tells  how  his  father  was  anxious  to  put  his 
son  to  the  most  suitable  trade.  "He  there- 
fore sometimes  took  me  to  walk  with  him 
and  see  joiners,  bricklayers,  turners, 
braziers,  etc.,  at  their  work,  that  he  might 
observe  my  inclination,  and  endeavor  to  fix 
it  on  some  trade  or  other. ' ' 

Mr.  J.  Adams  Puffer,  in  his  excellent 
book,  "Vocational  Guidance,"  points  out 
that  school  work  and  play,  together  with 
such  work  as  is  done  during  vacations,  may 
be  of  great  value  in  diagnosing  a  boy's  or 
girl's  abilities.  Some  actual  experience  in 
carpentry,  iron  working,  electric  wiring,  or 


Why  Children  Leave  School        227 

other  hand  work,  will  show  whether  the  boy 
has  a  bent  for  mechanics  and  will  make  a 
good  artisan.  A  few,  weeks  spent  behind  a 
counter  will  prove  conclusively  whether  the 
girl  or  boy  is  fitted  for  any  of  the  selling  oc- 
cupations. Similarly,  garden  work,  or  bet- 
ter still  experience  on  a  farm,  will  decide 
whether  the  pupil  is  fitted  for  farm  or  agri- 
cultural pursuits. 

Of  course  some  children  have  a  bent  so 
marked  that  there  is  no  mistaking  it.  I 
know  a  young  man  whose  mechanical  ability 
was  so  decided  that  it  showed  even  in  his 
babyhood.  One  day,  when  he  was  about  five, 
his  mother  had  difficulty  with  one  of  the 
steam  radiators.  ''Herbert  was  intensely 
interested,"  she  afterward  said  to  me,  "and 
when  I  gave  up  in  despair,  he  started  finger- 
ing the  screw  and  trying  to  discover  the 
trouble.  I  don't  know  what  he  did,  but  in 
a  few  moments,  he  had  fixed  it  so  that  it 
worked  all  right.  From  that  time  forward, 
Herbert  was  called  on  whenever  any  faucet 
or  other  fijiture  was  out  of  order."    This 


228     Character  Training  in  Childhood 

boy  took  no  interest  in  books  or  study  of  any 
sort,  but  was  passionately  interested  in  me- 
chanics and  especially  electricity.  At  six- 
teen he  was  placed  in  the  electrical  depart- 
ment of  a  railroad  company  and  has  re- 
mained there,  happy  and  useful  for  four 
years.  On  a  farm  or  in  business  he  would 
almost  certainly  have  been  a  total  failure. 

This  leads  me  to  say  a  word  about  the 
need  for  teachers  and  parents  to  study  more 
the  question  of  innate  abilities,  for  environ- 
ment and  education  cannot  fundamentally 
alter  these, — the  best  they  can  do  is  to  de- 
velop them. 

Every  parent  and  teacher  should  observe 
and  study  the  children  entrusted  to  his  care. 
He  should  familiarize  himself  with  the  gen- 
eral principles  of  physiognomy,  should  un- 
derstand how  to  read  the  outward  signs, — 
in  face,  physique,  hands  and  general  texture 
and  form, — of  the  personality  beneath.  If 
every  parent  understood  the  various  types 
of  temperament  and  could  read  their  out- 
ward signs,  we  should  not  see  the  imagina- 


Whi/  Children  Leave  School        229 

tive,  impractical  enthusiast  forced  into 
salesmanship,  the  born  artisan  struggling 
unsuccessfully  to  pass  his  bar  examinations, 
the  would-be  farmer  tied  to  a  counting 
house. 

We  must  regard  the  school  and  the  school 
must  regard  itself  as  a  preparation  for  life. 
This  it  must  be  whatever  else  it  fails  in  be- 
ing, and  when  it  truly  fills  this  role  our  chil- 
dren will  not,  as  they  too  often  do  now,  rush 
from  its  uncongenial  atmosphere  into  the 
first  ''blind-alley"  job  that  offers.  Instead 
they  will  be  eager  to  acquire  the  fullest 
preparation  for  the  best  work  of  wjiich  they 
are  capable. 


UNTRAINED  BOYS  AND  GIRLS 

The  tragedy  of  the  untrained  is  as  old  as 
civilization.  The  pyramids  stand  as  an 
eternal  monument  to  thousands  of  aching 
muscles  and  straining  backs,  condemned  to 
ache  and  strain  because  their  owners  were 
untrained.  Had  their  brains  and  bodies 
been  trained  to  better  activities,  they  would 
have  risen  and  cast  off  the  yoke  of  the  Egyp- 
tian kings. 

In  our  own  civilization,  the  '' hewers  of 
wood  and  drawers  of  water"  are  still  at  a 
great  disadvantage.  True  they  command 
higher  wages  than  ever  before  in  history, — 
at  the  moment,  indeed,  they  are  higher  than 
the  salaries  of  many  a  better  educated  man ; 
but  the  working  life  of  the  unskilled  laborer 
is  short.  At  forty  he  is  making  no  more 
than  he  did  at  twenty-five.  At  fifty,  he  is 
an  old  man,  unfit  for  heavy  manual  labor 
and  untrained  for  anything  else. 

230 


TheUNTRAlNED  WORKING  CHILD 


IN  AN  UNKNOWN  COUNTRY 
WITHOUT  MAP  OR  COMPASS 

NO  MAP:-  No  clear  knowledge  of  the 
industrial  world- 

NO  COMPASS:-  No  definite  purpose  and  training,- 
MEAN 
Drifting  from  job  to  job. 
Waste  of  time,  strength  and  happiness. 
Loss  of  interest  and  courage. 
Becoming  an  inefficient  "rolling  stone" 
Never  earning  a  living  wa^e, 
Being  thrown  on  the  scrap  heap'early. 


Untrained  Boys  and  Girls  231 

But  if  the  life  of  the  unskilled  manual 
laborer  is  hard,  far  worse  is  that  of  the  un- 
skilled worker  who  has  not  even  muscular 
strength  to  sell  and  who  goes  into  one  of  the 
**easy,"  blind-alley  jobs. 

Every  year  thousands  of  boys  and  girls 
whose  muscles  are  too  weak  for  them  to  do 
hard  labor,  and  whose  brains  and  hands 
are  too  untrained  for  them  to  enter  the  ranks 
of  the  skilled  artisan  or  clerical  or  profes- 
sional classes,  wander  aimlessly  into  these 
blind-alley  lines  of  work.  They  become 
messenger  boys,  boot-blacks,  cash  boys  or 
girls,  errand  boys,  telegraph  messengers, 
newsboys,  elevator  operators,  bundle-wrap- 
pers. 

It  has  been  pointed  out  by  many  voca- 
tional counsellors  that  much  of  this  work  is 
needed  and  worthy  of  respect,  but  that  it 
should  be  left  to  adults  who  have  proved 
their  inability  to  do  anything  better,  not 
done  by  boys  and  girls  who  have  their  whole 
working  lives  ahead  of  them. 

The  boy  or  girl  who  finds  himself  in  such 


232     Character  Training  in  Childhood 

a  blind-alley  occupation  is  often,  at  first, 
elated  by  the  mere  fact  of  earning  money. 
Soon,  however,  it  becomes  apparent  that 
there  is  "no  future"  in  the  work  and  off 
the  worker  drifts  to  try  something  else. 

The  records  of  the  juvenile  courts  and  re- 
formatories are  full  of  cases  where  a  boy  or 
girl  has  drifted  aimlessly  from  one  empty 
position  to  another,  a  fortnight  here,  a 
month  there,  never  staying  long  enough  even 
to  discover  whether  the  job  held  any  real  in- 
terest. 

This  sort  of  drifting  is  a  great  waste  of 
time  and  strength.  It  is  even  worse, — ^it 
develops  the  haMt  of  drifting,  so  that  the  boy 
or  girl  is  finally  unable  to  feel  any  lasting  in- 
terest or  make  any  continued  effort.  Thus 
do  we  manufacture  the  "vocational  ho- 
boes," the  army  of  "casuals"  who  orna- 
ment our  park  benches  and  whose  numerous 
families  the  social  worker  tries  vainly  to 
rehabilitate. 

To  my  mind  there  is  nothing  else  in  life 
quite  so  tragic  as  this  aimless  drifting  of 


Untrained  Boys  and  Girls  233 

youth.  It  ruins  the  boy  and  girl  as  work- 
ers; it  ruins  them  still  more  as  human  be- 
ings, for  the  trait  which  chiefly  distinguishes 
the  civilized  man  from  the  savage  is  that 
the  former  has  a  settled  purpose,  that  his  eye 
is  fixed  on  a  goal,  that  he  lives  in  a  better 
tomorrow,  not  merely  in  an  indolent  today. 

Therefore  every  parent  and  every  school 
should  give  the  children  under  their  care 
some  definite  training,  based  upon  their  spe- 
cial abilities. 

One  of  the  most  important  preliminary 
steps  is  the  testing  of  the  child's  mental  ca- 
pacity. A  very  large  number  of  our  "un- 
successfals"  are  mentally  subnormal  and 
therefore  quite  incapable  of  doing  better. 
Yet  we  cruelly  blame  the  nineteen  year  old 
lad  because,  being  but  thirteen  years  old 
mentally,  he  cannot  measure  up  to  his  co- 
workers. If  every  school  were  to  have  all 
its  children  examined  by  a  mental  expert, 
and  every  parent  of  a  mentally  deficient 
child  had  the  moral  courage  to  send  the  un- 
fortunate child  to  a  suitable  institution,  the 


234     Character  Training  in  Childhood 

ranks  of  our  tramps,  petty  criminals  and 
chronic  out-of-works  would  be  greatly 
thinned. 

This  matter  of  the  subnormal  child  is  so 
urgent  and  has  so  direct  a  bearing  on  the 
question  of  vocation  that  every  parent 
should  consider  it  deeply  and  intelligently. 

No  parent  likes  to  face  the  fact  that  his 
child  is  mentally  lacking,  but  if  it  is  a  fact, 
our  shutting  our  eyes  to  it  only  makes  it 
worse, — harder  for  the  child  himself  and  in- 
finitely harder  on  others. 

It  makes  it  harder  on  the  child  because  he 
is  constantly  being  measured  by  an  unfair 
standard,  constantly  being  expected  to  do 
and  be  more  than  is  possible  for  him.  The 
truest  kindness  to  such  a  child  is  to  place 
him  in  a  well-conducted  institution  espe- 
cially planned  for  such  as  he.  Here  he  will 
be  spared  the  pain  and  friction  that  come 
from  trying  to  live  up  to  an  impossible 
standard.  He  will  be  tenderly  guarded, 
taught  to  do  all  of  which  he  is  capable,  and 
will  have  the  companionship  of  his  equals. 


Untrained  Boys  and  Girls  235 

Did  you  ever  stop  to  think  how  terrible 
it  would  be  to  have  to  live  entirely  in  the 
society  of  a  world  of  super-men,  while  you 
retained  only  your  average  intellect  ?  Just 
fancy  living  in  a  family  made  up  of  Sappho, 
Darwin,  Shakspere  and  Edison,  listening 
to  their  conversation  and  trying  to  ''hold  up 
your  end"! 

Fancy  this,  and  you  may  get  a  notion  of 
the  terrible  strain  felt  by  a  subnormal  child 
in  trying  to  live  up  to  a  normal  family  and 
a  normal  society.  No,  our  kindness  is 
cruelty  if  it  means  that  we  ''cannot  bear"  to 
send  our  little  sufferer  into  a  more  fitting  at- 
mosphere. Visit  the  Training  School  at 
Vineland,  New  Jersey,  see  the  smiling,  busy 
boys  and  girls, — many  of  them  grown  men 
and  women,  but  all  spoken  of  as  "the  chil- 
dren,"— and  you  will  wonder  how  any  par- 
ent has  the  heart  to  deny  his  unfortunate 
child  such  training  for  hajDpiness  and  even 
self-support. 

But  to  keep  the  subnormal  child  at  home, 
where  he  mingles  with  normal  children,  is 


236     Character  Training  in  Childhood 

even  more  unfair  to  society  than  to  Mm. 
Many  children  who,  though  sixteen  to 
twenty  years  of  age,  are  mentally  but  thir- 
teen,— morons,  to  use  the  scientific  term, — 
seem,  to  the  casual  observer,  quite  normal. 
At  Vineland,  you  will  see  many  pretty,  at- 
tractive girls  who  look,  to  your  untrained 
eye,  perfectly  normal.  Now,  if  these 
morons  remain  at  home,  especially  if  their 
parents  refuse  to  admit  their  subnormality 
and  shield  it  from  discovery,  they  are  very 
likely  to  marry,  with  the  result  that  their 
misfortune  is  almost  certain  to  be  handed 
down  to  some  of  their  descendants.  The 
records  of  charitable  organizations  are  full 
of  the  families  of  these  unfortunates, 
blindly  marrying,  blindly  passing  on  their 
affliction,  to  the  incalculable  damage  of  the 
race. 

Therefore  to  every  parent  of  a  subnormal 
child  I  would  say,  *'For  the  sake  of  your 
child's  happiness,  send  him  where  he  will 
be  tenderly  and  understandingly  taught 
among  those  who  are  his  equals,  and  where, 


Untrained  Boys  and  Girls  237 

when  you  are  no  longer  there  to  protect  him, 
he  will  be  guarded  from  all  harm.  For  the 
sake  of  the  human  race,  send  him  where  his 
affliction  will  die  with  him,  not  be  passed  on, 
to  the  undoing  of  thousands  yet  unborn." 

And  to  the  parent  of  the  normal  child  I 
would  say,  ^'Knoiv  your  child,  his  desires 
and  his  abilities.  Know  what  opportunities 
lie  in  the  various  fields  of  work.  Help  him 
to  know  these  things  also.  Then  help  him 
to  such  training  as  will  prepare  him  to  use 
his  abilities  to  the  best  possible  purpose." 


TRAINING  FOR  HOME-MAKING 

Despite  the  prophets  of  a  new  order  which 
shall  bring  with  it  the  abolition  of  the  pri- 
vate home,  the  home  is  still  with  us  and  bids 
fair  to  remain  with  us  for  many  years  to 
come.  These  same  prophets  are  wont  to 
proclaim  the  approaching  abolition  of  mar- 
riage and  domestic  duties  for  woman,  in 
favor  of  an  industrial  or  business  career. 

But,  as  yet,  statistics  are  against  these 
arguments.  About  fifteen  out  of  every  six- 
teen American  women  continue  to  marry  and 
of  these  the  vast  majority  make  their  own 
homes. 

Now,  since  there  are  fifteen  chances  to 
one  that  your  girl,  sooner  or  later,  will  be 
at  the  head  of  her  own  household,  this  home- 
making  should  be  considered  above  all  oth- 
ers, her  probable  vocation,  and  she  should  be 
trained  accordingly. 

233 


TRAINING  R)R  HOME-MAKING 


^  ^ 


"LEARNING  HOW" 

15  oui  of  every  16  American  girls  marry. 
Why  not  prepare  them  for  marriage? 

Every  girl  should  be  trained  in 

Personal  hygiene 

Food  values^and  cookery 

Household  sanitation 

Buying  and  making  dothin^ 

Wise  spending  of  money 

Home  furnishing  and  decoration 

Care  and  training  of  children 

Knowledge  of  the  laws  of  heredity. 


Training  for  Home-Maldng         239 

The  responsibility  for  this  training  has 
gradually  been  shifted  more  and  more  from 
the  home  to  the  school.  This  is  probably 
wise,  for  nowadays  there  are  many  homes 
in  which  there  is  really  no  opportunity  for 
such  training.  The  foreign  mother  is 
usually  unable  to  teach,  because  she  is  her- 
self ignorant  of  the  best  American  methods 
of  household  work.  In  many  homes,  the 
mother  must  be  breadwinner.  In  others, 
of  the  wealthier  sort,  the  servants  object 
to  having  anyone  "mess  around"  in  their 
province. 

Yet  I  cannot  but  feel  that  every  mother 
to  whom  it  is  at  all  possible  should  at  least 
supplement  the  school  course  in  domestic 
science  by  some  training  at  home.  The 
school  course  is,  necessarily,  somewhat  in- 
flexible ;  it  cannot  usually  take  up  such  prac- 
tical matters  as  the  use  of  "left-overs"  to 
concoct  toothsome  dishes,  and  the  making  of 
new  hats  or  garments  from  old  materials. 
Nor  does  the  school  usually  give  a  thorough, 
practical  experience  in  marketing  and  the 


240     Character  Training  in  Childhood 

use  of  monej.  Comparatively  few  schools 
give  any  training  in  the  care  and  rearing  of 
children,  and  I  know  of  none  that  teach  that 
vital  subject, — the  laws  of  heredity. 

Therefore,  if  our  girls  are  to  be  prepared 
for  their  vocation  of  mothers  and  home- 
makers,  their  training  cannot,  as  yet,  be  left 
wholly  in  the  hands  of  the  schools. 

Moreover,  though  the  schools  may,  in  time, 
teach  all  the  branches  of  domestic  science, 
they  can  never  really  train  in  home-making. 
If  Belle  learns  how  to  make  strawberry- 
shortcake  at  school,  she  has  merely  learned 
to  make  a  palatable  dessert,  but  if,  flushed 
with  pride,  she  places  her  shortcake  before 
her  family  and  listens  to  their  praise,  while 
she  watches  their  enjoyment,  she  has  learned 
something  of  the  pride  and  joy  of  being  a 
home-maker. 

The  girl  who  learns  the  different  cuts  of 
meat  from  a  chart  on  the  school-room  wall 
learns  the  dry  facts,  but  she  misses  some- 
thing quite  invaluable  that  is  gained  by  the 
girl  who  goes  marketing  with  her  mother, 


Training  for  IIome-Mahing         241 

The  school  teaches  the  technique  of  keep- 
ing house ;  the  mother  must  teach  the  art  of 
making  a  home. 

From  earliest  childhood,  the  girl, — and 
the  boy  too, — must  be  gradually  prepared 
for  this  supreme  vocation.  Whatever  else 
they  may  or  may  not  become  the  chances  are 
that  they  will  be  mothers  and  fathers. 
Therefore  this  training  must  take  prece- 
dence over  everything  else. 

The  four  year  old  son  of  a  friend  of  mine 
was  once  asked  what  he  meant  to  be  when 
he  grew  up.  With  the  utmost  seriousness, 
he  replied,  "Well,  I  fink  I  will  get  a  lot  of 
thticks  and  build  a  houthe  and  be  a  farver.'' 
Would  that  all  our  boys  had  as  worthy  an 
ambition ! 

And  now  what  is  the  most  practical  means 
of  training  our  future  home-makers? 

During  the  winter  term  of  school,  most 
children  have  but  little  extra  time  and  should 
not  be  required  to  do  much  work  about  the 
house,  but  there  is  no  reason  why  every 
child  over  seven  should  not  make  his  or  her 


242     Character  Training  in  Childhood 

own  bed  and,  a  few  years  later,  take  entire 
charge  of  his  room. 

In  a  family  of  my  acquaintance  there  were 
four  daughters  who  shared  two  bedrooms. 
On  Saturday  mornings,  two  cleaned  the 
bedrooms,  one  did  the  marketing  and  the 
other  made  cake  or  some  other  special  dish 
for  the  Sunday  dinner.  Each  week  they  ex- 
changed tasks,  so  that  each  one  had  her 
chance  at  cleaning,  marketing  or  cooking. 

In  another  household,  the  girls  take  turns 
getting  the  Sunday  supper  and  great  is  the 
rivalry  to  see  who  can  prepare  the  best  meal 
within  a  stipulated  cost. 

Especially  irksome  tasks  can  be  lightened 
by  being  done  in  company.  Stocking-darn- 
ing is  much  less  wearisome  if  done  in  a  group 
while  one  reads  aloud.  As  for  hulling  ber- 
ries, my  memory  goes  happily  back  to  a  sum- 
mer twenty  and  more  years  ago,  when  my 
sisters  and  I  hulled  fruit  all  day  for  the 
winter's  supply  of  jam,  and  felt  scarcely  a 
trace  of  weariness  because  we  were  listening 
to  the  enchanting  pages  of  ''Villette." 


Training  for  Home-Making         243 

Of  course,  no  one  advocates  making  a  girl 
or  boy  work  too  hard  during  the  summer  va- 
cation, but  judiciously  arranged  work  dur- 
ing this  time  means  a  fine  training  for  the 
future  home-maker.  This  means  that 
Mother  must  not  be  too  "unselfish."  She 
must  not  be  like  one  mother  I  know  who 
says,  ''Oh,  I  do  want  Lucille  to  be  happy 
while  she's  young."  So  Lucille  dances  and 
picnics  and  swims  and  plays  tennis  all  sum- 
mer, while  Mother  washes  and  mends  her 
white  dresses  and  makes  cake  and  lemon- 
ade for  the  heated  tennis  players. 

In  many  a  home  the  sons  and  daughters 
live  like  ''star  boarders,"  enjoying  all  the 
benefits  of  the  home,  criticising  any  slight  in- 
convenience, and  doing  absolutely  nothing  to 
help  in  any  way.  One  such  girl  of  my  ac- 
quaintance, whose  home  was  by  no  means 
wealthy,  but  whose  mother  was  indulgent 
and  very  efficient,  at  sixteen  years  old  had 
not  the  slightest  idea  how  to  darn  her  own 
stockings.  She  had  never  been  used  to  wait 
on  herself  and  one  morning,  when  breakfast- 


244     Character  Training  in  Childhood       " 

ing  with  me,  actually  turned  to  me  with  the 
request  that  I  break  her  Qgg. 

No,  the  indulgent  mother  or  father  is 
really  the  cruel  one.  It  is  no  kindness  to 
bring  a  girl  up  in  total  ignorance  of  the  art 
of  home-making  and  then  allow  her  to  learn 
how  after  marriage. 

As  to  training  in  the  care  of  babies  and 
children,  the  average  bride  knows  no  more 
about  it  than  the  baby  himself  does. 

A  young  wife  said  to  me  once,  rather 
doubtfully,  "I  suppose  perhaps  it  would  be 
better  if  I  nursed  the  baby,  wouldn't  if?" 
And  when  I  told  her  that  it  would  multiply 
by  five  her  baby's  chance  of  living  if  she 
nursed  him,  she  replied,  in  amazement, 
*'Why  I  hadn't  the  least  idea  that  it  made 
any  great  difference. ' '  And  yet  this  young 
woman,  who  had  received  no  training  what- 
ever for  motherhood,  had  spent  hundreds  of 
dollars  and  years  of  study  to  fit  herself  for 
success  as  a  musician. 

Or  consider  the  question  of  heredity. 
How  many  of  our  boys  and  girls  know  any- 


Training  for  Home-Making         245 

thing  practical  about  the  laws  of  heredity? 
How  many  of  them  realize  the  danger  of 
marriage  where  there  is  a  persistent  strain 
of  feeble-mindedness  or  insanity?  We  can- 
not afford  to  wait  until  our  boy  or  girl  is  in 
love,  for  not  one  person  in  a  thousand  is 
willing,  then,  to  listen.  We  must  make 
them  understand,  even  in  childhood,  the  re- 
sponsibility of  parents  to  transmit  a  healthy 
heritage  to  their  children. 

Perhaps  I  may  be  accused  of  dampening 
youthful  ardor  and  darkening  youthful  hap- 
piness with  a  premature  cloud  of  respon- 
sibility. ''I  want  to  shield  my  children," 
the  fond  parent  cries,  "from  knowing  the 
seamy  side  of  life." 

This  plea  might  be  valid,  if  such  shielding 
were  ever  really  possible,  but  it  is  not.  The 
boy  or  girl  cannot  go  on  living  in  an  unreal 
paradise.  He  must  take  his  place  in  the 
world  as  it  is  and  do  his  part  toward  making 
it  better  for  those  who  are  to  follow  him. 

Moreover,  the  happiness  of  the  coming 
world  depends  on  how  the  boys  and  girls  of 


244     Character  Training  in  Childhood       ' 

ing  with  me,  actually  turned  to  me  with  the 
request  that  I  break  her  egg. 

No,  the  indulgent  mother  or  father  is 
really  the  cruel  one.  It  is  no  kindness  to 
bring  a  girl  up  in  total  ignorance  of  the  art 
of  home-making  and  then  allow  her  to  learn 
how  after  marriage. 

As  to  training  in  the  care  of  babies  and 
children,  the  average  bride  knows  no  more 
about  it  than  the  baby  himself  does. 

A  young  wife  said  to  me  once,  rather 
doubtfully,  "I  suppose  perhaps  it  would  be 
better  if  I  nursed  the  baby,  wouldn't  it?" 
And  when  I  told  her  that  it  would  multiply 
by  five  her  baby's  chance  of  living  if  she 
nursed  him,  she  replied,  in  amazement, 
*'Why  I  hadn't  the  least  idea  that  it  made 
any  great  difference. ' '  And  yet  this  young 
woman,  who  had  received  no  training  what- 
ever for  motherhood,  had  spent  hundreds  of 
dollars  and  years  of  study  to  fit  herself  for 
success  as  a  musician. 

Or  consider  the  question  of  heredity. 
How  many  of  our  boys  and  girls  know  any- 


Training  for  Home-Making         245 

thing  practical  about  the  laws  of  heredity? 
How  many  of  them  realize  the  danger  of 
marriage  where  there  is  a  persistent  strain 
of  feeble-mindedness  or  insanity?  We  can- 
not afford  to  wait  until  our  boy  or  girl  is  in 
love,  for  not  one  person  in  a  thousand  is 
willing,  then,  to  listen.  We  must  make 
them  understand,  even  in  childhood,  the  re- 
sponsibility of  parents  to  transmit  a  healthy 
heritage  to  their  children. 

Perhaps  I  may  be  accused  of  dampening 
youthful  ardor  and  darkening  youthful  hap- 
piness with  a  premature  cloud  of  respon- 
sibility. *'I  want  to  shield  my  children," 
the  fond  parent  cries,  "from  knowing  the 
seamy  side  of  life. ' ' 

This  plea  might  be  valid,  if  such  shielding 
were  ever  really  possible,  but  it  is  not.  The 
boy  or  girl  cannot  go  on  living  in  an  unreal 
paradise.  He  must  take  his  place  in  the 
world  as  it  is  and  do  his  part  toward  making 
it  better  for  those  who  are  to  follow  him. 

Moreover,  the  happiness  of  the  coming 
world  depends  on  how  the  boys  and  girls  of 


246     Character  Training  in  Childhood 

today  are  trained.  If  they  are  allowed  to 
live  as  strangers  in  their  own  homes,  fed, 
clad  and  housed  with  no  thought  or  respon- 
sibility on  their  part,  they  are  likely  to  be- 
come the  sort  of  parents  who  live  at  restaur- 
ants, flit  from  one  apartment  to  another  and 
feel  no  love  or  pride  in  their  homes. 

If  they  grow  up  with  no  knowledge  of 
what  marriage  and  parenthood  involves, 
they  are  likely  to  marry  hastily,  shirk  par- 
enthood, and  end  in  unhappiness  or  even 
divorce. 

Lastly,  let  me  insist  that  this  plea  of 
shielding  our  children  from  responsibility  is 
based  on  an  utter  mistake  as  to  what  makes 
people  happy.  The  idlest  and  most  pleas- 
ure-loving young  people  I  know  are  the 
most  unhappy,  the  most  discontented. 
Those  who  share  not  merely  the  play,  but 
the  work  and  even  the  sorrow  and  care  in 
their  homes  are  the  happiest.  Is  it  too  much 
to  assume  that  they  will  also  be  the  happiest 
home-makers  of  the  future? 


THE  DRONE  AND  THE  WORKER 

There  is  nothing,  I  believe,  which  makes 
or  mars  a  man's  happiness  so  effectually 
as  his  attitude  toward  work  and  toward  his 
own  special  task.  Nor  is  there  anj^hing 
which  more  profoundly  affects  the  economic 
and  the  moral  life  of  a  nation  than  the  spirit 
of  its  workers. 

We  are  having,  as  I  write,  a  most  humiliat- 
ing and  disheartening  exhibition  of  what  a 
nation  must  suffer  when  its  workers  are  in- 
terested in  doing  as  little  and  getting  as 
much  as  possible.  This  ideal  of  getting 
something  for  nothing  is  suicidal,  as  the 
workers  and  the  capitalists  alike  must 
learn,  sooner  or  later. 

Similarly,  the  boy  and  girl  who  enter  the 
working  world  with  this  false  ideal  are 
doomed,  and  justly,  to  disappointment. 

One  often  hears  a  college  student  say, 

247 


250     Character  Training  in  Childhood 

to  be  entirely  avoided,  if  possible  and,  if  not, 
to  be  shirked  and  scamped? 

We  all  know  people  whose  aversion  to 
work  is  excusable  on  the  ground  of  ill  health. 
But  this  is  not  the  real  root  of  the  matter  in 
most  cases,  especially  as  so  many  extremely 
frail  people  have  been  possessed  of  indomi- 
table energy, — witness  Stevenson,  Darwin, 
Woodrow  Wilson,  and  scores  of  others. 

Often,  too,  indolence  is  excused  on  the 
ground  that  one's  work  is  uncongenial. 
This  argument  would  have  more  weight  if 
there  were  not  so  many  people  who  find  any 
work  uncongenial. 

The  root  of  the  difficulty  seems  to  me  to  be 
that  industry,  like  unselfishness,  is  not,  ex- 
cept in  rare  individuals,  an  inborn  trait. 
The  savage,  as  a  rule,  except  under  the  spur 
of  hunger  or  danger,  is  lazy;  so  is  the  un- 
trained *'civiHzed"  man;  so,  except  where  he 
has  been  otherwise  taught,  is  the  average 
child. 

Now  how  shall  we  give  our  children  such 
an  attitude  toward  work  that  they  shall  see 


The  Drone  and  the  Worker        251 

it  as  both  a  duty  and  a  privilege?  How 
shall  we  train  them  to  overcome  the  selfish, 
dependent,  indolent  spirit  that  animates  the 
savage,  and  grow  into  the  serviceable,  in- 
dependent, industrious  spirit  that  marks  a 
really  civilized  human  being? 

This  question  has  already  to  some  extent 
been  answered  in  the  preceding  chapters; 
but  I  wish  to  add  a  word  in  regard  to  this 
matter  of  our  attitude  toward  work. 

Every  human  being  who  is  born  into  the 
world  comes  here  to  do  something,  to  con- 
tribute something  which  no  other  soul  can 
give.  Our  children  must  not  only  be  given 
work  to  do,  must  not  only  be  given  technical 
training,  must  not  only  be  prepared  for 
their  vocations, — they  must  also  be  made  to 
feel  that  they  are,  above  all  else,  workers. 
They  must  regard  work  as  the  only  condi- 
tion on  which  an  able-bodied  man  has  a  right 
to  live  and  receive  the  benefits  of  society. 

If  we  are  to  give  our  children  this  atti- 
tude, we  must  first  make  it  our  own.  We 
must  not  envy  those  who  make  wealth  an 


252     Character  Training  in  Childhood 

excuse  for  idleness.  We  must  honestly  ad- 
mire, and  show  our  children  that  we  admire 
everyone,  high  or  low,  who  works  hard  and 
well.  We  must  condemn,  in  vigorous  terms, 
the  ideal  of  ''something  for  nothing."  We 
must  praise  the  child's  effort,  even  if  it  is 
less  successful  than  his  more  brilliant  broth- 
er's. We  must,  by  our  own  scorn,  train  our 
children  to  scorn  sloth  and  dependence. 

In  the  primary  readers  when  I  was  a  child, 
there  was  a  delightful  parable  about  a  "Lit- 
tle Red  Hen,"  who  sowed  a  grain  of  wheat 
and  asked  all  the  barnyard  fowls  to  help 
her,  but  all  were  too  lazy.  She  met  with  the 
same  refusal  in  regard  to  the  reaping, 
threshing,  milling  and  baking  of  the  flour 
into  a  cake,  and  at  each  refusal,  "Well,  I 
will  then,"  said  the  Little  Red  Hen, — and 
she  did. 

But  at  last,  when  it  came  to  eating  the 
cake,  every  fowl  in  the  yard  was  eager  to 
help.  But,  "I'll  do  that  myself,"  said  the 
Little  Red  Hen, — and  she  did. 

Across  the  years  I  can  still  remember  the 


The  Drone  and  the  Worker        253 

satisfaction  with  which  I  thought  of  the 
little  hen  eating  her  well-earned  cake  while 
the  lazy  fowls  looked  enviously  on. 

For  older  children,  there  is  much  inspira- 
tion in  the  biographies  of  famous  men  and 
women  who  won  their  way  upward  through 
hard  work.  If  the  hoys  read  the  lives  of 
Lincoln,  Edison  and  Roosevelt,  and  the  girls 
follow  the  struggles  of  Anna  Howard  Shaw, 
Clara  Barton  and  Alice  Freeman  Palmer, 
work  will  gain  a  new  dignity  and  worth  in 
their  eyes. 

Another  line  of  reading  that  will  help 
may  be  found  in  books  concerning  the 
''Heroes  of  Peace," — the  firemen,  police,  ex- 
plorers, and  all  the  multitude  of  workers 
who  daily  give  their  lives  to  make  the  world 
more  comfortable  and  worth  while  for  the 
rest  of  us. 

If  a  boy  or  girl  once  gets  the  vision  of 
this  world  as  an  army  of  workers,  he  or  she 
will  be  as  much  ashamed  to  be  a  ''slacker" 
as  every  decent  man  was  during  the  great 
war. 


254     Character  Training  in  Childhood 

But  it  is  not  quite  enough  to  feel  work  as 
a  duty;  it  must  also  be  realized  as  a  privi- 
lege. When  Bobbie  reaches  the  manly  age 
of  seven,  give  him  the  privilege  of  blacking 
his  own  boots.  Let  the  more  interesting  and 
responsible  tasks  be  given  as  rewards  for 
the  faithful  worker;  for  Elbert  Hubbard 
was  quite  right  in  declaring  that  the  reward 
for  good  work  is  the  ability  to  do  more  and 
better  work. 

And  when  you  pass  a  mutilated  soldier, 
impress  on  Bobbie,  and  on  his  sister  and 
older  brother,  that  the  tragedy  of  being  un- 
able to  work  is  almost  the  worst  that  can 
befall  a  manly  man.  Make  them  feel  that 
there  is  nothing  so  bitter  as  the  bitterness  of 
willing  dependence  upon  others,  and  no  joy 
so  real,  so  deep,  so  lasting  as  the  satisfaction 
of  honest  work  honestly  done. 

If  we  fail  to  teach  this  one  great  truth  to 
our  children,  we  have  failed  to  teach  them 
one  of  the  main  facts  in  life.  If  we  do  suc- 
ceed in  teaching  them  this,  we  shall  have 


The  Drone  and  4he  Worker        255 

given  them  a  staff  and  a  solace  which  will 
make  their  happiness  substantial  and  their 
sorrows  endurable,  for  the  remainder  of 
their  lives. 


YII 

THE  EELIGIOUS  EDUCATION 
OF  THE  CHILD 


THE  RELIGION  OF  A  CHILD 

The  question  of  meeting  the  religious 
needs  of  our  children  seems  to  me  the  most 
vital,  the  most  difficult  and  the  most  unsuc- 
cessfully handled  of  all  the  questions  in- 
volved in  child  training. 

Here  again,  if  we  are  honest,  we  must  ad- 
mit that  the  difficulty  lies  not  in  our  children 
mainly,  but  in  ourselves.  We  cannot  make 
religion  a  reality  to  them  unless  it  is  first 
a  reality  to  us.  We  cannot  lead  thought- 
less, selfish,  pleasure-seeking  lives  and  make 
the  nobler  life  seem  desirable  to  them.  Chil- 
dren are,  above  all,  honest.  They  detect 
shams  with  unerring  intuition.  Many  and 
many  a  child  has  become  a  scoffer  at  all  re- 
ligion because  of  the  contrast  between  his 
parents'  teaching  and  their  living.  ''What 
you  are  speaks  so  loud  that  I  cannot  hear 
what  you  say. ' ' 

Therefore  the  first  step  in  giving  our  chil- 

259 


260     Character  Training  in  Childhood 

dren  a  truly  religious  spirit  is  to  make  sure 
that  we  have  that  spirit  ourselves.  In 
**  Joan  and  Peter,"  Wells  makes  the  school- 
master say,  ''If  a  little  boy  has  not  only 
heard  of  God  but  seen  God  as  a  living  in- 
fluence upon  the  people  about  him,  then,  I 
admit,  you  have  something  real.  He  will 
believe  in  God. — Such  a  boy's  world  will 
fall  into  shape  about  the  idea  of  God.  Such 
a  boy  can  be  religious  from  childhood.  But 
there  are  very  few  such  homes.  For  all 
other  boys,  God,  for  aU  practical  purposes 
does  not  exist. ' ' 

The  statement  that  "there  are  very  few 
such  homes"  is  as  true  of  America  as  of 
England.  Sometimes  this  is  due  to  the  fact 
that  the  parents  really  are  shallow,  irre- 
ligious and  material  and  that  God  is  not  "a 
living  influence."  Sometimes, — let  us  hope 
more  often, — they  have  a  real  religion,  and 
feel  God  as  a  living  influence,  but  they  can- 
not break  through  their  reserve.  They  hide 
their  religious  impulses  even  from  the  eyes 
of  their  children,  and  so  the  children  never 


^,0 RELIGION  OF  A  CHILD 

IS  expressed 
not  through  set  forms,  but 
through  reverence,  love  and  service. 


Encourage  children  io  admire 
beauty  and  to  "look  through 
Nature  up  to  Natures  God" 


The  Religion  of  a  Child  261 

see  religion  as  a  vital  part  of  life.  Wells 
truly  says  that  for  these  children  God,  actu- 
ally "does  not  exist." 

There  is  still  a  third  type  of  parent  with 
whom  religion  is  a  real  thing,  and  who  is 
eager  to  share  it  mth  his  children,  but  who 
makes  the  mistake  of  trying  to  cram  an  adult 
conception  of  religion  down  the  throat  of  his 
child. 

Nothing  is  more  futile  than  to  preach 
dogma  to  a  child  or  to  enforce  upon  him  a 
ritual  which,  to  him,  must  be  quite  meaning- 
less. There  are  dogmas  which  to  many 
adults  are  very  precious,  there  are  forms 
and  rituals  which  are  full  of  sacred,  spirit- 
ual meaning,  but  which  merely  puzzle  the 
child. 

I  am  reminded  of  a  little  seven-year-old 
friend  of  mine  whose  Quaker  mother  one  day 
permitted  her  to  go  unattended  to  a  church 
close  by,  where  her  friend,  Mrs.  L.,  wor- 
shipped. Edna  returned  from  church  with 
a  sadly  dejected  air.  *' Didn't  thee  enjoy 
church,  dear?"  her  mother  inquired. 


262     Character  Training  in  Childhood 

*'No,"  was  the  reply. 

*'Did  thee  sit  in  Mrs.  L/s  pew?" 

'*Yes,  but  she  was  very  rude  to  me." 

^'Rude!  Oh  surely  not!  What  did  she 
do?" 

''Why,  just  before  the  end  of  the  service, 
they  passed  around  refreshments,  and  Mrs. 
L.  never  offered  me  a  single  bit." 

Just  as,  to  little  Edna,  the  communion 
service  was  merely  "refreshments,"  so  the 
dogmas  of  the  Atonement,  the  Trinity  and 
the  Incarnation  are  to  children  mere  puz- 
zling words,  which  are  somehow  mysteri- 
ously mixed  up  with  the  God  to  whom  grown 
folks  pray. 

No,  the  religion  of  the  childish  heart  does 
not  naturally  express  itcelf  in  dogma  or  rit- 
ual, but  in  instinctive  reverence,  in  love  for 
family,  friends  and  household  pets,  and  in 
service. 

I  say  "instinctive"  reverence,  because  I 
firmly  believe  reverence  to  be  an  instinct  of 
the  human  heart, — though,  like  many  other 
instincts,  it  may  wither  away  if  not  fed  and 


The  Religion  of  a  Child  263 

allowed  suitable  expression.  People  speak 
of  the  ** irreverence  of  youth"  but  I  think 
the  phrase  is  based  on  a  mistake.  Of  course 
children  do  not  reverence  things  or  people 
that  are  not  truly  reverend, — they  are  too 
honest  for  that.  But  they  do  reverence,  un- 
less their  instinct  has  been  stifled  or  per- 
verted, that  which  they  really  feel  to  be 
higher  and  better  than  themselves. 

One  of  the  high  lights  in  my  childhood  is 
the  memory  of  an  enormously  fleshy  old  lady 
who  frequently  visited  our  home  and  whose 
many  eccentricities  of  speech  and  manner 
we, — behind  her  back, — took  a  wicked  de- 
light in  mimicking.  I  can  still  see  my  old- 
est sister,  with  pillows  fore  and  aft,  sail- 
ing majestically  about  the  playroom  "tak- 
ing off"  old  Miss  G.,  while  the  rest  of  us 
rocked  back  and  forth  in  spasms  of  laughter. 

Was  this  irreverence?  Not  at  all.  Miss 
G.  was,  to  us,  a  selfish,  tedious  old  nuisance 
who  was  always  arriving  at  the  wrong  time 
and  who  always  wanted  to  hold  your  hand 
and  inquire  as  to  your  progress  at  school 


264     Character  Training  in  Childhood 

when  you  were  aching  to  get  back  to  your 
interrupted  game.  There  was  nothing  rev- 
erend about  her. 

But  we  knew  full  well  what  reverence 
meant.  We  gave  it  in  fullest  measure  to  the 
genius  who  presided  over  our  home,  whose 
love  and  sympathy  were  inexhaustible, 
whose  rule  was  based  on  justice  and  whose 
authority  was  as  unquestioned  as  the  laws  of 
the  universe.  In  her  we  saw,  and  revered, 
the  embodiment  at  once  of  love  and  law. 

I  sometimes  question  whether  any  child 
can  quite  make  up  in  later  life  for  the  ir- 
reverence that  springs  from  having  "irrev- 
erend''  parents.  Someone  has  pertinently 
remarked  that  unless  the  child  can  revere 
the  father  whom  he  has  seen,  the  man  will 
find  it  hard  to  revere  the  Father  whom  he  has 
not  seen. 

Yes,  the  first  step  in  making  a  child  rever- 
ent is  to  give  him  parents,  teachers  and  older 
companions  whom  he  can  respect,  admire 
and  love, — ^who  are  honest,  loving,  just  and 
consistent. 


The  Religion  of  a  Child  265 

The  second  step,  as  we  have  said,  is  that  he 
shall  catch  the  reverent,  religious  spirit  from 
those  around  him,  seeing  God  as  a  real  and 
living  influence  upon  their  lives. 

The  third  is  that  he  shall  be  brought  into 
constant  contact  with  the  beautiful,  pure  and 
inspiring  sights  and  sounds  of  this  world  and 
be  guarded  from  the  ugly,  sordid  and  de- 
basing ones.  The  strong  man  can  learn  to 
see  God  even  amid  squalor  and  iniquity,  but 
the  little  child  must  first  learn  to  worship 
Him  in  ''the  beauty  of  holiness." 

The  slum  is  the  creator  of  the  irreverent 
and  lawless.  Its  product  is  the  ' '  tough  guy ' ' 
who  boasts  that  he  respects  neither  God  nor 
man.  The  same  thing,  in  a  lesser  degree,  is 
true  of  the  lurid  or  vulgar  motion  picture, 
the  coarse  and  stupid  "comic"  supplement, 
the  suggestive  story,  the  stage  horse-play, 
the  dance  which  substitutes  "jazz"  and 
"pep"  for  grace  and  beauty,  the  whole  mass 
of  stupid,  ugly  inanities  which  so  blind  our 
eyes  and  deafen  our  ears  that  we  cannot  see 
or  hear  the  beauty  of  God's  universe. 


266     Character  Training  in  Childhood 

No,  you  cannot  build  a  reverent  spirit 
among  surroundings  where  there  is  nothing 
to  revere,  for  reverence  is  the  feeling  that 
comes  over  us  when  we  recognize  something 
higher,  nobler,  more  beautiful  than  our- 
selves. 

Reverence  and  humility  go  hand  in  hand, 
and  for  this  reason  an  unspoiled  child  is  full 
of  reverence,  living,  as  he  does,  in  a  universe 
where  he  sees  so  much  strength,  so  much 
power,  where  all  are  so  much  bigger  and 
know  so  much  more  than  he. 

But  the  child  who  lives  among  silly,  fickle 
adults,  and  whose  attention  is  fixed  upon 
sordid  interests  and  vulgar  pleasures,  that 
child's  innate  reverence  is  likely  to  die  of 
starvation. 

This  is  especially  the  case  where  the  nat- 
ural and  beautiful  humility  of  childhood  is 
spoiled  by  "showing  off." 

I  do  not  mean  that  we  should  not  encour- 
age our  children  and  even  urge  them  to  come 
forward  and  win  recognition.  Assuredly 
we  have  passed  the  old  idea  that  "children 


The  Religion  of  a  Child  267 

should  be  seen  and  not  heard."  But  the 
child  who  is  encouraged  to  be  ''smart," 
whose  precocious  impudence  to  his  elders 
evokes  only  laughter,  who  sees  his  own  con- 
ceited little  self  as  the  largest  and  most  im- 
portant thing  in  sight, — that  child,  if  he  is 
ever  to  become  a  reverent  man,  can  become 
so  only  through  bitter  disillusionment  and 
sorrow. 

This,  to  my  mind,  touches  upon  a  fatal 
weakness  in  some  modern  methods  of  educa- 
tion,— methods  which,  in  their  desire  to  de- 
velop self-expression,  are  in  danger  of  kill- 
ing reverence. 

A  friend  of  mine  once  visited  a  school 
where  the  children  were  given,  according  to 
this  theory,  every  opportunity  for  self-ex- 
pression, and  where  the  word  "obedience" 
was  taboo.  As  she  passed  a  small  boy,  she 
accidentally  brushed  against  his  work.  Be- 
fore she  could  apologize,  he  struck  a  violent 
blow  at  her.  She  remonstrated,  whereat  he 
looked  up  in  surprise  and  said,  "Oh,  I 
thought  you  were  one  of  the  teachers!" 


268     Character  Training  in  Childhood 

Let  me  not  be  misunderstood.  I  entirely 
approve  the  development  of  self-expression, 
but  not  wben  it  means  the  sacrifice  of  cour- 
tesy and  that  deeper  feeling  which,  as  I  have 
said,  is  the  root  of  all  reverence. 


EELIGION  AND  THE  HOME 

To  the  child's  unspoiled,  natural  rever- 
ence, must  be  added  service.  To  his  faith 
must  be  added  works.  And,  as  the  child 
grows  older,  as  his  reason  develops,  bringing 
with  it  questions  and  perhaps  doubts,  he 
must  be  given  a  reasonable  and  satisfying 
mental  basis  for  his  faith. 

Just  as  reverence  begins  in  the  home,  so 
must  belief  and  service  first  take  root  there. 

By  a  "mental  basis  for  faith"  I  mean  that 
we  must  lead  our  children  to  see  life  not  as 
a  haphazard  jumble  of  utterly  inscrutable 
mysteries,  but  as  a  series  of  causes  and  ef- 
fects, through  which,  though  in  partial  and 
broken  ghmpses,  we  may  trace  the  One 
Cause  of  all. 

In  the  kindergarten,  when  the  children 
have  their  luncheon  of  bread,  the  teacher 
shows  them  a  spray  of  wheat.     Perhaps  she 

269 


270     Character  Training  in  Childhood 

also  shows  a  handful  of  flour.  Maybe  they 
build  a  mill  with  their  blocks  and  sing  a  song 
about  the  miller.  And  then  they  repeat  the 
beautiful  verse : 

"Back  of  the  loaf  is  the  snowy  flour 
And  back  of  the  flour  is  the  mill, 
And  back  of  the  mill  is  the  wheat  and  the  shower. 
And  the  sun — and  the  Father's  will." 

They  sing  about  the  seed^  which  they 
plant,  and  which  will,  through  the  magic  of 
sun  and  rain,  be  turned  into  flowers.  They 
wriggle  about  the  floor  as  caterpillars,  then 
curl  up  into  make-believe  cocoons  and  at  last 
dart  hither  and  thither  as  radiant  butter- 
flies. In  all  their  games,  songs  and  activi- 
ties, they  repeat  over  and  over  the  vast  story 
of  creation,  seeing  all  things  as  parts  of  a 
mighty  whole,  all  subject  to  the  eternal  law 
of  cause  and  effect. 

But  does  the  average  home  strengthen  and 
further  the  influence  of  the  kindergarten  in 
this  respect?  Alas,  it  does  not!  In  many, 
if  not  most  homes,  the  child's  instinctive 
thirst  for  knowledge  of  the  reason  behind 


RELIGION 

US  influences 


ANDTH 


beg) 


bHOME 

the  home 


^Tlie  Qvenhig  Siori/" 

Help  children  io  grasp  the 
law  o^  cause  and  effect 
and  to  see  God  in  all 
beauty  and  happiness. 


Religion  and  the  Home  271 

commands  and  the  causes  back  of  results  is 
unmercifully  snubbed. 

*' Mother,  why  can't  I  go  out?" 
** Because  I  say  so!" 

*' Father,  what  makes  my  heart  beat?" 
**Why,  that's  what  hearts  are  for.    Don't 
ask  silly  questions." 
*' Mother,  where  do  babies  come  from?" 
*'The  stork  brings  them  on  his  back." 
So  we  go  on,  checking,  evading,  lying, — 
doing  anything  and  everything  rather  than 
trying  to  show  the  child,  simply  and  clearly, 
the  workings  of  that  law  of  cause  and  effect 
which  rules  the  universe.     And  yet  we  won- 
der that  people  are  illogical,  superstitious, 
irreverent.    Why  should  they  be  otherwise  ? 
What  is  there  to  inspire  reverence  in  a  hap- 
hazard universe  ruled  over  by  a  God  of 
Whims  ? 

Again  I  repeat  that  the  irreverence  and  ir- 
religion  of  our  children  are  our  fault  and  not 
theirs.  Little  John  arrives  in  a  strange, 
new  world.  He  soon  discovers  that  ''you 
never  can  tell"  what  the  effect  of  any  action 


272     Character  Training  in  Childhood 

will  be.  Sometimes  if  you  cry,  it  brings  a 
smiling,  soothing  face  and  two  soft  arms 
around  you.  Sometimes  it  brings  a  most 
unpleasant  spank.  If  you  yell,  it  may  bring 
grandma  who  will  call  you  her  lamb  and 
walk  up  and  down  with  you,  or  again  it  may 
bring  Nora  who  will  slap  you. 

As  little  John  grows  older,  he  finds  that  it 
becomes  more  and  more  difficult  to  forecast 
the  results  of  things.  Sometimes  when  he 
says,  "I  won't,"  Mother  just  laughs;  some- 
times she  looks  apologetic, — that  is  when  she 
has  company, — and  gently  says,  "Oh,  dar- 
ling, don't  speak  so  to  mother. "  And  some- 
times she  says  nothing  at  all,  but  just  grabs 
him  and  punishes  him  before  he  knows  what 
has  happened. 

And  little  John  finds  that  it  is  the  same 
with  Father.  Sometimes  he  can  play  with 
Father's  things  and  Father  will  just  smile 
and  call  him  a  little  rogue ;  but  there  was  one 
dreadful  time  when  he  took  a  letter  from 
Father's  desk  and  instead  of  laughing,  as 


Religion  and  the  Home  273 

lie  had  always  done  before,  Father  got  quite 
red,  and  said  a  queer,  interesting,  new  word, 
and  shook  John  until  Mother  pulled  him 
away.  Isn't  such  an  incalculable,  change- 
able universe  enough  to  make  any  little  boy 
feel  that  it  is  all  a  silly  muddle,  without  any 
Reason  back  of  it? 

And  thus  little  John  is  likely  to  grow 
either  into  the  bigot  who  blindly  and  super- 
stitiously  bows  to  the  will  of  a  capricious 
and  tyrannical  deity,  or  into  the  cynic,  who, 
behind  the  dark  riddle  of  the  universe,  can 
discern  no  God. 

But  Baby  Mary,  almost  as  soon  as  she  ar- 
rives in  this  world,  begins  to  feel  that  it  is  a 
place  where  law  reigns.  If  one  screams 
merely  for  pleasure  or  for  company,  one  is 
left  alone.  If  one  smiles,  one  sees  the  smile 
reflected  back  from  loving  eyes.  If  Mother 
says,* 'No,  darling,"  her  gentle  voice  and 
smile  mean  ''No,"  just  the  same.  When 
Father  says  he  will  read  aloud  to  you  that 
night,  he  always  does  it,  even  if  he  is  tired. 


274     Character  Training  in  Childhood 

When  Mother  promises  you  a  treat  or  a 
punishment,  you  are  sure  in  either  case  to 
have  it. 

And  Mother  and  Father  are  never  too  busy 
to  tell  you  the  why  of  things.  They  will  tell 
you,  just  as  far  as  you  can  understand, 
everything  you  ask  about.  And  so  the  world 
comes  to  seem  to  Mary  a  very  beautiful  and 
orderly  place,  where  one  has  a  comforting 
sense  of  security, — a  place  where  certain 
things  lead  to  certain  other  things,  where 
naughtiness  always  brings  sorrow  and  where 
love  always  begets  happiness  and  love  in  re- 
turn. And  so  Mary  sees  the  universe  ruled, 
as  her  home  is  ruled,  by  a  loving  and  just 
Power,  upon  whose  laws  His  children  may 
eternally  rely. 

Mary,  as  she  grows  older,  may,  indeed,  for- 
sake the  doctrines  of  her  parents,  but  she 
can  never  forsake  their  faith,  for  it  is 
grounded  in  every  fibre  of  her  being,  from 
her  very  infancy. 

The  Reverend  W.  C.  Gannett,  in  a  beauti- 
ful little  book  entitled  ''The  Little  Child  at 


Religion  and  the  Home  275 

the  Breakfast  Table,"  suggests  a  number  of 
childlike,  simple  prayers  and  readings  which 
might  well  be  used  in  any  home.  Among 
them  is  a  poem  of  his  own  called,  "In  the 
Father's  House,"  which  expresses  most 
beautifully  the  place  of  the  home  in  forming 
the  child's  religious  thought. 

"I  read  of  'many  mansions' 
Within  the  House  Divine, 
But  need  not  go  to  find  them. 
For  one  of  them  is  mine. 

"And  when  I  say,  'Our  Father,' 
It  seems  so  far  away 
To  think  of  Heaven  up  yonder — 
I  think  of  Home,  and  pray." 


RELIGIOUS  EDUCATION 

In  a  recent  gathering  at  which  I  was  pres- 
ent, the  conversation  turned  upon  early  re- 
ligious education  and  each  one  related  his 
own  childish  experience. 

It  so  happened  that  the  six  people  pres- 
ent represented  six  different  sects.  The 
first  two  speakers  represented  the  Roman 
Catholic  and  the  Protestant  Episcopal 
faiths.  They  had,  in  early  childhood,  been 
taught  the  doctrines  of  their  parents' 
church,  had  accepted  them  as  unquestion- 
ingly  as  they  had  accepted  their  school  teach- 
er's  statement  that  the  earth  was  round,  and 
still  held  these  doctrines  as  matters  to  be  ac- 
cepted on  faith. 

Of  the  other  four,  the  first  was  reared  in 
the  Baptist  doctrine.  "Religion  meant 
nothing  to  me  as  a  child,"  she  said.  *'I  was 
taught  the  doctrines  of  my  church,  but  they 

276 


Religious  Education  277 

merely  bored  me.  It  was  only  when  I 
reached  the  age  of  about  fourteen  that  re- 
ligion really  began  to  mean  something  to 


me." 


The  fourth  speaker  said,  "I  was  brought 
up  a  Scotch  Presbyterian,  but  its  doctrines 
repelled  me.  I  joined  the  church,  but  it 
never  satisfied  me.  When  I  grew  up,  I  be- 
came a  Christian  Scientist.  I  was  a  reli- 
gious minded  child,  but  doctrine  did  not  sat- 
isfy me." 

The  fifth  speaker  was  born  into  a  Method- 
ist household.  "I  hated  Sunday,"  he  said, 
"and  I  never  saw  any  sense  in  church  doc- 
trine. My  parents  were  truly  religious,  and 
trained  us  conscientiously,  but  by  the  time 
I  was  fourteen,  my  sister  and  I  were  holding 
surreptitious  discussions  as  to  whether  there 
really  was  a  God.  We  both  thought  not. 
It  was  only  when  I  grew  older,  and  saw  God 
through  Nature  and  man,  that  I  won  any 
religious  faith." 

The  sixth,  a  Quaker,  said,  ''I  was  taught 
no  doctrine  whatever,  as  a  child.     I  had  a 


278     Character  Training  in  CJiildhood 

loving,  just,  consistent  mother  who  tried  to 
make  me  see  God  as  the  source  of  all  good 
gifts,  who  presented  Jesus  as  the  Perfect 
Example,  and  who  taught  me  that  the 
*  Light  Within'  was  the  one  absolute  guide 
to  right  living.  My  faith  today  is  the  same 
as  when  I  was  a  child. ' ' 

I  quote  this  conversation  not  to  advocate 
the  teaching  or  the  avoidance  of  doctrine, 
much  less  to  praise  or  blame  any  one  of  the 
six  churches  mentioned.  I  mention  it 
merely  to  illustrate  how  little  effect  doctrine 
has  on  the  conduct  of  children.  If  they  are 
of  the  unquestioning,  conservative  tempera- 
ment, they  v^ill  accept  any  doctrine  taught 
them,  just  as  they  accept  the  statement  that 
the  sun  is  almost  ninety-three  million  miles 
from  the  earth, — a  statement  whose  truth, 
for  them,  is  based  on  authority  alone,  not  on 
personal  conviction. 

If  they  are  of  the  skeptical,  inquiring  tem- 
perament, they  will  begin  to  dissect  and  cri- 
ticise doctrines  whose  inner  symbolism  they 
cannot  understand,  and  this  process  will 


Religious  Education  ^79 

often  end  in  turning  the  child  altogether 
away  from  the  church  of  his  parents. 

In  either  case,  doctrine  has  no  real,  vital 
part  in  the  life  of  any  child,  until  he  has 
reached  an  age  where  he  is  able  to  see  the 
spiritual  significance  of  doctrine  and  ritual. 
It  may  then  make  an  appeal  to  both  heart 
and  mind,  but  it  has  no  place  in  early  child- 
hood. 

Has  the  Sunday  School,  then,  no  mission 
to  the  child?  Assuredly.  The  Sunday 
School  should  extend  and  deepen  the  reli- 
gious influences  of  the  home.  It  should  be 
to  the  child  what  the  church  should  be  to  the 
man,  a  common  center  for  inspiration,  devo- 
tion and  service,  not  in  solitude,  but  with  his 
fellows. 

As  I  have  said,  young  children  are  not  in- 
terested in  doctrine.  The  Sunday  School 
should  give  them  reverent  Nature  study,  old 
Testament  stories,  simply  told,  allegories 
and  symbolic  fairy  tales. 

As  they  grow  older,  they  will  be  intensely 
interested    in    stories    of    great    men    and 


280     Character  Training  in  Childhood 

women.  They  should  learn  from  Joan  of 
Are  the  power  of  absolute  faith,  from  Clara 
Barton  the  joy  of  service,  and  from  Father 
Damien  the  beauty  of  selfless  sacrifice  for 
others.  Thus  shall  they  learn,  through 
studying  the  flowers,  the  animals  and  the 
great  men  and  women  of  this  world,  to  know 
the  God  who,  as  someone  has  said,  sleeps  in 
the  stones,  dreams  in  the  animals  and  wakes 
in  man. 

Above  all,  they  should  know  the  New 
Testament  story  not  as  dogma,  not  as  an  un- 
real tale  about  half -mythical  personages,  but 
as  the  story  of  actual  happenings  experi- 
enced by  real  men  and  women.  The 
Founder  of  Christianity  must  be  loved  as  a 
man  before  the  child  can  truly  worship  him 
as  a  God. 

I  shall  never  forget  once  talking  with  a 
group  of  boys  from  ten  to  fourteen  years  old 
who  had  been  reared  in  the  slums  of  Phil- 
adelphia. It  was  Palm  Sunday  and  I  had 
asked  them  why  it  was  so  called. 


Religious  Education  281 

"Why  because  tliey  have  palms  in  church 
that  day." 

''Yes,  but  why  do  they  have  the  palms?" 
I  replied. 

No  one  could  answer.  No  one  had  ever 
heard  the  story  of  Jesus'  last  week  on  earth. 
They  knew,  vaguely,  that  he  had  been  cruci- 
fied, but  how  or  why  they  had  never  heard. 
They  had  never  been  told  of  the  last  supper, 
of  Judas 's  betrayal,  of  the  scene  in  Geth- 
semane,  or  of  Easter  morning. 

To  most  of  us  this  is  indeed,  as  the  hymn 
says,  "the  old,  old  story,"  so  old  that  too 
often  it  seems  unreal.  But  to  those  boys  it 
was  as  new  as  the  afternoon  newspaper.  I 
tried  to  strip  it  of  all  ecclesiasticism,  to  tell 
it  as  simply  and  directly  as  if  it  were  some- 
thing that  had  happened  not  nineteen-hun- 
dred  years  ago  in  Jerusalem,  but  yesterday 
in  Philadelphia.  And  I  had  my  reward. 
They  listened  with  breathless  interest.  I 
purposely  dwelt  but  lightly  on  the  cruci- 
fixion, not  wishing  to  revolt  them  or  feed  a 


282     Character  Training  in  Childhood 

morbid  taste  for  the  dreadful,  but  the  story 
so  held  them  that  one  little  fellow  of  twelve 
exclaimed,  "Gee!  Just  think  of  their  put- 
ting nails  through  Ms  hands  and  feet!  I 
couldn't  have  done  it, — I'd  rather  have  been 
killed,  myself!" 

Anyone  who  has  ever  told  a  child  a  Bible 
story  which  he  himself  felt  not  as  a  story, 
but  a  reality,  can  duplicate  my  experience. 
M  the  Bible  is  unreal  to  our  children,  it  is 
because  it  is  unreal  to  us  who  attempt  to 
teach  them. 

Another  benefit  of  Sunday  School  attend- 
ance is  that  it  accustoms  the  child  to  think 
of  religion  not  as  a  merely  personal  matter, 
but  as  something  in  which  he  can  help  and 
be  helped  by  others.  By  taking  part  in  the 
singing,  the  prayers  and  other  Sunday 
School  services,  he  feels  himself  a  member  of 
that  Christian  Church  which  moves  "like  a 
mighty  army"  against  the  forces  of  destruc- 
tion and  evil.  The  prayer  which  he  mur- 
murs beside  his  bed  at  night  may  make  him 
feel  the  Fatherhood  of  God,  but  the  prayer 


Religious  Education  283 

in  which  his  voice  mingles  with  his  fellows 
will  help  him  to  realize  the  Brotherhood  of 
Man. 

Thus  attendance  at  Sunday  School  is  the 
best  preparation  for  the  right  sort  of  church 
membership  and  for  taking  part  in  the  wor- 
ship, the  responsibilities  and  the  civic  activi- 
ties of  the  church. 

No  matter  what  our  creed,  or  lack  of 
creed,  our  children,  if  they  are  to  lead  the 
fullest  religious  life,  need  this  association 
with  others,  this  sense  that  they  are  an  ac- 
tive part  of  the  force  that  is  working  to  bring 
in  the  Kingdom. 


RELIGION  IS  A  PERSONAL 
POWER 

The  religion  of  a  child,  as  we  have  said 
before,  expresses  itself  in  reverence,  love  and 
service.  What  form  may  that  service  take  ? 
How  can  we  make  his  religion  a  reality  to 
the  child, — how  shall  we  make  the  religious 
sentiment  function  in  service  I  As  the  feel- 
ing of  hunger  has  for  its  end  the  functions 
of  digestion  and  nutrition,  so  the  religious 
feelings  have  for  their  natural  end  the  func- 
tion of  service.  As  the  man  who  gratifies 
his  appetite  without  regard  to  his  digestion 
suffers,  so  must  the  man  suffer  who  indulges 
in  a  religious  sentimentality  that  has  no 
thought  of  service.  Spiritual  indigestion 
and  malnutrition  are  the  inevitable  result. 

How,  I  repeat,  shall  we  train  our  children 
to  make  their  religious  instincts  flower  into 
service  ? 

284 


RELIGION  "SA  PERSONAL  POWER 

Religion  leads  io  right  action. 
Withoui  it  an  alert  mind  and 
body  may  be  turned  to  evil  ends. 


^^ 


.  4  ^llodcni  "Good  SaniarHan' 
The  test  of  religion  is  conduct. 
Sentiment,  without  action, 
becomes  empty 
sentimentality/. 


Religion  Is  a  Personal  Power       285 

We  must  begin  in  the  home  and  with  the 
child's  personal  relationships. 

As  the  child  first  learns  reverence  through 
respect  and  admiration  for  his  parents,  and 
first  learns  to  love  God  through  loving  his 
father  and  mother,  so  he  should  first  learn 
to  serve  God  by  helping  them. 

The  scriptural  injunction  to  ''Honor  thy 
father  and  thy  mother"  seems  rather  out  of 
fashion,  nowadays.  In  their  desire  to  give 
their  children  every  advantage.  Father  and 
Mother  have  in  most  cases  made  the  entire 
life  of  the  household  visibly  revolve  about 
the  children,  their  advancement,  their  de- 
sires, their  pleasure. 

It  is,  of  course,  quite  proper  that  the  fam- 
ily life  should  first  and  foremost  consider 
what  is  for  the  best  welfare  of  the  children. 
But  it  is  not  for  the  best  welfare  of  the 
children  to  feel  themselves,  that  they  are  the 
rightful  center  of  interest  and  that  their 
pleasure  is  of  more  importance  than  their 
parents'  comfort.  On  the  contrary,  it  is 
best  for  the  children  to  feel  that  Father's  or 


286     Character  Training  in  Childhood 

Mother's  or  Grannie's  happiness  is  of  prime 
importance. 

Of  course  the  only  way  to  rouse  this  un- 
selfish instinct  for  service  is  for  each  parent 
to  *'play  into  the  other's  hands."  Mother 
can  suggest  that  Brother  help  Father  to  mow 
the  lawn,  that  Sister  make  his  favorite 
dessert  or  stay  home  to  play  cards  with  him 
instead  of  going  out  when  he  has  an  after- 
noon at  home,  that  Baby  bring  his  slippers 
and  make  him  a  book  mark  or  a  blotter. 
Father  can  urge  the  children  to  help  mother 
with  her  housework,  to  plan  little  surprises 
and  treats  for  her  and  to  show  their  love  for 
her  in  a  thousand  little,  practical  ways.  As 
for  Grannie,  blessed  is  the  child  who, 
through  possessing  such  a  constant  oppor- 
tunity for  service,  learns  the  lesson  of  will- 
ing and  joyful  forget  fulness  of  self. 

A  most  beautifully  "serviceable"  woman 
once  said  to  me,  ' '  Thank  Heaven,  I  had  the 
old-fashioned  sort  of  grandmother  whom  I 
could  wait  upon  and  who  was  the  center  of 
our  home!    We  children  regarded  her  as 


Religion  Is  a  Personal  Power      287 

the  natural  pivot  upon  whose  comfort  our 
life  must  turn.  Not  that  she  was  selfish, — 
far  from  it ;  but  she  was  frail  and  helpless. 
Our  boisterous  play  had  to  be  checked,  lest 
it  disturb  her  nap.  Our  outings  were  modi- 
fied to  suit  her  convenience.  Every  day  my 
sister  and  I  walked  some  distance  to  a  dairy 
to  get  the  buttermilli  which  she  liked  best. 
Her  love  and  appreciation  were  our  reward. 
I  can  see  her  now,  with  her  sparkling  dark 
eyes  and  white  satin  bands  of  rippling  hair, 
— so  pretty,  so  frail, — she  was  the  most  won- 
derful opportunity  for  service  that  any  child 
could  have." 

The  opportunities  for  service  in  the  home 
are  less  obvious  today  than  when  this 
speaker  was  a  child,  thirty  years  ago.  The 
modern  grandmother  is,  as  a  rule,  neither 
frail,  nor  appealing.  She  is  likely  to  be 
a  capable,  shrewd,  up-to-date  sort  of 
person. 

The  modern  home,  with  every  labor-sav- 
ing convenience,  has  swept  away  many  of  the 
little  "chores"  that  old-fashioned  children 


288     Character  Training  in  Childhood 

used  to  do.  The  telephone  runs  many  of  the 
errands.  The  janitor  sweeps  the  sidewalk 
and  tends  the  furnace.  The  department 
store,  bakery  and  grocery  deliver  their 
''readymade"  products  at  the  door.  Elec- 
tricity has  done  away  with  the  filling  of 
lamps  and  steam-heat  with  the  bringing  in 
of  wood  and  carrying  out  of  ashes. 

There  is  a  real  danger  that  with  the  pass- 
ing of  old-fashioned  inconveniences  our 
children  may  also  lose  some  of  the  old-fash- 
ioned opportunities  for  service  and  the  spirit 
of  co-operation  in  the  home.  It  is  the  busi- 
ness of  every  parent  to  discover  and  if  neces- 
sary to  create  opportunities  for  service  for 
his  children. 

Every  great  religious  teacher  from  the  be- 
ginning of  time  has  pointed  out  that  ''Faith 
without  works  is  dead,"  that  the  test  of  re- 
ligion is  whether  it  bears  fruit  in  service. 

Now,  if  our  children  are  to  be  ''service- 
able" citizens,  they  must  first  learn  the  spirit 
and  art  of  service  in  the  home.  It  is  non- 
sense to  teach  civics  and  public  spirit  to  a 


Religion  Is  a  Personal  Power       289 

boy  or  girl  who,  in  the  home,  is  being  trained 
in  selfish  individualism. 

You  cannot  make  a  good  internationalist 
of  a  bad  patriot,  or  a  public-spirited  citizen 
of  a  selfish  son  and  brother.  The  spirit  of 
service  grows  in  ever-widening  circles  from 
the  home  outward. 

I  once  heard  it  said  of  the  late  Edward 
Everett  Hale  that  he  was  the  right  sort  of 
''world-citizen"  because  he  was  a  patriotic 
American,  because  he  was  a  loyal  son  of 
Massachusetts,  because  he  was  a  devoted 
Bostonian,  because  he  was  a  loving,  helpful 
son  and  brother. 

Therefore,  since  we  learn  to  serve  only 
through  serving,  let  us  try  to  make  our 
young  people  think  a  little  less  about  "the 
right  of  the  individual  to  self-expression" 
and  a  little  more  about  the  duty  of  every  liv- 
ing soul  to  be  of  service.  Let  us  train  them 
to  seek  opportunities  for  usefulness.  Only 
thus  can  religion  be  made  real.  Only  thus 
can  they  be  prepared  for  a  useful  and  happy 
life. 


RELIGION  IS  A  SOCIAL  POWER 

It  is  often  pointed  out  that  while  "Charity 
begins  at  home,"  it  should  not  stop  there, 
and  it  is  equally  true  that  the  Religion  of 
Service,  which  begins  in  the  home,  must  ex- 
tend to  the  city,  state,  nation  and  world. 

It  is  a  matter  of  common  observation  that 
devoted  husbands  and  fathers  are  not  al- 
ways honest  business  men,  that  zealous  citi- 
zens often  jolace  the  interests  of  their  own 
community  above  those  of  the  nation,  and 
that  ardent  patriots  are  not  above  "goug- 
ing" foreign  governments,  when  they  see  a 
chance. 

The  little  child  is  essentially  an  egoist. 
Religion  is  that  socializing  power  which 
leads  him  out  of  the  prison  of  self  and 
teaches  him  to  subordinate  self  to  family, 
family  to  community,  community  to  nation 
and  nation  to  the  world. 

290 


RELIGION 's  A  SOCIAL  POWER 

The  coming  of  a  belter  world  order 
depends  upon  cooperaiive  service. 


m 


"(P/ciin-up  Dai/'^ 

The  child  who  shares  in  the 
NA/ork  of  home  school  and 
comma niiy  will  'see  that  the 
world  is  unfinished  and  needs 
his  joyful  cooperation!' 


Religion  Is  a  Social  Power         291 

We  have  already  spoken  of  training  in 
service  in  the  home  and  for  the  family. 
How  shall  we  train  our  children  for  wider 
service  in  the  community? 

Here  again,  we  must  begin  with  the  sim- 
ple, everyday  relationshii^s  that  daily  enter 
the  child 's  life.  What  should  be  his  attitude 
toward  the  policeman,  the  fireman,  the  ash- 
collector,  the  street-sweeper? 

A  friend  of  mine  who  was  herself  deeply 
imbued  with  civic  spirit  determined  that  her 
little  son  should  be  the  same.  So,  when  he 
was  not  more  than  two  years  old,  she  would 
say,  as  they  crossed  the  street,  ''See  how 
hard  the  sweeper  has  worked  so  that  Brother 
may  have  a  clean  place  to  walk  in,  and  not 
soil  his  new  shoes.  There  is  the  sweeper 
now.  Would  you  like  to  thank  him?" 
And  the  baby,  again  and  again,  thanked  the 
"white  wings"  for  cleaning  the  crossing. 

My  friend  said  that  that  Italian  sweeper 
seemed  to  put  fresh  heart  into  his  work, 
looked  daily  for  the  grateful  baby  and  when, 
later,  her  little  boy  died,  the  sweeper's  grief 


292     Character  Training  in  Childhood 

touched  her  heart.  Who  knows  what  new 
sense  of  hiunan  brotherhood  and  of  civic  dig- 
nity in  his  hmnble  task  came  to  that  Italian 
laborer  from  that  one  mother's  thoughtful- 
ness? 

Yet  how  few  parents  ever  think  to  point 
out  our  debt  to  the  various  public  servants 
upon  whom  so  much  of  our  safety  and  com- 
fort depends.  The  mother  who  will  not  al- 
low her  children  to  '' clutter  up"  the  house 
which  she  must  clean,  thinks  nothing  of  let- 
ting them  throw  paper  and  rubbish  into  the 
street,  for  the  sweeper  to  pick  up.  The 
policeman  is  a  bugaboo  to  the  small  child 
and  a  joke  to  the  older  one.  The  garbage 
collector  is  regarded  with  contempt.  Up- 
setting ash  barrels  is ' '  fun, ' ' — no  matter  how 
the  ashman  regards  it ! 

Now  all  this  is  wrong, — so  wrong  that  un- 
til it  is  righted  we  can  make  no  headway 
with  teaching  the  higher  and  nobler  aspects 
of  civics. 

Again  I  repeat,  children  are  not  im- 
pressed by  talk.     They  are  impressed  by 


Religion  Is  a  Social  Power         293 

persons  and  visible  actions.  Many  schools 
have  had  policemen  actually  come  to  the 
school,  tell  the  children  about  their  work  and 
suggest  ways  in  which  the  children  may 
help.  A  real,  live  fireman,  explaining  his 
work,  exhibiting  his  apparatus,  and  telling 
the  children  how  they  may  help  the  Depart- 
ment by  avoiding  fire  risks  is  worth  all  the 
abstract  talks  in  the  world.  A  visit  to  a 
garbage  reduction  plant  will  make  the  child 
understand  and  respect  the  law  against  mix- 
ing garbage  with  other  refuse.  A  study  of 
the  actual  working  of  the  street  cleaning  de- 
partment will  enlist  the  boy  or  girl  in  the 
movement  for  a  cleaner  city. 

Most  children, — and  most  adults,  I  fear, 
— live  in  their  city  as  guests  in  a  strange 
house,  where  everything  is  done  for  their 
comfort,  but  where  they  feel  no  responsibil- 
ity. Not  only  do  they  feel  no  responsibility 
for  helping,  but  too  often  they  actually  hin- 
der. Their  activity  seems  to  expend  itself 
in  fault-finding  and  in  querulous  complaints 
that  ''they  "  don't  do  anything  to  better  mat- 


294     Character  Training  in  Childhood 

ters.  The  critics  never  seem  to  consider 
that  in  a  democracy  ''they"  means  you  and 
me,  and  that  government  can  rise  no  higher 
than  the  level  of  our  intelligence  and  energy. 

Now  the  only  way  to  bring  in  a  better 
world  order  is  through  better,  more  social- 
minded  men  and  women,  and  the  only  way  to 
rear  a  generation  of  such  men  and  women 
is  to  give  them  the  social  viewpoint  in  their 
childhood. 

But  they  will  not  gain  this  viewpoint  un- 
less parents,  teachers  and  the  general  pub- 
lic combine  to  aid  them  in  doing  so. 

As  I  have  said,  even  a  very  little  child 
may  be  led  to  see  himself  as  a  debtor  to  his 
community.  Even  a  baby  may  be  taught  to 
do  his  part  toward  civic  cleanliness  by 
throwing  paper  in  the  trash-can  instead  of 
littering  the  street.  He  may  be  taught  that 
waste  is  wrong,  that  the  firemen  need  water 
to  put  out  fires  and  that  the  gardener  in  the 
par'k  needs  it  to  water  his  plants,  so  that 
the  rest  of  us  must  not  leave  faucets  use- 
lessly running.     He  may  be  taught  not  to 


Religion  Is  a  Social  Power         295 

mark  and  deface  buildings  and  sidewalks. 
As  the  child  grows  older,  he  should  be 
shown  the  workings  of  the  various  city  de- 
partments, should  understand  all  that  the 
city,  state  and  nation  do  for  their  citizens, — 
how  they  protect  him  from  danger,  from 
fire,  from  impure  food;  how  they  provide 
free  parks,  playgrounds,  music  and  other 
pleasure ;  how  they  give  every  child  the  op- 
portunity for  education;  how,  every  day  of 
his  life,  he  is  protected,  strengthened  and 
guided  by  the  State.  He  should  be  shown 
how  much  it  costs  the  state  to  do  all  this,  and 
he  should  be  made  to  feel  it  a  shameful  thing 
that  any  man,  woman  or  child  should  re- 
ceive so  much  and  give  nothing  in  return. 

We  must  mobilize  our  children  for  the 
defense  of  their  own  future.  We  must  en- 
list them  as  Junior  Sanitary  Inspectors,  or 
in  Civic  Leagues,  or  in  some  other  form  of 
concerted  striving  for  practical  citizenship. 
We  must  make  them  feel  that  every  right 
carries  with  it  a  duty  and  every  privilege  a 
responsibility. 


296    Character  Training  in  Childhood 

These  are  days  of  '^reconstruction."  We 
hear  much  talk  of  framing  better  laws,  mak- 
ing a  better  environment,  building  a  new  and 
better  civilization. 

All  this  is  as  it  should  be.  Let  us,  by  all 
means,  have  a  better  social  structure.  But 
let  us  not  forget  that  to  have  a  better  struc- 
ture, we  must  have  a  better  foundation  and 
the  foundation  of  a  noble  and  stable  State 
is  earnest,  devoted,  public-spirited  citizens. 

These  citizens  are  the  boys  and  girls  of  to- 
day. It  lies  with  us  what  they  shall  become. 
It  lies  with  us  whether  they  shall  be  selfish 
individualists,  seeking  their  own  pleasure, 
or  strong  men  and  women,  embodying  in 
their  lives  the  Religion  of  Democracy,  and 
making  America  a  fitter  place  for  their  chil- 
dren and  their  children's  children. 


THE  END 


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